


Not An Ordinary Life

by IvanW



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Bonding, Friendship, Gay Sex, M/M, Romance, Romulans, Sexual Content, Starfleet Academy, T'hy'la, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2014-11-13
Packaged: 2018-01-09 21:16:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 53,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1150878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim Kirk dreams of being in Starfleet, but his dad, George, hates Starfleet since the death of his wife in a Starfleet battle. An old friend of George's, Christopher Pike, comes to Riverside to convince George Jim has a brilliant future. And he brings a certain Vulcan with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Birthday

Jim Kirk didn’t feel much different having just turned sixteen than he had the day before. They’d had a party—it was just him, his dad, his brother, Sam, and Sam’s girlfriend, Aurelan—with his dad baking a small cake and fixing Jim’s favorite dinner of hamburgers. But even that was over now and his dad had fallen asleep on the couch.

Jim sat outside gazing up at the stars with the present Sam had given him. A little model of a starship. Every once in a while he would move it through the air in front of him and pretend it was real and he was on it, flying through space as a member of Starfleet. No, not a member. Captain. He was the captain of the starship.

He sighed. Like he’d ever get to leave Riverside, Iowa. His dad was dead set against any of his sons joining Starfleet. George Kirk had been a member of Starfleet once himself. As had their mother, Winona. A lifetime ago, Jim supposed. Their mom was gone and their dad now hated Starfleet.

The night air had grown cold and Jim knew he should probably go back inside the farmhouse. But there were no stars inside.

Behind him he heard Sam coming from out of the barn. He glanced back to see Sam pulling his shirt on over his head. That certainly explained what his older brother and Aurelan had been doing.

His brother sat on the old wooden crate beside Jim. He rolled his eyes. “Maybe it was a mistake to give you that ship.”

“Why?”

“Dad’s never gonna let you join, kiddo.”

“I won’t be a minor forever, Sam.”

“So you’re gonna ditch this place someday, huh?”

“If that’s what it takes. Riverside blows anyway.”

Sam was quiet as he pulled his knees up to his chest. “It sure does. You aren’t the only one wanting to get out of here.”

“You and Aurelan?”

“She’s pregnant.”

Jim blinked. “Yeah?”

Sam nodded. “Told me a few days ago. I haven’t told Dad. In fact, you’re the first one I have told.”

“What-what are you gonna do?”

“Aurelan wants to get married,” Sam replied, looking up at the stars.

“Married? God, you’re only nineteen.”

“She’s only eighteen.” His brother sighed. “I know. I didn’t plan on this.”

“Jesus, Sammy, don’t you know about birth control?”

“Yeah. Don’t be a pain in the ass, would you? You’re my kid brother. Don’t act like Dad.”

“Sorry.” Jim leaned back and stared up at the stars. His stars. They belonged to him. Or he belonged to them. Whatever. “Are you gonna do it then?”

“Probably.” Sam shrugged. “Gotta be responsible, you know? It’s my fault it happened.”

“And then what?”

“Get out of Riverside. Maybe go to Chicago. Get a job.”

Jim frowned. “But you wanted to be a scientist.”

“I still do. Aurelan, too. Maybe we can be. But here?” Sam shook his head. “Not here. Farming has never been my dream. Hell, kiddo, it’s not even Dad’s dream. This place belonged to his parents. He only came back here cause Mom…well, you know.”

“If you and Aurelan leave it’s just gonna be Dad and me,” Jim protested.

“I know. But I’m going to have a wife and a kid to look after.”

Aurelan came out of the barn then, smiling, and she came to stand by Sam, who looped his arm around her waist. “Did you have a good birthday, Jim?”

“It was okay.”

“Awe, Jimmy, I’m sorry it wasn’t better.” She ruffled his blond hair. “At least you got your test results.”

Sam frowned. “Test results? What test results?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jim mumbled.

“Doesn’t matter? Your genius brother took the Starfleet entrance exam.”

Sam stared at him. “What?”

Aurelan grinned. “And he not only passed but he got the top score.”

“Top score?” Sam repeated.

“Aurelan—”

“Ever,” she finished triumphantly.

“Wait, what?” Sam exclaimed.

Jim stood. “Ah, hell, what does it matter? I’m never getting out of this fucked up town anyway.” He hurried away from his brother and Aurelan.

“Jim, wait—”

“What’s wrong with him?” Aurelan asked.

Jim opened the back door of the house and went inside. He looked into the living room and could see his dad was still asleep on the couch. He went to the coffee table and snatched his dad’s car keys up and went out the front door to the car. He was in the old car and had started it up before Sam appeared directly next to the driver’s side window.

“James Kirk, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Sam shouted, pounding on the door.

Jim revved the engine and waved.

“You get your ass out of that car right now and get back into the house!”

“Fuck you, Sam.”

“Jim, Goddamn it! Stop being a brat.”

He shook his head and stepped on the gas, leaving his brother and Aurelan, who had ran up to join Sam, behind.

He left the car down the street from the seedy bar he intended to sneak into. Jim had managed to do it once with his fake ID, he figured it couldn’t be that hard to do it again. Plus it wasn’t like the guy who ran the place, Abe, really gave a fuck. Rumor was that if you sucked Abe’s dick, you could get away with anything.

As he approached the door, Jim noticed there were a lot more people hanging outside the entrance than there usually was. And some of them were wearing Starfleet cadet uniforms. Jim had heard some of them were in the area. They did have a shipyard just outside of Riverside. It was mostly for just small stuff like shuttlecrafts. If you didn’t have a farm in Riverside you worked there. Naturally Jim’s dad wouldn’t even let them work at the shipyard. He wanted nothing to do with Starfleet now.

Jim frowned. With so many people hanging out it was going to be a lot harder to sneak into the place. Just his damn luck. Could nothing go right on his own damn birthday?

Suddenly Jim slammed into something hard like a brick wall. It knocked him back and stole his breath.

“Hey, watch it, you moron,” an angry voice growled. “You dumb hick, what the hell is the matter with you?”

The man—the alien, he wasn’t sure what exactly, but he had scaly green skin—was huge. Well over Jim’s height and with big bulging muscles. He looked angry enough to kill Jim and Jim was pretty sure he could do it without even really trying.

“Sorry.”

“What did you say?” the alien demanded.

“I said… _sorry_.” Okay, maybe he said it a little defiantly. But hell, the guy had been in _his_ way.

The alien glared. “I’ll make you sorry, kid.” With surprising speed the alien grabbed Jim by the throat and held him off the ground. He got in Jim’s face, his hot, foul breath brushing across Jim’s skin. “You think you’re better than me, pretty boy?”

“Yeah.” Oh crap, why couldn’t he ever keep his mouth shut? No, Jim, the answer was no.

“I thought so. I’m gonna smash up that pretty face of yours until you’ll never be pretty again.” He drew back his fist and slammed it into Jim’s face so hard his head snapped back. Searing pain laced through his head.

“Leave my brother alone you stupid fuck!” Sam shouted.

Sam. Oh, God. Not Sam.

“No, Sam, don’t—”

But the big brutish alien had dropped Jim to focus on attacking Sam. Jim wiped the blood from his nose with the back of his hand and struggled to his feet just in time to see Sam being thrown across the parking lot.

“Fuck! Shit. No! Sam!” Jim jumped on the alien’s back to keep him from attacking Sam again.

The brute yelled in outrage and tried to dislodge Jim from his back while Jim wrapped his arm around the guy’s neck and squeezed. The alien roared and Jim found himself flung to the ground. He groaned as every bone in his body seemed to scream with pain.

“Do not continue your assault.” A male voice Jim did not recognize. And one that sounded pretty snooty, too.

The brutish alien froze just as he was about to reach for Jim again.

“Mind your own business,” the brute said.

“I will not. I have a phaser aimed at you. Shall I fire it or will you walk away?”

“You really should do as he says,” said another male voice near to whoever owned the snooty one. “He’s a great shot.”

Jim closed his eyes, the pain becoming overwhelming. When he opened one eye he saw that the alien was no longer there. He exhaled slowly. And then another man, this one human, appeared next to him, kneeling. He was older, probably his dad’s age, with a little graying at the temple.

“How are you feeling, son?” the man asked, obviously one of the two who had spoken earlier.

“Sucky.”

“I bet.”

“Sam?”

“He’ll be okay. Can you sit up?”

Jim blinked. “Yeah.”

The man helped him to sit up. His head swam a little but it wasn’t as bad as he thought.

“Who are you?” Jim asked.

“Christopher Pike. And you’re James and Sam Kirk.”

“Yeah, how’d you know that?”

“I know your dad.” Pike said. He helped Jim to stand.

Jim turned toward where Sam laid and saw that the other man was helping Sam. The guy was tall, thin, and had dark hair. That was all Jim could see at the moment as he was turned away from Jim.

“Who is that?” Jim asked with a frown.

“That’s Spock. He’s with me. Come, we’ll take you home.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Do you, uh, know how to drive a car?” the young blond human asked him from the passenger seat of the old Earth vehicle. Pike had introduced the human as James Kirk.

“While I have never operated such a vehicle before, James, I am aware of how it is done and will be able to replicate the process,” Spock explained.

“Jim.”

Spock blinked.

The human smiled a little but with his bloody lips it appeared rather ghastly. “I prefer to be called Jim. James sounds like I’m in trouble.”

“Then perhaps calling you James is appropriate.”

He winced. “Yeah, maybe. My dad isn’t going to be happy.”

“I imagine not.” Spock took the key that had been handed over to him and started the automobile. Pike had taken Sam Kirk with him on the hover bike and it had been left to Spock to get the younger Kirk home.

“So, you’re what? A Vulcan?”

“I am.” He was actually only half Vulcan, the other half being human, but it was not information the young Kirk needed at that time.

“I’ve never seen one in person before. Only on my computer.” He winced again. “Sorry, that sounds rude.”

“I am not offended.”

“That’s good.” Kirk looked him over. “I, uh, got blood on you.”

Spock looked down at his black shirt. “I am aware of that.”

“Uh, sorry. You want me to drive?”

“I do not. You likely have a concussion. It would have been wise not to refuse going to the hospital.”

“My dad would have flipped his lid.”

Spock frowned. “Flipped his lid?”

“It’s an expression. Basically, he would have been mad.”

“If you are injured—”

“I’m not,” Jim interrupted. “Or well, not really. It just hurts a little.”

“What does?”

“Everything really.”

“If you are in pain—”

“It’s not that bad, Mr. Spock.” But Jim closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the seat cushion. “Are you in Starfleet?”

“Affirmative.”

Jim sighed. “Must be nice.”

Spock was aware of this particular Kirk’s test results. In fact, it was why he and Pike had come to Riverside. But it was Pike’s place to discuss the matter with Jim Kirk and his father. Spock had merely accompanied his superior.

“What caused the Gorn to assault you?” Spock asked.

Jim opened one very blue eye. “A Gorn? Is that what he was? I’ve heard of them, but I didn’t think they got all the way out here.”

“Yes, he was a Gorn.”

The eye shut again. “I ran into him and he didn’t care for my apology.”

“You should not have been in that area, James. It was an establishment not suitable for one of your age.”

“Give me a break, Spock. How old are you, anyway?”

Spock maneuvered the automobile up the long drive leading into the Kirk farmhouse. “I fail to see what my biological age has to do with your being of an illegal age to go to such an establishment.”

“How old are you?” Jim asked again.

“Nineteen years, nine months, and twenty three days.”

Both of Jim’s eyes opened and the bloody grin was back. “What? No hours?”

“I was born at—”

“I’m kidding.” He held up his hand. “Oh, fuck, we’re here.”

“Correct.”

“Couldn’t you just drive around Riverside for a while?”

“That would be illogical.” Spock undid his seatbelt. “Come, Mr. Kirk.”

“Jim.”

Spock arched a brow. “Come, Mr. Kirk.”

They got out of the automobile and Spock locked it. As they walked to the front door he noted that Jim’s movements were slow. He was not certain if that was owing to his injuries or his reluctance to face the wrath of George Kirk.

Spock held the door open for Jim to precede him inside the farmhouse. For a moment those startling blue eyes focused intently on Spock. If it were a staring contest, Spock blinked first. There was something about those eyes, even though already the skin underneath them was showing bruises.

Finally, Jim looked away and continued inside the house. A man, likely in his early forties, immediately stepped up to Jim. He was very tall and muscular with similar blond hair and blue eyes so Spock knew he must be George Kirk.

Kirk grabbed his son’s arms. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine, Dad. Where’s Sam?”

“He’s resting in his room.” Kirk frowned. “Go get cleaned up and then come back out here.”

Jim licked his lips, nodded, and then disappeared up a staircase.

George Kirk turned to Spock. “You must be Mr. Spock. I’m George Kirk. Thank you for rescuing my boys.”

“You are welcome, Mr. Kirk.”

“You may as well call me George,” he said wearily. “I’ll get rooms set up for you and Chris.”

Pike, who had been standing by silently, watching, smiled. “I asked George if we could stay here for a few days. Talk about old times.”

Spock had no old times to discuss, but he was aware Pike had been friends with George Kirk during their years of service in Starfleet. Pike had known Winona Kirk before her death as well. He anticipated this was a strategy for speaking with George about his son, Jim’s future.

“You want coffee or something?” George asked, glancing toward the kitchen.

“I’ll make us some, George,” Pike said.

George nodded. “Okay. I’ll go get those rooms set up. Be right back.”

Spock watched George go up the same staircase as Jim had, and then he followed Pike into the kitchen.

“You have your tea with you, don’t you, Spock?” Pike asked.

“Yes.” Spock gave him a teabag.

“What do you think of the Kirks?”

“They are trouble.”

Pike laughed. “Yeah, I guess they are. But I gotta say, I’d always want them on _my_ side. And trust me, Spock, you’ll feel that way too.”


	3. Visitors

Jim finished taking a shower and stood before the mirror to survey the damage done to his face. He was really lucky the Gorn hadn’t broken his nose. He sure had a couple of black eyes though. And some bruises on his jaw.

He stepped back a little to note a large purple bruise near his ribcage. Those seemed to be the last of his bruises, but he ached all over and he had a killer headache.

Jim went to his closet and pulled out a blue T-shirt he was pretty sure brought out the blue of his eyes even more than usual. Not that he was trying to get anyone’s attention. No, definitely not.

After pulling on jeans, he was finished dressing, and he couldn’t really delay going down to face his dad any longer. Well, actually, maybe he could. He went down the hall to Sam’s room and knocked lightly in case Sam was asleep.

“Yeah?”

Jim opened the door and peeked in, mindful of the possibility Aurelan was with his brother. But Sam was alone so Jim came into the room and closed the door behind him.

“Hey.”

Sam was sitting up in bed, looking slightly dazed and battered, but otherwise in one piece. “How are you, kiddo?”

“I’m fine. A little sore. You?” Jim went and sat on the edge of Sam’s bed.

“About the same.”

Jim bit his lip. “I’m really sorry you got hurt. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Sam sighed. “You never mean for it to happen, but you always seem to find yourself in trouble.”

“I’m so bored here all the time. I can’t stand just sitting around.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Sam shook his head. “I’d take you with Aurelan and me when we go to Chicago, but I doubt Dad’s gonna allow that with you being a minor still.”

“Can’t you two hang around here for a couple more years until I’m eighteen?”

“I don’t know. Aurelan and I have a lot to talk about, kiddo. I worry about you if we leave you here alone with Dad. That alien would have killed you tonight if I hadn’t followed you. Not to mention that Pike guy and the Vulcan.”

“Spock.”

Sam smirked. “Yeah, him. They saved us both. We would have been seriously hurt or worse if it wasn’t for them. Did you really want to end up dead on your sixteenth birthday?”

“No. I just had to get away from the house. I’m sorry, Sammy.”

Sam reached over and ruffled Jim’s hair. “I know you are, kiddo. You better go talk to Dad. He was pretty mad.”

“I know, that’s why I’m up here talking to you.” Jim sighed and rose from the edge of the bed. “See you in the morning.”

“Night, Jim.”

Knowing he couldn’t delay it any longer, Jim went down the stairs to the living room to find it empty. Then he realized they were all in the kitchen.

His dad noticed him immediately of course. “Want coffee?”

“Uh, yeah, thanks.”

Leaning against the counter next to the coffeepot was the man who had identified himself as Christopher Pike. He held a mug of coffee in his hand and appeared casual, comfortable. Though Jim suspected Pike knew his dad from Starfleet, Pike was not dressed in a Starfleet uniform, but rather wore blue jeans, a gray T-shirt, and a brown leather jacket. His lips were curved into a smile.

Standing next to him was Spock. The Vulcan was not leaning on the counter but rather stood ramrod straight with perfect posture. He, too, held a mug in his hand but it smelled sort of like a spiced tea rather than the coffee his dad and Pike were drinking. Spock wore all black. A black shirt, black jeans, black boots, and a black leather jacket. Even his dark eyes appeared almost black. He was ridiculously hot, actually. Probably the best looking guy Jim had ever seen. He was not smiling. In fact, his face was expressionless.

Jim’s dad handed him a mug of coffee made with just cream the way Jim liked it.

“Well, you don’t look to be in as bad a shape as I thought when I first saw you,” Pike commented.

“Thanks. Thanks for that. For saving me. Both of you.” He rubbed the back of his neck. Spock was staring at Jim and he wasn’t sure if it was a good stare or a bad stare.

“Just what the hell did you think you were doing there anyway?” his dad demanded, glaring at him.

Jim felt himself blush. “Well, I, uh, just wanted to do something fun.”

“Something fun?” His dad snorted. “Was that fun for you, James?”

He winced at the James. “Not especially.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet. Didn’t I give you a good birthday? Made you your favorite dinner, made you a cake. Gave you presents. And what do I get in return? Both my sons creamed by some alien.”

“A Gorn.”

His dad growled. “I don’t care if it was a fucking Gorn. The point was you shouldn’t have been an ungrateful brat who stole his dad’s car to go get drunk at a fucking bar he had no business being at in the first place.”

Jim hated being yelled at and he hated being yelled at in front of people even more. And these two were strangers. His humiliation was complete.

“And don’t think I don’t know this isn’t the first time you’ve gone to that place,” his dad continued, apparently uncaring of Jim’s embarrassment. “You’re fucking grounded for a week.”

Jim gritted his teeth to keep from arguing, because really, he wanted to. But in front of Pike and Spock, it would not be wise. Instead, he nodded. “Okay.”

“Damn straight it’s okay.” His dad took a swallow of his coffee. “You want more?”

“I haven’t finished this, so no thanks.”

“You want something to eat?”

“No, Dad. Thanks.”

His dad hugged him. It was brief, but it was a hug. “Stop worrying me all the time.”

Jim swallowed. “Sorry.”

“How about you two?” his dad asked, finally turning his attention away from Jim. “You want something to eat? There’s leftover hamburgers.”

“No thanks, and Spock’s a vegetarian,” Pike said.

“Oh, yeah, right. I forgot about that with Vulcans. I could make you a salad.”

Spock shook his head. “Your offer of sustenance is appreciated but unnecessary at present, Mr. Kirk.”

“Okay.” Jim’s dad shrugged. “How long are you two planning on staying? Not that I’m complaining. It’s nice to have company. I’m sure the boys are sick of me.”

Pike smiled. “Oh, you know, a few days. Starfleet business. I hope you don’t mind, George. We could stay at a hotel if it’s too much trouble.”

“They’re staying here?” Jim asked, his heart rate kicking up at the thought of Spock being in his house…like all the time.

His dad looked at him. “Yeah, you got a problem with that, Jimbo?”

Ah, hell, not that embarrassing nickname.

“No, no. Just wondered.”

“Good. See, no problem,” his dad said to Pike. “So no more talk of hotels.” He yawned. “I’m sorry to do this to you, but I have to get up early for work. Mind if I go to bed?”

“No, go on, George. Spock and I don’t need to be entertained.” Pike smiled. “Besides, maybe Jim will stay up for a while and talk to us if he doesn’t mind.”

Go to bed to lay awake for hours or talk to two guys from Starfleet, one of which was a sexy Vulcan?

“Yeah, I can stay up. Go on, Dad.” Jim gave his dad his best smile.

“Great. Good night, everyone. Jim, I put Chris in the spare room two doors down from me and Spock in the room next to yours, okay?”

“Got it, Dad.”

Jim turned to Pike and Spock when his dad had left. Spock hadn’t said much but he also hadn’t stopped staring rather intently at Jim. He had this totally smoldering sexiness about him that Jim was sure was gonna drive him crazy.

“You, uh, want to go sit in the living room?”

“Sounds good, Jim,” Pike said. “There’s something we’d like to talk to you about.” 


	4. Summer Program

Spock fixed himself a second cup of spiced tea and then placed himself on the couch directly next to Jim Kirk. Pike sat in a chair across from them. Spock quickly realized that Jim never sat still. His left foot tapped. His fingers were constantly in motion. He had a vibrant energy.

“Jim, I’ll get straight to the point,” Pike said, leaning forward. “We’re aware of your test results.”

“My test results?”

“Spock and I are here in Riverside because of you, Jim.” Pike smiled. “Well, I had some business at the shipyard, too. But the main reason we’re here is for you.”

Jim frowned. “For me? I’m not sure I understand.”

“Test results like yours don’t come around every day, Jim.” Pike laughed. “They don’t come around at all. Starfleet is very interested in you.”

Jim’s glance flicked over to Spock’s direction but Spock couldn’t read the look in the younger man’s eyes. Before Spock could spend more time analyzing it, Jim had turned back to look at Pike.

He shook his head. “I appreciate it, but it won’t happen.”

“Why not?” Pike asked.

“Dad won’t allow it. Not now anyway.”

“Why will your father not allow it?” Spock asked.

“Dad hates Starfleet.”

“That is illogical.”

Jim snorted. “I never said my dad was logical.”

“Since George Kirk was an officer in Starfleet, I fail to understand his hatred as you state,” Spock said.

The blue eyes turned to gaze at him again. “He hates Starfleet now. He didn’t always hate it. He blames it for my mom’s death.”

“Your mother was aware when she enlisted in Starfleet of the risks. As was your father. It is illogical to—”

“Spock,” Pike interrupted, holding up his hand to indicate Spock should cease. He smiled kindly at Jim. “I knew your mom, too. The three of us were all at the academy together. We were good friends.”

Jim nodded. “Yeah. I don’t really remember her much but it’s been hard on my dad.”

“If you did not intend to join Starfleet, why did you take the tests?” Spock wondered.

“I’m not particularly logical either, Spock. Look, I do want to join Starfleet. That’s my dream. That’s why I took the tests. I wanted to see how I would do.”

“I actually suspected your dad could be a problem given what happened to your mom.”

Spock looked at Pike sharply. His commanding officer had not shared this with him. Pike had believed that George Kirk might be difficult, but he’d never explained to Spock the reason. He was, of course, aware of Winona Kirk’s death on the USS Constellation. Spock had studied all of the Kirks, but he had been most fascinated by Jim. Or rather Jim’s mind.

“Which is why we came here after I saw the results. I’m hoping between Spock and myself we can talk your dad into changing his mind.”

Jim laughed but it was without mirth. “Good luck with that. I’ve been trying to talk to him for years. Sam, too.”

“The reason we’re here now is there is an advanced summer program we’d like you to enroll in,” Pike explained. “Specific for command students.”

Jim leaned forward, his left foot sill tapping. “Command? Me?”

Pike smiled. “Isn’t that what you want, Jim?”

“Well, yeah. Yeah. Definitely.”

“Okay, then. It’s been a long day for all of us, I think. You should go to bed, Jim. We all will. We’ll be here a few days, we’ll see what we can do about your dad. There’s still the option of you joining later on your own.”

****

There was a knock at Spock’s door. Expecting to see Pike there, he was surprised when instead it was Jim.

“Hey.” Jim smiled and Spock could not deny it was particularly aesthetically pleasing. “I thought I’d bring you towels for the morning. You know, if you want to have a shower or something.”

Spock glanced down to see Jim holding fluffy white towels in his arms. He held the door open and Jim stepped inside the room.

“Your room okay?”

“I have no cause for complaint.”

Jim scrunched up his face. “Are you sure? Seems a little cold in here. You want another blanket?” He moved to set the towels on the dresser, and then stopped as he stared at the incense Spock had already begun to set up prior to Jim’s knock at his door. “What’s this stuff?”

“I use those for meditation.” Jim reached over and started feeling it. Spock came over to the dresser, trying to take them out of Jim’s grasp. “I ask that you do not touch.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Jim turned his hand over to allow Spock to retrieve the incense pot, but just as Spock went to take it, Jim’s hand changed positions until two of his fingers extended to meet Spock’s.

Spock felt an immediate jolt of warmth and the tantalizing brilliance of Jim’s mind. He quickly withdrew his fingers and the incense pot clanged noisily on the dresser.

Jim stared at him, blue eyes wide, lips parted. “What was that?”

He blinked. “To what do you refer?”

Jim licked his lips. “Look, I kissed you and then—”

Spock narrowed his eyes. “You are aware of the Vulcan kiss?”

The younger man reddened. “Well, sure. Uh. I’ve, you know, studied other species.”

“Then you also know it was not proper for you to initiate such an intimate exchange.”

Jim shrugged. “Well, you know, you’re hot.”

“The temperature of this room—”

“No, but you are funny. I mean, you know, sexy.”

“Sexy?”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Physically appealing. I’ve never met anyone like you, Spock.”

Spock swallowed, feeling his own cheeks heat with color. “I have never been acquainted with anyone quite like you either.”

“So, are you going to tell me what that was when we touched? It was like…I don’t know. For a minute I swear I could feel you in my head.”

Spock could feel Jim, too. He would definitely need to consider the matter further and likely speak to his father about it.

“I require further study to be able to determine what we experienced.”

Jim smiled mischievously. “Is that your way of saying you wanna kiss again, Spock?”

He arched a brow. “It most certainly is not.”

“No? Too bad.”

“You spoke of acquiring me an additional blanket.”

Jim sighed. “Yeah, yeah. Okay. Be right back.”

Spock inhaled and then exhaled while Jim was out of the room for one point three minutes. He returned with a blue blanket which he set on the edge of the bed.

“Are you sure there isn’t something else you want, Spock?” Jim asked, tracing his lips with his tongue. Spock watched the movement with fascination. “Maybe we could try out human kissing to see if we can get the same reaction.”

“James—”

“Oh, shit, are we back to James? I told you it sounds like I’m in trouble.”

“Indeed. Goodnight, James.”

Jim grimaced. “Fine. Goodnight, Spock. See you in the morning.”

Spock turned to his PADD. His father would likely still be awake.

 

 


	5. Trouble for Both of Them

Jim never slept for long and he generally was up long before his dad or Sam. Most mornings he watched the sun rise.

So when he stumbled into the kitchen to make himself some coffee, he was surprised to notice he had not been the first one up that morning. Frowning, he finished preparing his coffee and then went outside.

“Spock?”

Spock turned to face Jim. Wearing the same black clothes from the night before, Spock had been standing very still, looking out over the fields. “Good morning, Jim.”

“You’re up early.”

He tilted his head. “I had noticed the same about you.”

“Yeah, I’m a light sleeper. Everything wakes me up.”

“I apologize if I disturbed your slumber.”

Jim smiled. “I doubt it was you.” He looked out over the field where Spock had been gazing. “Kind of boring, huh?”

“I find it not unpleasant.”

“Do all Vulcans talk like you?”

Spock arched a brow. “How do I speak?”

“Well, like just then, instead of saying, yeah, it’s not ugly or whatever, you said it is not unpleasant.” Jim shook his head and patted Spock’s arm. “Don’t get all offended or anything. I think it’s cool.”

“It is indeed cool out here but I am not offended.”

Jim laughed. “No, Spock. When I say it’s cool I don’t mean the temperature.”

“To what do you refer then?”

“You know, it’s like awesome or it’s okay. It depends on the context. Like just now I was saying it was okay that you talk all snooty. But sometimes I might say, Oh my God, that is so cool, and that means it’s awesome.”

“I see.”

Spock said nothing else but Jim figured in spite of him saying he was not offended that maybe Spock was a little offended.

“You, uh, wanna go back inside where it’s warm? You got any more tea with you? We could make you some.”

“I would be amenable to that.”

“Cool. I mean, great. Let’s go.”

Spock followed Jim back into the farmhouse. It was still silent so he knew he and Spock were the only ones awake. He went into the kitchen to heat water for Spock’s tea.

“How did you sleep?”

“It was adequate. The additional blanket was helpful.”

“You need another one for tonight? I know it gets pretty cold here at night sometimes.” Jim grinned. “Or…we could share body heat.”

“Body heat?”

Jim stepped closer to Spock until they were barely inches apart. “Yeah, you know, maybe I could come into your room and snuggle with you.”

Spock looked down at Jim, his brown eyes unreadable. “I think not.”

“Oh.” Jim deflated. Of course. What had he been thinking? Yeah, he had kissed Spock last night. Well Vulcan kissed. But he didn’t even know if Spock liked guys. Or even humans. “I’ll just give you another blanket then.”

“I would appreciate it,” Spock said coolly. He handed a tea bag to Jim. “Do you attend school?”

Jim shrugged. “More or less.”

“I do not understand.”

“Sometimes I go and sometimes I don’t.”

“You skip your lessons?”

“Sure do. And I’m not particularly sorry either. I know all that shit anyway.”

“While I am fairly certain that you do know most of it, I still believe you would benefit from attending your courses.”

“Like I said, I sometimes go.”

Spock took the teacup Jim handed him and narrowed his eyes. “Do you have class today?”

“Yep.”

“And are you anticipating attending?”

“I haven’t decided.” Jim smiled. “Maybe you should try to persuade me.”

“I am attempting to do so.”

“Yeah, I mean, with like a kiss or something. I really liked that kiss last night. We could try it again. Or maybe we could try that human kiss.”

“James.”

“That’s really hot by the way.”

“To what—”

“ _Arousing_. When you say my name like that all deep and hoarse and disapproving.” Jim stepped into Spock’s personal space and, he was surprised and really happy, Spock didn’t step back.

“You believe the way I speak your name is a sexual innuendo?”

“Oh, God, say sexual again. Jeez.”

“Jim—”

Jim bit his lip. “I’m making you uncomfortable, aren’t I? Is it because you’re straight?”

Spock blinked. “I—I find you aesthetically pleasing.”

“Oh thank God,” Jim said, his relieved breath fanning across Spock’s face. “Do you wanna kiss me?”

“It would not be appropriate to do so.”

Now it was Jim’s turn to blink. “What? Why not? I like you, you like me.”

“You are a potential Starfleet cadet. I am an instructor at the Academy.”

“Really? Wow. I didn’t know that.”

“Affirmative. You are also sixteen years old.”

“So? You aren’t that much older than I am. Which, by the way, the fact you are already an instructor is just awesome.”

“The point is, Jim, any sort of amorous relationship between us at this point is not appropriate or permissible.”

Jim felt his stomach drop, but he backed away from Spock. “Oh.” He shook his head. “You’re right. I should get ready for school. I’ll see you later, Spock.”

And without giving the Vulcan a chance to further reject him, Jim went up the stairs to his room.

****

“Come on, Jimmy, kiss me,” Louellen pleaded with him, flinging her arms around his neck. She tucked her blonde hair behind her ear and leaned in to kiss his jaw.

School had officially ended hours ago. Not that Jim had actually gone to school. Fuck that. Instead he’d spent all day in the next town over with his friends. They’d returned to Riverside and now he was hanging out behind one of the warehouses with Louellen and a couple of other friends.

“Lou, stop getting all octopussy on me. You know I hate you hanging on me,” Jim complained, removing her arms from his neck.

She pouted. “Don’t you wanna screw around?”

Sure he did. But with a certain snooty Vulcan.

Pushing aside such impossible thoughts, he grinned. “Sure, sweetheart.”

“That’s more like it,” she exclaimed, flinging herself at him again and plastering her red lipstick stained lips onto his lips. He let himself be pulled down to the ground, where they’d earlier laid down a blanket.

It wasn’t like this was their first time. Lou was even calling herself Jim’s girl and he guessed she was. But all he could think about was Spock. And how Spock didn’t want him. Lou did, though, and Lou was pretty. He closed his eyes and gave into the need to block all thoughts from Spock.

When it was over, Lou got dressed, kissed him, and went home. Jim got dressed but he didn’t want to go home. What waited for him there? Pike and Spock and a dream to be in Starfleet that wasn’t going to come true for Jim for at least another couple of years. His dad wasn’t going to go for it and Pike and Spock were wasting their time.

His other friends that had been hanging out with him and Lou had also left leaving Jim by himself behind the warehouse in the dark. He didn’t remember it getting dark, figured it must have done so when he was fucking around with Lou. He pulled out his little communicator that his family used and saw that his dad and Sam had tried to reach him several times.

 _Great_.

Jim struggled up from the ground and folded up the blanket. His dad was going to yell again. And probably in front of Pike and Spock. If they were even still around. For all he knew his dad might have already gotten rid of them by telling them there was no fucking way his son was joining Starfleet.

But instead of heading home like Jim knew he should, Jim went to the bar he wanted to go to the night before. This time there wasn’t a big line or tons of people hanging out and he got inside easily with his fake ID. Not that he figured they really cared. They had to know he was sixteen. Probably knew exactly who he was and who his father was.

Jim ordered a whiskey neat and turned around on his chair to survey the crowd. He was about to turn back around when the door of the bar opened and in walked a familiar Vulcan.

“Ah, hell.”

Spock came straight to where Jim sat. “You did not go to school.”

“Nope.”

“Your face is also covered in lipstick.”

He shrugged. “What of it?”

The Vulcan reached over and took the glass of whiskey from his hand and slammed it on the bar.

“Hey!”

“Unless you wish for me to make more of a scene, I suggest you accompany me outside to the hover bike.”

Jim’s jaw tightened. “Fine. I need to pay for that though.”

Spock got the bartender’s attention and paid for Jim’s drink himself. They then went outside neither of them speaking.

“Did my dad send you to get me?”

“Everyone was concerned for you,” Spock said. “The fact that you behave like this is every indication that you are not mature enough for the Academy or anything else.”

And Jim knew _exactly_ what that ‘anything else’ referred to and it stung. Damn, but it stung.

“Yeah, well, fuck you, Spock,” Jim said, sounding every bit as immature as Spock just accused him of sounding and he didn’t care. “I never asked you to come here. I could have told you I was a waste of your time.”

He went to move away, the opposite direction of where Spock’s hover bike waited, but Spock grabbed his wrist, his long fingers curving over Jim’s skin and a jolting warmth flowed through him at the contact point and everywhere inside him. There was a rainbow of colors and brilliance of light and all these connected threads in his mind.

Spock let go of his wrist like it had scalded him.

Jim took a step back. There couldn’t be any denying something weird happened when they touched now. “What was that?”

The Vulcan swallowed. “Trouble for both of us.”


	6. Finding His T'hy'la

Spock went to the room he’d been given the minute he had brought Jim back to the farmhouse. Though Jim had questioned him on the journey to Jim’s home, Spock had advised him he had no answers. Yet.

It was not entirely true but Spock did not consider it a lie either. He brought out his PADD and contacted his father. His father appeared a few moments later. Spock would have preferred a terminal instead of the small PADD, but he had to make due in Iowa.

“Spock, I am surprised to find you contacting me again so soon. Is your trip to Iowa not going as planned?”

“I spoke to you last night of my belief regarding James Kirk.”

Sarek nodded. “You believed from your contact with him that you might be a Telsu pair. You have further evidence?”

“Yes, Father.” And Spock explained to his father what had happened when he grabbed Jim’s wrist.

“I see. I believe it is no accident that Captain Pike brought you to Iowa to seek out James Kirk. You were meant to discover your T’hy’la.”

Spock paused, letting the words sink in. “Then you do believe Jim and I are T’hy’la.”

“Affirmative. He has agreed to come to San Francisco?”

“His father does not wish to allow it. He blames Starfleet for the death of his wife.” Spock hesitated. “Jim acts irresponsibly and endangers his own welfare. But George Kirk and his son Sam seem unable to stop Jim from this destructive behavior. I am reluctant to leave him here long without better supervision.”

“Then we must convince George Kirk.”

****

Spock found only Pike and Sam downstairs when he finished talking with his father. They were sitting at the dining room table drinking coffee, so Spock made himself tea after greeting them and joined them at the table.

“Thanks for going after my brother,” Sam said. “I know it might not seem like it from what you’ve experienced, but he is a good kid.”

Spock believed that Jim, undoubtedly exceptionally intelligent, found a place like Riverside unstimulating and that was likely the reason for his rebellion, but he merely nodded and took a sip of his tea.

A noise on the stairs had them all turning to see George Kirk coming down the stairs with Jim following behind him. Spock studied Jim for signs of physical abuse for he would not tolerate his bondmate being abused even by his father. Jim’s eyes were downcast but he didn’t appear to have been struck.

“I apologize for my actions,” Jim said stiffly when he had reached the table. He kept his gaze downcast rather than looking at either Pike or Spock. “Excuse me, but I have some chores to do outside before supper.”

Jim went outside and after a moment, Sam followed him. Spock had wanted to go check on Jim himself, but given only Spock knew of their bond at this point he allowed that it was more appropriate for Sam.

“Have you considered what I’ve said, George?” Pike asked as George poured himself a cup of coffee. “If you’re looking for Jim to have more discipline, then I believe Starfleet would be the answer.”

“Sure and then his recklessness will get him killed in the first action he sees,” George said. “Klingons, Romulans, and any of number of other hostile nations are out there ready to take on the Federation.”

Pike sighed. “He almost got himself killed right here in Riverside the other night. Keeping him from his dreams of Starfleet won’t keep him from getting killed, George. We can prepare him, take care of some of that recklessness.”

“How?” George snorted. “A summer program in San Francisco? In some dormitory where there’s no one to watch him?”

“If I may, Mr. Kirk,” Spock spoke up with a quick glance at Pike. He had not had a chance to discuss this with his superior but now seemed a good time to bring it up. “I believe you will find a communication addressed to you from my father, Ambassador Sarek of Vulcan. He has agreed, with your permission, to have Jim stay with our family while in San Francisco. I am certain you would find the accommodations adequate and the security of knowing Jim is under the supervision of my father, my mother, and myself comforting.”

Pike smiled in approval at Spock. “There you see. A perfect solution. If you or Jim don’t like the idea of him enlisting in Starfleet beyond the summer program, then he comes back here to Riverside with nothing changed. He won’t see action in the summer program, George.”

George grimaced. “Stay with Vulcans, huh? Let me give it some thought. I’ll let you know tomorrow. I’m sure you’re anxious to get back.”

“Actually,” Pike said with an easy smile. “It’s been a pleasure.” He stood. “Why don’t I help you make supper?”

****

Spock knew even before the knock sounded softly at his door that Jim was coming to see him. He’d mostly shielded the bond as his father had suggested, at least until Jim would be ready to know everything, but he could not help but allow a tiny bit of it to bleed through. He felt comfort from it.

Having been unwelcome as both a Vulcan and a human most of his life, Spock had expected he would not find a bondmate. His parents had not bonded him as a child due to his problematic mixed heritage. To learn that he was not only wrong about never finding a mate but to also find him when both of them were still young and to be Telsu had been…gratifying.

He opened the door to Jim who stood holding another blanket. This one a mahogany color.

Jim’s smile was hesitant. “I thought you might want that other blanket.”

“Come in.” Spock stepped aside to let him enter.

Jim walked in and set the blanket on the edge of the bed. He turned to face Spock then. “Look, I’m sorry about earlier. Not my best behavior. So you know, if you could just forget that ever happened, I would appreciate it.”

Spock inclined his head. “Your apology is unnecessary.”

Jim laughed. “Yeah tell that to my dad.”

“You have already apologized so now it is redundant.”

“Yeah, yeah I guess it is.” He stared at Spock, his blue eyes intense. “Still I shouldn’t have been a dick to you, Spock. I-I kind of like you.”

“That is gratifying to hear.” He paused, watching Jim. “You are unharmed?”

“Unharmed?” Jim frowned. “Oh. You mean my dad? No. Never. He doesn’t get physical.”

“I am glad.”

“He’s more the ‘I’m so disappointed in you’ kind of thing. Makes you feel like you’re about two feet tall for screwing up. Again.” Jim sighed, ran his hand over his hair. “My dad…he really tries. And I guess maybe I should try harder too.”

Spock believed Jim should indeed try harder to behave properly, so he did not dispute Jim’s words. “You should get some rest, Jim.”

“Yeah, okay.” Jim smiled and took a step. “You think maybe you could give me a goodnight kiss?”

“A goodnight kiss?”

“Yeah, if you don’t want it to be a human kiss, that’s okay. But maybe we could do it your way. Once more.”

Jim held out two fingers toward Spock and he could not resist the pull of his bondmate. Spock met those fingers and this time the spark of awareness was just a small vibration. He felt it but Jim didn’t seem to notice. Having the shields in place helped.

But Jim grinned. “That’s really nice. I still prefer human kissing, but that’s not so bad. Maybe we can try the human way eventually.”

“Jim—”

Jim rolled his eyes and walked to the bedroom door. “Yeah, I know. Inappropriate. But I don’t know, Spock. I kind of like the idea of being inappropriate with you. Night.”

“Goodnight, Jim.”


	7. Getting Possessive

When Jim went downstairs the next morning he spotted Spock in the kitchen right away. He shouldn’t be surprised, of course, since Spock had been up before him the morning before, too. But he did feel a flair of excitement.

Spock wore black again. This time black leather pants, black boots and a black sweater. He already had a cup of tea in his hands when Jim stepped into the kitchen.

“Hey, good morning.”

Spock inclined his head. “Good morning.”

Jim went to the coffee maker and started making coffee. It was this thing of his dad to have an old fashioned coffee maker that brewed it fresh rather than have it replicated. Jim had picked up on the habit of fresh brewed coffee himself.

“I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, Spock, but do you ever sleep?”

“As a Vulcan I do not require as much restorative sleep as humans do, however, I do indeed sleep.”

Jim nodded. “Okay. But I swear I’m a pretty early riser and you always beat me.”

“Beat you?”

He rolled his eyes. “You get up even earlier than I do.”

“Perhaps. But you do not seem to require a lot of sleep yourself. You were up quite late last night and then are up now before the sun.”

“Yeah I—wait. How did you know how late I was up last night?” Jim frowned and got a mug out of the cabinet. “Did I keep you awake?”

“In a manner of speaking. I was aware of your restlessness.” Spock took a sip of his tea but did not explain further.

“Well, sorry, I guess. I had no idea I made that much noise.” He poured the coffee in the mug and then went to the refrigerator and took out cream.

“You did not,” Spock said. “I will take you to school today.”

Jim laughed. “What? I don’t think so.”

“I will also pick you up when your courses have concluded for the day.”

“Look, Spock, I, uh, sort of appreciate your concern, I guess, but it’s misguided. And I don’t need a babysitter.”

“It would appear that you do,” Spock said coolly. “And I am giving you no choice.”

“No choice?” Jim blinked. “What? I don’t know who you think you are but—”

Spock suddenly stepped close, definitely in Jim’s personal space, and he pressed his fingertips to Jim’s face. It soothed him instantly, took away his agitation.

Jim stared at him, his mouth gaping open. “What is that? Why is it I feel weird every time you touch me?”

“Vulcans are touch telepaths.” His fingers dropped from Jim’s face.

“So it’s something you’re doing to my mind?” Jim backed away from Spock.

“Do you find it unpleasant?”

“No. I—no. It’s nice. Just confusing.”

“Eventually there will be more clarity,” Spock told him.

“Well, that’s certainly cryptic.”

Spock nodded. “Acknowledged. You should get ready for school, Jim.”

“You know I could just take off after you drop me off,” Jim said mutinously. “And you’d never know.”

“Would I not?” His dark eyes were intense and there was a knowing glint in them Jim couldn’t quite understand.

“Uh.” He licked his lips and backed up another step. “Anyway, I guess I’ll just go get ready for school.”

“That would be wise.”

****

Jim should not have been surprised that Spock was waiting for him at the end of the school day. But he’d been used to a certain anonymity in life. Oh his dad cared, Sam cared, but Jim always seemed to have the freedom to get himself in trouble without anyone ever really caring to stop him. A shrink would probably say that Jim kept getting himself in more and more dangerous situations just to see if anyone gave a shit.

He was being unfair to Sam a little, because Sam had come to his rescue when the Gorn wanted to smash him to bits. But that was a rare thing, not a common one.

But he should have realized Spock would be different than anyone he’d ever known in every way there was to be different. Spock was there, waiting, next to his supercool hover bike. Dressed in black as he had been when he dropped Jim off but this time he’d added the beat up black leather jacket.

It was unfair that anyone got to be that hot. Because Spock was scorching hot. Fucking gorgeous.

Jim felt a smile pull at his lips as he was about to head for Spock. And then Louellen was grabbing his arm and pulling him.

“Jimmy! I can’t believe you came to school today,” she said, squealing in his ear. “A bunch of us are going to go into downtown. Say you’ll come.”

Jim removed her hand from his arm. “Lou, I said before, no hanging on to me.”

She pouted. “Come on. You’re my boyfriend, aren’t you?”

Sort of. He supposed. But he didn’t want to be her boyfriend. He wanted to be—

“Spock!”

Spock was there standing in front of him and Louellen. There was something almost…sinister in the way his dark eyes settled on Louellen. And she seemed to realize it too because she took a step back.

“Who or what is that?” she whispered.

“This is Spock. He’s my…friend. And actually, I was about to tell you I can’t go into town with you. I’m going with Spock.”

Louellen stared at Spock. “Does he know I’m your girl?”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Lou, it’s not like that. Now will you just-just go away?” He winced. It sounded mean even to him. Her pout had gotten more pronounced and he wondered really what he had ever seen in her. “I’ll see you later.”

“Jimmy,” she whined.

“See you, Lou,” he said more firmly.

She glared daggers at Spock before turning her icy stare at Jim. “Fine. But you’re gonna regret this.”

Jim turned to Spock and offered him a tentative smile. The Vulcan had remained quiet but intimidating during his exchange with Lou. “Hi. Sorry about that.”

“You have engaged in coitus with her.”

“What?” He blinked. Felt himself burn hot with embarrassment. “Well, uh, I…maybe.”

“You do not appear to find her character pleasing,” Spock said.

“Lou? She’s all right. Shall we go?” Jim asked, desperate to change the subject.

Spock nodded. “As you wish.”

They went to the hover bike and took the short trip to his dad’s farm. As he had done that morning, Spock drove very fast. It seemed like an interesting thing for a Vulcan to do.

Spock pulled the hover bike into the barn and they got off. Jim handed the helmet he’d been wearing to Spock.

“Thanks for the ride. But really, you didn’t have to take me and pick me up like that,” Jim said.

“Would you have gone to school otherwise?”

“Probably not.”

“I surmised as much. Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“If you do not find the human female, Louellen, likeable why did you engage in coitus with her?”

“Ah geez.” Jim bit his lip. “Okay. Um. Okay. She’s pretty, you know? And she likes me. Not everyone does. And sometimes it’s nice having someone really like you.”

Spock stepped close to Jim. Very close. Jim’s breath caught in his throat. “I would prefer if you did not repeat this activity.”

He swallowed. “No?”

“I like you, Jim. It is not necessary to engage in frivolous sexual acts to get someone to appreciate you.”

“Yeah, I-I guess.”

This close he could feel Spock’s body heat and damn if he wasn’t sexier up close. He could smell the leather. He could smell something spicy too. Intoxicating.

Spock’s head dipped until their mouths were so close he could feel Spock’s breath against his face. “You spoke of human kissing.”

Jim licked his dry lips. “I did. I definitely did.”

The Vulcan tilted his head and then touched his fingers to Jim’s lips. “Perhaps we will try that someday.”

And then he moved away from Jim and walked out of the barn.

Jim stared after him. His lungs burned from holding his breath. “Fuck me.”

 

 


	8. George's Answer

When Spock reentered the farmhouse, George Kirk was sitting at the dining room table with a cup of coffee in front of him.

“Why don’t you have a seat, Spock?” George gestured to a chair across from him. “You want something to drink first?”

“That is not necessary.” Spock took the seat and waited.

“Look, I know you and Chris probably thought you’d convinced me to let Jim go to your summer program, but I’ve got to be honest with you and say it’s not going to happen.”

“May I inquire as to why?”

“Jim being in Starfleet may be inevitable,” George said with a shrug. “I’d rather it didn’t happen, but eventually Jim will be old enough I won’t be able to stop him. That’s not the case now and so I’m saying no.”

“My father—”

George held up his hand to stop Spock. “Yeah, he contacted me. We talked. He told me my son and his son are connected by some sort of rare, ancient bond. Maybe that’s true as far as you Vulcans are concerned. But Jim is human and he gets to make his own decisions about who he ends up with. If that’s you, Spock, I have nothing to say about that. That’s fine by me. It just needs to be his decision and not some mind control shit.”

“The bond does not work that way, Mr. Kirk,” Spock said stiffly. “And I would never force Jim to do anything.”

“Well, good. I am glad to hear that.”

Spock exhaled slowly and steepled his fingers together. “If I may, Mr. Kirk?”

George’s lips quirked up slightly. “Go ahead.”

“By denying Jim this opportunity—something he does want, I am certain if you asked him he would advise you of this—you are the one forcing him to set aside his dreams. If only temporarily.”

“Well played, Spock,” George said. “But the answer is still no. I must do what I think is best for my son. And right now I don’t think Starfleet is it.”

“Because of your own personal biases.”

“True. But life is made up of choices and each one is influenced by personal biases, Spock. If this bond you have with my son is that powerful and lifelong as your father states, it will certainly wait for another year or so, won’t it?”

Spock did not want to wait, though he had been prepared to wait the few months for Jim to finish the school year in Iowa. Having discovered his mate the draw to him was intense. But there was nothing he could do if Jim’s father remained stubborn. “You are correct.”

George Kirk nodded. “I am glad we understand each other. I’ve spoken to Chris, too. I told him what I told you basically. And no hard feelings.”

“Of course.”

****

“We’ll leave in the morning,” Pike told him later as they stood outside on the back porch of the farmhouse.

They’d gone outside to talk but it was cold and Spock wished he had something a little heavier than his leather jacket.

Spock did not want to return to San Francisco without knowing his mate would eventually be there as well, but he also saw no way to do otherwise. He had duties at the academy and they’d already taken the time off to come to Riverside. Only to fail.

Pike sighed, looking out over the fields. “I know you’re disappointed, Spock.”

“Our arguments seemed well-reasoned.”

“They were. And they almost worked.”

“I am not so certain.”

“I know.” Pike smiled. “That’s because you wanted him to come to San Francisco for the summer. And he’s not.”

He had felt it necessary to inform Pike, his superior at Starfleet, of his new found relationship to Jim. The original plan had been for Spock to have been Jim’s instructor during the summer program. Given he was Spock’s T’hy’la, he knew that Pike would choose another instructor for Jim to avoid any accusations of favoritism.

“No. He is not.”

“He’ll come next year,” Pike said cheerfully but it rang false to Spock as though Pike was as disappointed in their failed outcome as Spock was. He could not be, of course. He was not going to be apart from his bondmate as Spock was.

Spock said nothing. He was having difficulty denying he was disappointed.

“Have you told him?” Pike asked, leaning a hip against the porch railing. “About the bond?”

Spock shook his head. “I believe his father would rather that I not. He wishes for Jim to make his own choices.”

“Not sure that is something you ought to hide from him.”

“I had intended to tell him when he reached my father’s home in preparation for the summer session.” When Spock had believed Jim would more likely than not be coming to San Francisco.

“Spock, George doesn’t know everything. And I think Jim likes you. You might want to consider telling him. If he finds out later, through someone else, that you knew and didn’t tell him—”

“You believe he will become angry.”

“Yeah, he might. I don’t know him well, but from what I have seen of him, yeah he might.” Pike shivered. “Think I’m going back inside where it’s warm.”

“I will be in shortly,” Spock said.

“Take your time. I think Jim’s out here,” Pike said pointedly, then went into the house.

Spock had already prepared his belongings for a morning departure as well as informing his father of the disappointing outcome. Sarek had not been pleased but had accepted George Kirk’s decision as his right as Jim’s father.

He stepped off the porch in search of Jim and went around to the front of the farmhouse where another porch existed. This one was covered. He caught a glimpse of Jim sitting on a couch swing, so he went through the opening and stepped over to the swing.

Jim glanced up and offered him a smile. It looked false to Spock. He wanted to know Jim’s thoughts but didn’t want to intrude on Jim’s mind. And certainly not without his knowledge of their bond.

“Hey. I guess you heard my dad said no,” Jim said.

Spock inclined his head. “May I sit?”

“Sure.”

Spock sat next to him on the swing and found the sensation of moving as Jim kicked his feet a bit disorienting but not entirely unpleasant. “I am aware, of course, of your father’s decision.”

“I knew he would say no. He always does. Fucking asshole.”

“Jim, I would rather you did not speak of your father in this manner.”

Jim hung his head. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry. He’s not an asshole.”

“He believes he is acting in your best interests.” Spock’s fingers lightly brushed over the back of Jim’s neck. He should not, but he could not help but desire the skin contact. “I know that you are disappointed.”

“Yeah, I am. I feel like I’m never gonna get out of Riverside. Not alive anyway.”

Spock was alarmed by such talk but he continued to lightly stroke Jim’s neck. “You will. When you are old enough you will come to San Francisco.”

“No, I won’t,” Jim said sullenly. “I’ll never get to go. And I’ll never see you again.”

“You are mistaken. And you are looking at this from a completely emotional view. It is not rational.”

Jim looked up at him, his blue eyes blazing. “That’s easy for you to say. You didn’t just have your heart crushed.”

“You did not have your heart crushed. It still beats within your chest.”

“Spock.” Jim laughed a little. “This sucks.”

“I am not especially pleased with the outcome either. But you are wrong when you say you will not see me again.”

“Yeah?”

Spock exhaled slowly. “How much do you know of Vulcans?”

“I’ve studied them. Why?”

“Have you heard of Telsu?”

“The ancient warrior bond, right?”

Spock nodded. “Yes. You and I…we are Telsu.”


	9. Bond? What Bond?

Jim laughed. “That’s really funny.”

Spock blinked slowly. “I do not find the situation humorous.”

“Oh, come on, Spock. _Me_? Your bondmate? Your what… _T’hy’la_? A human with a Vulcan? Get real.”

“Is there something wrong with Vulcans?”

Jim shook his head quickly. “God, no. It’s me. That’s what’s wrong. There’s no way I would be Telsu with someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

Jim got up from the swing and started pacing. God, he was so agitated now. Spock had to be crazy to think Jim was somehow linked with him. Stuff like that didn’t happen to Jim. Never.

“You’re just so perfect,” Jim explained. “You’re hot and just so cool in all your black and leather. I bet you could do _anything_. You don’t get beat up by Gorns, I bet.”

“I do not pick fights with them either,” Spock said coolly.

“I know! But I bet if you did get in a fight with one you’d totally kick his ass. Spock, the universe wouldn’t be so cruel to you to stick you with me.”

“I wish for you to return to sitting.”

“Huh?”

“Sit down.”

Jim bit his lip and sat on the swing again. “Look, I—”

“I am speaking now,” Spock interrupted. “You are apparently unaware Vulcans do not lie.”

“I’ve heard that.”

“When I tell you that we are Telsu it is because we are. You have felt our bond when we have touched.”

Jim licked his chapped lips. Well, there was that. But that couldn’t be the bond thingy. Could it? “Yeah, but—”

“There is no but. You are my T’hy’la. It is very rare and unexpected but it is not unwelcome.”

“Wouldn’t it be with another Vulcan?” Jim asked. “Wait, it’s not?”

“No, it is not. I find your company pleasant. The Telsu bond exists between two warriors whose minds seek each other out. It is not a requirement that it be another Vulcan.”

“But it always has been, hasn’t it?”

“Affirmative.”

Jim blew out a breath. “See, I’m not saying you’re lying. Really. I’m just saying you’re probably mistaken. That thing that happens when we touch? It’s probably just sexual attraction.”

Spock’s jaw tightened and then he was holding out his hand to Jim’s face. “May I?”

“What?”

“Since you are not listening, I thought it would be easier to show you.”

“Show me?”

Spock’s fingers touched Jim’s face. “My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts.”

Jim’s mind suddenly burst open with brilliant red light and he could see into Spock’s mind and there was bright blue light, too.

_The red light is my mind. The blue light is yours._

The lights changed to threads and they reached toward each other and twisted into a braid. Spock’s mind was open to Jim and it was so brilliant, so appealing that Jim gasped. He longed to drown in it.

Spock’s hand dropped from Jim’s face and he put further distance between them on the swing. He cleared his throat. “Now do you see?”

Jim swallowed, shook his head. “Lifelong mates? I’m only sixteen. How can I already have like this epic romance?”

“It is not an epic romance,” Spock said disdainfully.

“ _Whatever_. It’s kind of like that. I mean you expect us to be together forever. And I’m supposed to…what? Never have anyone else? That’s-that’s…wow. I can’t even wrap my mind around that.”

Jim was standing again without even remembering getting up from the swing. He started pacing.

“You _know_ I like you, Spock. But…fuck.”

Spock’s face looked like it was carved from stone. “You can, of course, ignore the bond. That is your choice.”

“I can?”

Spock nodded stiffly. “I can also ask my father if there is a way to dissolve the bond.”

Jim stopped pacing long enough to study Spock. The Vulcan gave nothing away really. And that might be a problem. Would he be faced with not being able to figure out Spock or where he stood with him for the rest of his life? And God, how many years would that be?

“Do you think it can be dissolved?” he asked.

“I do not know until I seek counsel with my father. If you find the prospect of our bond unpleasant then I am certain something can be arranged.”

“No, Spock. It’s not unpleasant. Exactly.” Jim growled in frustration. “It’s just—everyone’s always trying to plan out my life for me. My dad won’t let me do what I want and now you come along and tell me our minds are linked and we’re bondmates for life, because yeah I know that’s what T’hy’la means, and it’s just really hard to take this all in.”

“I see.” Spock stood. “Captain Pike and I are returning to San Francisco in the morning.”

Jim felt his chest tighten. “Tomorrow? So soon?”

“The point of our trip to Riverside was to convince your father to allow you to enroll in our summer program. Since that has been unsuccessful we must return to our duties.” Spock paused. “Once I have reached San Francisco, I will speak to my father. I will then relay the information to you, if that is acceptable.”

“Spock—”

“Goodnight, Jim. Or rather, perhaps, goodbye.”

“Spock, can you—can you just wait a minute?”

But Spock had already gone through the front door into the farmhouse.

****

Two days later and Jim had never felt so fucking empty in his life. He’d tried repeatedly to feel what he’d felt with Spock when he’d linked their minds but it was like there was a wall up or something because nothing worked.

He’d gone to school, because Spock wanted him to, and how fucked up was it that he was going because he didn’t want to disappoint Spock?

He couldn’t stop thinking of Spock and he wondered if that was because of Spock or because of the bond or maybe both. And then when Louellen had come up to him and touched him Jim wanted to crawl out of his skin. Seriously fucked up.

Jim had tried contacting Spock on his PADD since he couldn’t seem to reach his mind.

 _What’s up?_ He’d typed.

_I do not have an answer for you yet, James._

_Spock, that’s totally not what I meant._

_I have classes to teach._

And that was the end of that. Jim hated feeling like he was totally bothering Spock. Obviously he was though.

Jim couldn’t be in his house. The tension there was choking him. He wanted to take off, go somewhere away from Riverside. The next town over. Anywhere. He wanted to get drunk, he wanted to get laid, he wanted to scream. He wanted none of that. And if that wasn’t confusingly fucked up he didn’t know what was.

 Jim planted himself on an old wooden crate outside next to the barn and stared up at the stars, dreaming once more of a life he wondered if he would ever get. The air was crisp and cold. Clouds were coming in later and with it probably a storm. Maybe even snow. It didn’t snow in San Francisco.

He took his PADD out from his coat and sent a message to Spock anyway.

_It’s gonna snow I think. Doesn’t snow there, huh?’_

_It is not proper to type in slang form. No, it is not snowing._

Jim sighed.

_Don’t do anything, okay?_

_To what do you refer?_

_You know what, Spock. Just don’t._

_I have already broached the subject with my father._

Jim’s gut twisted.

Jim put the PADD back in his coat. He didn’t think he wanted to see what Spock said next. Anyway, he was the idiot who caused all this. Spock probably _wanted_ to break their bond now.

He turned at the approach of footsteps to see Sam coming toward him. His brother was bundled up way more than Jim in a heavy coat, scarf and gloves. He handed a scarf to Jim.

“Put that on, you dope.” Sam sat next to him and nudged him with his shoulder. “You can’t get all broody inside where it won’t freeze our goddamn balls off?”

Jim laughed. “I guess not. I always come out here. It’s where—”

“The stars are,” Sam finished for him. “I know. You aren’t ever gonna shut up about space, are you, kiddo?”

“Probably not.”

Sam sighed. “I talked to Dad. It took some convincing, but he’s going to let you go to the summer program.”

Jim’s breath caught in his throat. “What?”

“Yeah.” Sam smiled and ruffled Jim’s hair. “Aurelan and I are gonna get married and have the baby here. We’ll stay here with dad at least through the summer you’re away. We’ll all figure out what comes next after that.”

“He-he really said I could go, Sammy?”

“He really did. Told me to come out here and tell you. He’s still not thrilled, kiddo. But he knows it’s important to you. And I think with us sticking around, it made it easier for him.”

Jim could barely swallow around the lump in his throat as he hugged his brother. “You’re the best brother ever.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sam patted Jim’s back. “I know you’ll make me proud. Dad, too. And Mom.”

He sniffled. “God, you just had to say that, didn’t you? Do you like making me crumble?”

Sam laughed. “Maybe a little. And now for fuck’s sake, I’m going back inside. You may want your parts turning blue, but I sure as hell don’t.” He squeezed Jim and then rose from the crate. “Don’t stay out here too much longer. Don’t want to find a Jimsicle.”

Jim waited for Sam to get into the house before he pulled out his PADD again. There was no other message from Spock. He sighed and typed his anyway.

_I’m coming._

_Clarify._

_To San Francisco. Dad said yes._

Jim waited. When there was no immediate response, he bit his lip.

_Can I still stay at your dad’s home?_

_We will make the arrangements._

_Is that a yes?_

_Yes, Jim._

_Okay, see you soon._

_Not for two and one half months._

_Well, you know what I mean._

_Go inside._

_How did you know I was outside?_

_You were always outside._

Jim smiled.

_Goodnight, Jim._

_Spock?_

_Jim?_

_I can’t wait to see you. Goodnight._

And he put away his PADD and went back inside.


	10. Communication

_You know what?_

_How would I know?_

Jim sighed and leaned against his bed’s headboard.

_It’s an expression, Spock._

_An illogical one._

_Yeah okay. It’s snowing again._

_The last seven days you have informed me of the weather. Is this what is known as small talk?_

_Maybe. I just thought you might want to know it hasn’t stopped snowing. I don’t think it ever will._

_That is highly improbable, Jim._

He sighed again.

_Yeah, I know, Spock. I’m, you know, I’m exaggerating._

_Illogical_

_You do know that’s my middle name, right?_

_Your middle name is Tiberius._

Jim leaned his head back on the headboard and closed his eyes. His PADD beeped.

_Jim?_

_I’m here. What are you doing?_

_Besides talking to you, I am preparing lessons for my classes._

_Hey, Spock?_

_Yes?_

_You’re really young to be an instructor, aren’t you?_

_I am the youngest instructor in the history of the academy._

_Ah, and you’re smug about it._

_I am stating facts, Jim. I am not smug as you say._

_I am teasing, Spock. I’m just a little jealous how awesome you are._

_You are highly intelligent._

_I’m not a badass leather wearing Vulcan who is the youngest instructor in Starfleet Academy history._

_You think my ass is bad?_

Jim burst out laughing.

_OMG. A joke, Spock? You are full of surprises._

_Go to sleep, Jim._

_I’d rather talk to you._

_Jim, go to sleep. We will talk again tomorrow._

_Okay. Goodnight, Spock._

Jim put his PADD on the nightstand next to his bed. He wasn’t tired at all. Talking to Spock always wired him. But he’d learned in their short acquaintance that once Spock grew tired of talking to him he would tell him to go to bed. He suspected the Vulcan would not admit directly to finding Jim tiresome after a while, but Jim figured that was it. Most found Jim tiresome after a while.

He wondered again how this lifelong bond thing was going to work. Spock hadn’t really said he still wanted it or even what his father had said about it.

Jim picked up the PADD again.

_Spock?_

_You are not asleep._

_Obviously. It’s only been a couple of minutes. Can I ask you something?_

_Affirmative._

_Was your dad mad?_

_Clarify_

_You know after._

_Regarding your doubts about keeping our bond?_

Jim winced.

_Yeah._

_Anger is an emotion that he, as a Vulcan, does not feel._

_Spock._

_He was concerned._

_About?_

Long pause this time.

_How this would affect me._

_Well, anyway, I’ve changed my mind._

_Do not agree to something when you are still uncertain._

_I’m not though. Okay, maybe I am. But I definitely don’t wanna break it or anything._

_You are supposed to be sleeping._

_I can’t sleep. At least not until I find out if you have changed your mind._

_Changed my mind?_

_You know about this bond. And why was your dad concerned? Would it hurt you if the bond was broken? Physically?_

_It is possible. Breaking a Telsu bond has never been done before. The effects are not known._

_That’s fucked up._

_If it is what we choose then it will be dealt with._

_So, do you want to break it?_

_I would rather not. But it is not entirely up to me. As my bondmate you are of the utmost importance to me, therefore, your needs come first._

Jim blinked, sighed. He really wondered if Spock could get any more perfect.

_See this is what I mean by epic. All that talk of bondmates and importance and I know Vulcans go nuts over their bonds. It’s a lot of pressure._

_We do not go nuts over them._

_Well kind of. And what about your needs, Spock? Mine shouldn’t come before yours._

_They do._

_They do not._

_It is illogical to go back and forth in this manner, Jim._

_Spock, I don’t want to break it either._

And really, Jim meant it. Which was weird. It was still kind of freaky. Okay maybe more than kind of. But Spock was awesome. And if Spock’s fucking sexy mind wanted Jim’s mind, who was he to argue?

_Very well. Now, will you go to sleep? Humans need their rest. Especially young humans._

_I think you just get tired of talking to me._

_I do not. Generally._

_All right. I’ll go to sleep. But not until you say you miss me._

_Jim._

_Come on, Spock. It’s just three words. You can do it._

_I miss you. Satisfied?_

_I was until you added that fourth sarcastic word._

_Goodnight, Jim._

_Goodnight, Spock._

Jim laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. He really wasn’t tired. He wanted to talk more with Spock. He tried counting stars on his ceiling, because yeah they’d been painted there since he was like two years old. Didn’t work. He flipped to his stomach and grabbed the PADD again.

_Spock?_

_Jim, I thought you were going to go to sleep._

_Well, yeah, but you know I’m so not tired. I tried, really._

_Not for long._

_It was long for me. Did I tell you I ended things with Louellen?_

_She is the female from your high school?_

_Yeah, her. I mean I figured I should, shouldn’t I?_

He waited for a response, but it was a long time coming, so Jim started typing.

_Spo—_

_Vulcans prefer not to share their mates._

_Okay, so I did right then._

_Yes. Though I would not wish to make you do something you are uncomfortable with._

_Well, I admit it is kind of weird._

_Clarify._

_Just the whole…exclusiveness of it all. I never thought I’d be…well whatever we are…this soon in my life._

_If you are not prepared—_

_Stop. I am prepared. Or sort of prepared. Spock, can’t a guy express normal reservations without you getting all affronted?_

_I am not affronted._

_You so are. Look, I think you’re super hot and you know that. I didn’t try to hide my attraction to you. And besides, I’m pretty sure you find me kind of okay, too._

A long pause.

_More than okay._

_Acceptable even?_

_More than acceptable._

Jim grinned.

_Spock, have you got the hots for me?_

_I find you aesthetically pleasing._

_Wow._

_You are mocking me._

_Hey. No. Not. At. All. I’m just really kind of happy that you admitted that without me having to beg._

_Go to sleep, Jim._

_Wait, I want to ask you about the Summer Program._

_What?_

_Well, if you aren’t my instructor because of the bond thing like you told me a couple of days ago—_

_Affirmative._

_Do you know who will be?_

_A doctor by the name of Leonard McCoy._

_What’s he like?_

_I am not personally acquainted with him at this moment but his Starfleet record is spotless and admirable._

_I wonder if he’s mean._

_I do not anticipate his personality, whatever that may be, will be relevant to your learning experience, Jim._

_A medical doctor?_

_Correct. He is also supposed to be well versed in Starfleet procedurals._

_I’d rather have you._

_We cannot have any accusations of favoritism._

_I totally doubt you would treat me with favoritism if I totally sucked._

_Your dialogue is becoming repetitive and illogical, Jim. It is time for you to sleep. For real this time._

_Would you?_

_Would I what?_

Jim sighed.

_Treat me with favoritism if I was your student, Professor._

This time the pause was long.

_Spock?_

_My apologies. I found your use of that title rather stimulating._

_OMG. You got like turned on!_

_Jim._

_You did. Wow. That’s so cool._

_James._

_Just admit it, Spock. You got all hot and bothered when I called you professor._

_Go to sleep._

_Fine. I really like talking to you, by the way._

_I enjoyed our discourse as well._

_Did you?_

_Some of it._

_All right. Night, Spock._

_Good night, Jim._

****

Spock shut off his PADD. It was past time to meditate.

“You have kept up your correspondence with James Kirk?” Sarek, his father, asked from the doorway of the study Spock had been working in.

“Yes, Father. He is a particularly wordy human.” Spock inclined his head. “He has withdrawn his request to break our bond.”

Sarek nodded. “I am gratified to hear it. He is impetuous and emotional as most young male humans are. Once he comes to San Francisco he will adapt to our Vulcan ways.”

Spock stood. “I am not so certain.”

“Even your mother has acquiesced to our ways for the majority of matters. So too will James. You seek to retire?”

“I intend to meditate.”

“I bid you good night then.”

“Father.”

Spock made his way to his room to prepare for meditation. He found himself more and more restless with Jim so far away.


	11. Leaving Home

Now that it was time, now that the summer had finally arrived and Jim really would be going to San Francisco…he didn’t want to go.

Okay, well, that he didn’t want to go was too strong, he guessed. A huge part of him was so excited to go he could barely sit still. Well, even more than usual.

Starfleet Academy? He was all over that.

Seeing Spock again? So all over that.

Living with Spock’s parents? No way. Spock’s mother was human, which could be good or bad. Not every human was nice. Jim could swear to that. But Spock turned out okay, so Jim supposed she must be pretty all right. Spock’s dad on the other hand—

He just didn’t know. He’d spent a few nights watching Sarek on his PADD giving diplomatic speeches. Jim’s blood had frozen in his veins every time. The guy was cold. Scary cold. Spock had assured him that Sarek would approve of Jim. And Jim thought Spock was nuts.

Then there was leaving Iowa. Yeah, he so wanted to leave. But there was a difference—a big one really—between wanting to leave and leaving. Worse he had to leave Sam and Aurelan. And his dad.

“You got everything packed?” Sam asked him from the doorway of Jim’s bedroom.

“I think so.” Jim shrugged. “It’s hard to know what to bring. I’ve never been anywhere.”

“It’ll be okay, kiddo. You don’t have anything to be nervous about.”

“Nervous? I’m not nervous.” He opened a drawer in his dresser.

“You’ve opened that same dresser drawer three times since I’ve been standing here.”

Jim closed it. “It’s just that this is big, Sammy. It’s not just about Starfleet. All of a sudden I have this…I don’t know…life mate or something. Spock and Pike show up one day and the next thing I know I’m going to the Academy and getting engaged.”

“I don’t think it’s an engagement.” Sam frowned. “Exactly.”

“Pretty close, don’t you think? I mean I’m gonna live with his parents! This-this bond thing is like forever. It kind of freaks me out.”

“Jim, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” Sam said. “I know Dad feels that way. If you don’t want to be with this Spock, then—”

“I like Spock. A lot. It’s just really a lot of pressure.”

“I’ll back you up no matter what, kiddo. If you go there and find Starfleet is not for you or this bond thing is not for you, I’ve got your back.”

Jim got a lump in his throat. “That’s because you’re the best brother ever.”

Sam smiled. “Dad’s waiting. Come down when you’re ready. Aurelan wants to see you off too.”

“I’ll be down in a second.”

Sam left him alone again and Jim grabbed his PADD. He stared at the last message he’d gotten from Spock.

_We are ready for your arrival_.

That was it. Nothing terribly romantic or anything. Not that he was expecting that. Exactly. But something like, ‘I eagerly await you’, might have been nice.

Of course Jim had been studying Vulcans, and in particular Spock, ad-nauseum ever since learning about the-the whatever—bond—so yeah Jim knew Vulcans weren’t romantic. In fact, they were like the opposite of that. Practical and logical and non-emotional. Really, how the hell would someone like him end up with a practical, logical, non-emotional kind of guy? So weird.

Jim had asked Spock dozens of times if he were certain he hadn’t miscalculated about their bond, but Spock had been very sure. And then he said something about Sarek confirming it when Jim came to San Francisco. Jim didn’t know what that meant but it sounded scary.

Everything was different now. Shortly after Spock and Pike had left Riverside, Jim had broken it off with Louellen for good as he had told Spock. She hadn’t taken it well. Cried and begged and then got mad. She’d physically assaulted him, kicked him, hit him, and Jim had let her. Guessed he’d earned it.

So, he’d been surprised when earlier that day, Lou had come to see him.

“Can’t I go with you?” Lou asked.

“With me? Lou, no. First, I’m going to be busy. I’m going to school. Starfleet Academy.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I know. You _told_ me. That’s all you ever talked about, Jimmy. Space being the final frontier and all that shit.”

“Then you know that’s why I’m going to San Francisco and I can’t take you with me. Besides, Lou, we broke up.”

“I just have to get away from Riverside. Just like you. And you’re just going for the summer. Couldn’t I go as your friend?”

“I’m staying with Spock’s family.”

Lou huffed. “You and that stupid Vulcan. What the hell does he have that I don’t anyway? He’s not even human.”

“He’s half. Forget it, Lou, you can’t come. I’m sorry.”

“God, I just hate you, Jimmy.”

And then she’d left, on foot, in the direction of town. Jim did feel bad about her. He’d liked her well enough when they first hooked up, but it wasn’t like he was in love with her. Whatever love was. She talked about love all the time, sending him notes and messages with hearts and flowers drawn in. But really, Jim wasn’t sure she had loved him either.

He glanced around his bedroom. All of his life—at least that he could remember—he’d lived here. And a lot of that time he’d spent lonely and dreaming of space and somewhere other than Riverside. So, then, why did he linger here now that he was leaving? It was only for the summer, right?

Maybe. But Jim couldn’t shake this weird feeling that he’d never be coming back to Iowa.

“Jim!” His father yelled from downstairs.

He blew out a breath, grabbed his bag and headed out of his room.

His dad, Sam, and Aurelan were all waiting for him.

“Here, I’ll take that.” His dad took Jim’s bag. He glanced at the other three. “I’ll wait in the car. Don’t take too long. The train will be leaving soon.”

Jim went to Aurelan first. Her baby belly was prominent now. He hugged her tight and didn’t let go for a long time. She didn’t make him. Instead she stroked his hair.

“It’s going to be great, Jim. You’ll have such a blast.”

“Yeah.”

“You will,” she assured him.

He finally drew back to look at her. She was smiling but he didn’t miss the wet sheen to her eyes. “Can’t believe you married my stupid brother.”

Aurelan laughed. ”You know the Kirks are hard to resist.”

Jim grinned at his brother. “Yeah, yeah. And I guess Sammy’s the cream of the crop.” He shook his head. “I’m gonna miss the birth of my own nephew.”

“He won’t remember you weren’t here,” she said.

“No, but I will. Maybe I shouldn’t go.”

“Jim, you should go.”

He bit his lip and nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

“Come on, kiddo, Dad’s still waiting,” Sam said, pulling him into a bear hug. Then he released him. “See you when you get back.”

Jim swallowed. “See you.”

“You’ll make us proud,” Sam said, ruffling Jim’s hair.

He certainly hoped so.

****

“I could have walked to the train station, Dad. You didn’t have to bring me,” Jim told his dad as they waited for the arrival of the train.

His dad smiled. “Like it or not, Jimbo, you’re still my son. My baby.”

Jim made a face. “I’m not a baby.”

“No, I guess you aren’t,” his dad acknowledged. “Still, you’re a minor. I want to see you get there safe. They’re supposed to be there waiting for you when you get there, right?”

“Yeah, that’s what they said.”

“Maybe I should have ridden with you to San Francisco.”

Jim shook his head. “There’s no need. I’ll be okay.”

“I know you think I’m overprotective. You know, it’s just…you’re my son.”

Jim exhaled slowly, hoping he could speak around the lump forming. Again. Geez, he was an emotional wreck these days. “I know, Dad. I don’t blame you for worrying. But I promise I’ll do whatever I can to be safe.”

His dad didn’t look at him, just gazed at the train tracks. “I never wanted this for you. Starfleet. I hoped you’d escape that restless need for space and exploration your mom and I had.”

“I think maybe it’s in our blood.”

“Yeah. Maybe. But your brother is right. I can’t really stop you from pursuing your dreams. It would be unfair. No matter how much I might hate the idea.”

Jim smiled. “That’s because you’re the best dad there is.”

His dad snorted. “Yeah, sure. Here comes the train. You’ll write me every day, right? Let me know how it’s going.”

“Every day.”

“And if you hate it, hate anything about it, if anyone’s mean to you or –”

“Dad. I know.” Jim threw his arms around his dad and squeezed tight. He closed his eyes, trying to will away the tears stinging his eyes. This wasn’t supposed to be this hard.

“Okay, Jimbo.” His dad squeezed him back and then released him. “As soon as you’re there, you let me know.”

Jim nodded. “The very second.”

“Bye.”

“Bye, Dad.” And Jim picked up his bag and got on the train headed for San Francisco.

 

 


	12. San Francisco

Spock waited at the train station for Jim alone. His mother and father had indicated a wish to accompany him when he collected Jim, but Spock had suspected it might be too overwhelming for Jim to be faced with Spock’s parents immediately upon disembarking.

But as he waited and more and more passengers had disembarked and there was still no sign of Jim, Spock began to feel a small amount of apprehension. What if Jim had missed the train? Surely if he had, he would have messaged Spock. What if Jim had changed his mind and did not intend to come to San Francisco?

If that were the case, then Spock would have to contact Jim and discuss it at length with him. He would have to refrain from showing too much disappointment to his mate. Jim was young and uncertain. It would be up to Spock to make sure Jim was comfortable with all aspects of their future.

Spock released a long held breath when Jim finally appeared at the top of the stairs leading down from the transport train. He clutched a bag tight to his chest and looked quite pale which immediately caused Spock concern.

Jim stepped down from the train and looked right at Spock. He walked toward where Spock waited.

“Hi.”

“You are unwell?” Spock asked immediately.

Jim shook his head. “No, not exactly. Well, kind of. I think I got a little train sick.”

Spock touched the back of his hand to Jim’s cheek. Immediately Jim’s distress came to the surface. There was nausea, yes, but also nervousness and sorrow. For a moment Spock had forgotten how very young and human Jim was and that leaving his home and family for the first time might be stressful.

Through their skin contact he worked on getting rid of the train sickness Jim had experienced.

Jim blinked, and then smiled. “That was nice. How did you do that?”

“It is something bonded couples can accomplish,” Spock told him. He did not yet move his hand. “You are sad.”

Jim met Spock’s gaze. “It was harder parting from everyone than I thought it would be. That’s all.”

Spock wished to ease Jim’s emotional distress, but thought perhaps it would be logical for Jim to miss his family and he should not interfere. He withdrew his hand and reached for Jim’s bag, pulling it easily from Jim’s fingers.

“Where are your parents?” Jim asked, as he followed after Spock, when Spock began to leave the station. “I thought they’d be here.”

“They wanted to be, but I thought with the stress of traveling, you would wish to wait until I take you home before you met them.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Mother has a meal planned to welcome you. I am afraid, though, it is Vegetarian as the three of us follow a Vegetarian diet.”

“Yeah, I knew that, Spock. It’s totally cool.” Jim was breathing heavily. “Hey, could you maybe slow down?”

Spock stopped and turned to see that Jim’s face was red. “I apologize. Are you still unwell?”

“Well, I didn’t know we were in a race or something. I have some allergies, so sometimes I have trouble with breathing.”

“Again, I apologize, Jim. I did not intend to cause you further issues.”

Jim smiled. “It’s fine. Just—just go a bit slower is all.”

Spock nodded and reduced his stride to match Jim’s. “I suppose I am slightly anxious to get you settled.”

“I’m here now, Spock. I’m not going away.”

“It did take some convincing of your father, though.”

“True,” Jim acknowledged. “Are we walking to your home?”

“Affirmative. It is only a few blocks from the train station. And for the next three months it will also be your home.” Spock would not want him to leave at the end of the summer. But he knew George Kirk would have something to say about that.

“Hey, Spock?”

“Yes, Jim?”

“Are we sharing a room?”

“No. Your room is next to mine, though. Why?”

Jim shrugged and grinned. “Well, you know, with us being a bonded couple and all, I thought maybe we would.”

Spock inclined his head. “Eventually, if you so desire, we shall share a room. But circumstances being what they are and your current age, it was decided that your having your own room was prudent.”

“Apparently decided without my input.”

“Jim—”

He sighed. “Yeah, I know, Spock. It’s your dad’s home. I’m just being a pain. You can ignore me.”

“I do not wish to ignore you. However, I think this is the wisest course at this point in our acquaintance.”

“Oh, so now we are just acquaintances?”

Spock frowned. “That is not what I mean.”

Jim laughed. “I know. I’m just yanking your chain.”

“Yanking my chain?”

“Just an expression. And a stupid one. Never mind.” Jim groaned. “How much longer?”

“Further.”

“Huh?”

“The correct question in this instance would be how much further.”

Jim sighed. “Fine, Professor. How much further?”

Spock tried to restrain his reaction to Jim calling him _professor_. “Another two blocks.”

“I thought you said it was close enough to walk.”

Spock glanced at him. He did seem a little pale. “I had not anticipated you would be ill when I planned for us to take the trip on foot. I apologize.”

“It’s okay. I’ll get over it. I’m just tired and cranky.”

When they reached the apartment building, Jim looked relieved and Spock felt a tinge of unexpected guilt. He really hadn’t thought the short walk would be an issue.

They entered the building and rode the lift up to the top floor.

“Our home is this entire floor,” Spock explained.

“Wow, really? That’s pretty cool.”

“Our home on Earth, anyway.”

“Do you miss Vulcan?”

“It would be illogical to miss a place. However I would not be averse to returning there soon.”

They got off the lift and Spock led him to the double doors to their home. The apartment was made up of a large kitchen and dining room, a living room, two offices, four bedrooms, and three bathrooms. It had what Spock suspected most humans would consider an amazing view.

Instead of bringing Jim to the kitchen to meet his mother immediately, he brought him to the room that would be his for the next three months.

“This is your room, Jim.” He placed Jim’s bag on the bed.

Jim looked around. “Nice. Where does that door lead to?”

“Our shared bathroom. My room is on the other side.”

Jim smiled slowly. “So our rooms are kind of connected, huh?”

Spock nodded. “Yes.”

“Well that makes things a lot more promising.” Jim stepped close to Spock. “So, how about a welcome kiss?”


	13. Meet the Parents

For a half a second Jim was certain Spock was going to take a step back from him and that simply wouldn’t do.

“Come on, Spock. Please?”

“My parents are waiting to meet you.”

Jim smiled and put his arm around Spock’s waist to prevent him from moving away. “It will take less than five minutes to kiss me.”

Spock’s eyes seemed to get darker as he stared intently at Jim. His hand came up to cup Jim’s jaw and he stroked his thumb across Jim’s cheek.

Jim eyes widened at the thrill that shot through him. “When you touch me I feel…” He shook his head.

“What?” Spock whispered.

“Everything. I feel everything.” He couldn’t explain it any better.

“It is the same for me.” Spock lowered his head until their lips were just a fraction of an inch away from each other. “I have never felt like this.”

“No?” Jim’s lungs constricted. “That’s good, isn’t it?”

“I am uncertain.”

“I can’t have that.” He grabbed the back of Spock’s neck and pushed up that fraction of an inch until his lips met Spock’s.

For the first ten seconds Jim decided it was like kissing a Spock statue and he was growing frustrated. He darted his tongue out, tracing Spock’s cool lips and to his delight, Spock groaned, pulled Jim closer, and deepened the kiss. His long fingers left Jim’s face to tangle in Jim’s hair, tugging.

Fuck, that was hot.

Jim whimpered and opened his mouth under Spock’s suddenly bruising kiss. Their tongues met, fenced with each other, swirled together…both claiming victory. Spock’s other hand moved down his body to rest on Jim’s ass and Jim couldn’t help but nod his approval. He totally approved.

Hell, if this was what kissing Spock was like then he was going to be lost forever in Spock’s arms. He wanted to crawl all over Spock, get them as close as they could be, link them everywhere.

Spock tore his mouth away with a roughness that startled Jim and rested his forehead against Jim’s. They were both panting heavily.

“Why-why’d you stop?” Jim asked, breathlessly.

“Because I did not desire to stop.”

He frowned. “That makes no sense.”

“I wished to claim you,” Spock said hoarsely.

“Well, I wish to be claimed,” Jim said, and didn’t that just sound amazingly hot. “So what’s the problem?”

“My parents are waiting to meet you,” Spock said through clenched teeth.

“Oh.” Jim licked his lips. “Oh, right.”

Spock stared at his mouth. “I ask that you not display your tongue in that manner.”

“What?”

Spock pulled away from Jim and straightened. “It is…most distracting. I find I wish to suck on it.”

Jim stared at him, his eyes wide. His pulse raced and damn if his dick hadn’t perked up at that. It was very very interested. “You can’t say stuff like that just before I’m going out to meet your folks.”

Spock nodded, his Adam’s apple slowing going down his throat as he swallowed. “Acknowledged.”

Jim looked at Spock and quickly noted the tent of Spock’s trousers. “And you can’t go out there like that!”

Spock’s gaze went to Jim’s crotch. “You are in the same state.”

“Fuck.” Jim turned away from Spock. “First…just. I can’t look at you. It’s too much.”

“Agreed. I am going to go into our connected bathroom to allow both of us time to compose ourselves. I will return in three minutes.”

Jim nodded but didn’t turn around. He heard the bathroom door close and he heaved several calming breaths, trying to think about anything other than how hot Spock was and how hot it was to be kissing Spock.     

Three minutes later Spock came out of the bathroom. Jim did not dare look at Spock’s crotch.

“Shall we go and meet my mother?” Spock asked, his voice cool and level.

Jim nodded. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

He had absolutely no practice meeting someone’s mother. He’d never met Lou’s mother and Lou had been as close as he had to an actual relationship.

Jim’s stomach fluttered nervously and his palms were sweaty as he followed Spock to the kitchen. What had Spock even said about him? They probably both knew about Jim’s doubts about the epic bond.

The moment they reached the kitchen a woman turned around to greet them. She was a thin brunette with slightly graying hair poking out from her headscarves that were wrapped rather ornately around her head and neck, Jim noted. She was pretty and had a nice smile.

“Mother, may I present Jim Kirk to you? This is my mother, Amanda.”

“Ma’am.” Jim stuck out his hand. “Uh, Mrs.—uh—” Ah, hell. He didn’t know what he was supposed to call her.

She smiled warmly as she took his hand in hers. She grasped it rather than shook it. “Please, may I call you Jim?”

“Oh, sure, of course.”

“And I would love it if you called me Amanda. After all we are family.”

“Mother,” Spock said sharply.

She glanced at Spock. “Well, I know, but practically, right?” She turned back to Jim and her smile widened. “You’re every bit as cute as Spock said.”

Jim blinked. “Well, I…thanks.”

“I did not say he was cute, Mother.”

“No, I believe the words were very striking.” She pulled Jim by the hand to a chair at the kitchen bar. “Would you like something to drink, Jim?”

“Mother, you are overwhelming him,” Spock protested, sitting in the chair directly next to Jim. He put his hand on Jim’s leg and Jim instantly felt calmer. And how weird was that?

 Amanda bit her lip. “I’m sorry, Jim. It’s simply I’ve been waiting to meet you ever since Spock came back from Iowa and told me of your bond. I’m a little excited.”

“No, uh, that’s okay. I’m fine. Just, you know, the train ride made me a bit sick. Can I have water?” Jim asked. Then thought to add, “Please.”

“Of course.” She took a glass out of a cupboard and filled it with water, then set it in front of Jim. “We’re having a vegetable casserole. I hope that’s all right with you.”

“Whatever you make will be fine, ma’am.”

“Amanda,” she said again. “He’s very polite, isn’t he, Spock?”

“Mother, he is sitting right in front of you.”

She laughed. “I know. Did you like your room, Jim?”

“It seems fine, Amanda.”

“Good. Spock’s father will be home shortly. Since Spock didn’t want us to go to the train station with him, Sarek decided to put in some work. He’s very anxious to meet you too.”

Jim felt his anxiety spike but Spock seemed to sense it because he squeezed Jim’s leg a little and he felt the same calmness being pushed at him. He glanced at Spock’s profile with a frown.

“I look forward to meeting him,” Jim said, though honestly he was not. He just wanted to go to Starfleet. He wasn’t ready for all the rest of this. Was he? He started to feel sweaty and a bit nauseated.

Spock stood. “Mother, will you excuse the two of us for a moment?”

Amanda blinked, looking perplexed. “Of course.”

Jim found himself pulled out of his chair by Spock and taken into the hallway outside the bedrooms.

“Spock, what—”

“You are agitated and distressed,” Spock said. “I would know the cause.”

“How do you even know that?”

“You are my T’hy’la, I feel your emotions.”

“What?” Jim frowned.

“It is stronger when we are touching but I feel them even when not. It is part of our bond. You indicated you had studied Vulcans.”

“I did! But I don’t remember that part. You-you can’t just syphon my emotions.”

Spock’s eyes narrowed. “It is not a matter of syphoning. With practice you will also feel mine.”

Jim blinked, and without even thinking about it, stepped closer. “Wow, really?”

Spock nodded stiffly.

“So you do feel?”

“Yes.”

Jim smiled. “Well, I thought so, but it’s good to have confirmation.”

“Why are you distressed?”

“This-this meet the parents. And I gotta tell you, Spock, your dad? Really scary. And you said something about him confirming the bond. What does that mean?”

A throat cleared behind him and Jim jumped two feet in the air. He turned around quickly and backed up until his back was pretty much plastered against Spock’s front. He was exceedingly grateful Spock didn’t move away.

Sarek, Jim knew it had to be him based on the videos he’d seen of the ambassador, stood just a few feet away from them. His expression was completely blank. Jim was pretty sure he heard Spock swallow.

“Father, may I present my bondmate, James Kirk.”

Sarek inclined his head. “I offer my name to you.”

“Um. Okay. Th-thanks. You-you can have mine too.” He inched back, squeezing impossibly close to Spock. He felt a steadying hand on the small of his back and calm being projected from Spock.

“Welcome to my home, James. I trust you will find your stay here enlightening.”

Jim gulped. “Yeah, I trust that too.”

“Would you care to join me in the living area before dinner?” Sarek asked coolly.

Jim opened his mouth to reply but all that came out was a squeak.

“That would be agreeable,” Spock said, speaking for both of them.

“Ah, this way.”

 

 


	14. Sarek

Jim’s anxiety had spiked so high as they entered the living room area that Spock felt highly agitated himself. He’d known Jim was nervous to meet his father but he’d had no idea it was this intense.

With a hand on Jim’s back, Spock led him to the leather sofa which sat two and tugged him down to sit. Spock took the place next to him. His father took a high backed leather chair across from the couch. Jim inched closer to Spock until he nearly sat in Spock’s lap.

“I trust you found your travel here tolerable?” Sarek asked.

Jim licked his lips. “Tolerable. Yeah, I guess you could say it was. Sure.” He reached for Spock’s hand and placed his over Spock’s and with their skin contact, Spock felt Jim’s emotions as intensely as if they were his own.

“You are anxious concerning your bond with my son.”

Spock was not surprised his father decided to get straight to the point but Jim did not react well. He became rigid and his breathing grew heavier and the underlying emotion Spock could feel through their contact was panic. Spock tried projecting calm and comfort.

“Yes, sir. It’s just, you know, we don’t have those in Iowa. I mean I don’t know anyone who ever has had one. And sometimes I think maybe Spock got it wrong or whatever. You, I mean, you’re going to confirm it?”

“I trust my son and if he has determined that you are his mate, then no confirmation is required.”

“Just like that?” Jim shifted. “There’s no mistake?”

Spock looked at Jim’s profile.

“Why do you believe there would be a mistake?” Sarek asked.

“Because I’m human. Right?”

“So is my wife.”

“Yes.” Jim nodded. “You chose her, didn’t you? And I can see why. She seems amazing. But me? I’m just a guy from Riverside, Iowa dreaming of space. Which there’s nothing wrong with that, I know. But Spock is Vulcan and really cool. If he’s confused or something, you’d want to know, right?”

“Jim,” Spock began, but his father held up his hand.

“Very well, James. I will meld with you and determine if you are bonded to my son.”

The communicator in Jim’s pants pocket suddenly beeped loudly. “Shit.” Jim clapped his hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry. Oh crap.” He stood and took the communicator out of his pocket. “It’s my dad. I swore I’d contact him when I got here. Damn it. I gotta talk to him. I’m sorry.”

Jim hurried from the living room already opening the communicator.

Spock folded his hands in front of him. “I am not mistaken.”

“I do not doubt it. I offered to give James peace.” His father paused. “He is more human then I even imagined.”

“Agreed. It will take some getting used to.”

“Why does he fear me?”

Spock shook his head. “I do not know. I was about to try to ascertain the information when you came upon us.”

“Illogical.”

Jim came rushing back into the living room area. “Uh, hey. Sorry. My dad was kind of mad. I promised to comm him when I got here and I forgot.”

Sarek inclined his head. “I trust he is satisfied as to the state of your well-being now.”

“Yeah.”

Spock’s father stood and went over to Jim. “If you will allow me?”

Jim exhaled. “What exactly are you going to do? I know what a meld is, but I haven’t even done that with Spock yet.”

“I will only touch your mind in what is known as a surface meld. You should not feel any pain and it will be brief. You need not be afraid, James. You are Spock’s mate, I would not harm you.”

“All right.” Jim glanced at Spock, who remained sitting on the sofa. Spock wanted to go to Jim but he did not want to interfere.

Sarek put his hand on Jim’s face. He did not speak and only had his hand on Jim’s face for ten point three seconds. He nodded when he lowered his hand. “The bond is in place, James, and is very strong.”

“That’s…that’s nuts.” Jim laughed. “But okay. If you both say so then I gotta believe it’s true. What exactly does that make you? My father-in-law?”

“If you wish. If human terms allow you to understand easier, then I am amenable to that. The bond will not fully mature until you take part in a ceremony on Vulcan.”

Jim frowned. “Yeah? Oh. Is that the koon-ut-kal-if-fee? I read about that.”

“We do not speak of it,” Sarek said. “I will see you both at dinner.”

Spock stood and went to Jim when his father left the room. He held his fingers out in the Vulcan kiss and he was pleased when Jim smiled and met them with his own.

“When is all that? The stuff your dad was speaking of.”

“You need not concern yourself with it for a few years, Jim.”

“Is that the whole Pon Farr thing? I read about that too. Sounds cool.”

“It is not…cool.”

“Well, okay. But it’s like lots of sex, right? I can totally get on board with that.”

Spock tried not to sigh. “James.”

“We don’t have to wait until then to have lots of sex I hope. I mean if I’m gonna have a husband I should totally get the fun part.” Jim sighed and sunk down into the chair Spock’s father had just occupied.

“You are tired.”

“Yeah. I mean Iowa is two hours ahead of San Francisco.”

Spock knelt beside him and touched his hand so that they would have skin to skin contact. Jim smiled.

“That’s nice. I like how it feels when our skin touches.”

“I, too, find it appealing.” Spock hesitated. “Given you have already experienced the effects of our bond, I am curious as to why you continued to have doubts, as you expressed to my father.”

Jim sighed. “It’s not that I don’t want to be bonded to you. I mean a part of me thinks the idea is freaking amazing. I’ve never met anyone like you, Spock, and believe me I think you are incredible. But I’m afraid the more you know of me, the less you’ll like and you’ll regret this whole thing. I’d hate to make you miserable, Spock.”

Spock closed his fingers around the palm of Jim’s hand. “I cannot pretend I had not expected to be bonded to a human, but I do not find the surprise unpleasant. Nor will I regret it.”

Jim smiled a little. “I hope that remains true.”

He decided a change of subject was in order. ‘Was your father very angry?”

“No. I mean he was upset and disappointed in me.” Jim sighed. “I totally didn’t think.”

Spock nodded. “I should have thought to remind you.”

“How can you remind me about something you don’t know about?”

“Still I should have guessed he would require—”

Jim stopped Spock with fingers on his lips. “It’s all on me, okay?”

“Yes.”

“Spock! Jim! Dinner,” Spock’s mother called to them.

Spock stood and helped Jim to his feet. “You are satisfied we are bonded now?”

Jim smiled and leaned in to human kiss Spock. “I’m starting to be very satisfied.”


	15. Exploration

“I shouldn’t have you helping me, Jim,” Amanda said to him as he brought the now empty dinner plates into the kitchen. “You’re a guest.”

“I’m going to be living here for three months, ma’am. I’m hardly a guest.”

“That’s true.” She smiled. “And Jim, it’s Amanda.”

“Amanda,” he agreed. “Dinner was really good.”

“I’m glad you thought so. It’s nice to get a compliment.”

Jim rinsed the plates in the sink. “Sarek and Spock don’t ever tell you that your food is good?”

She laughed. “They do not. Generally I am lucky to get a ‘the meal was adequate’ out of my husband. Spock would say it is not logical to state the obvious.”

He sighed. “I think they’re going to take some getting used to.”

Amanda came to stand beside him and took the rinsed plates from his hands and started filling the dishwasher. “They mean well, Jim. They aren’t trying to be insensitive. It is just their way.”

“I know. I mean I’ve totally read up on Vulcans. I’d read some about them even before Spock showed up in Riverside. But once he had, I read dozens of texts.”

“I have a few books I could loan you to read as well.”

“You read up on them too?” Jim asked, surprised. He wasn’t even sure why he was surprised.

“Of course. I didn’t automatically know everything either when I first met Spock’s father.” Her smile was wistful. “I just knew I wanted to know as much about them as I could find.”

“When you knew you were going to marry him or bond or whatever?”

“The day I met him,” Amanda said. “It was love at first sight. On my part, anyway.”

Jim grinned. “Yeah?” He looked around and then lowered his voice. “You weren’t intimidated or anything?”

“Just a little bit,” she admitted. “But also very intrigued. He was so exotic looking compared to any boy I’d ever seen. And so stiff and proper.” She sighed. “Yes, it was love.”

“I kind of felt the same about Spock.” Then realizing what he said, Jim felt himself turn red. “Well, maybe not the love part.”

She laughed and it was musical and very pleasant. “That can be our little secret.”

He nodded and handed her another rinsed plate.

****

Jim had never had a balcony before and as he stood out on it looking out over the city, he couldn’t help but notice the apartment was really up high. He’d never really thought about heights much before, but just now he couldn’t think of much else.

The door behind him slid open and he knew without turning around it would be Spock. He didn’t think that had anything to do with the bond, just he was starting to know Spock.

“Is it not cold out here?” Spock asked as he came to stand next to Jim.

“A little, yeah. But I’ve never been here before so I wanted to see.” Jim tilted his head up to look at the stars. “It’s beautiful.”

Spock was staring at him intently. “You are still anxious?”

Jim turned to look at Spock. “No. Well, I don’t know. It’s just, we’re really high up.”

“Oh. So your anxiety is related to the height of the balcony.”

“Yeah. It’s really far down.”

Spock looked down. “Correct. But you do not need to be concerned. This balcony is very sturdy.”

“Maybe it would help if you held me?” Jim suggested with a grin.

Spock arched a brow. “This will help your anxiety?”

“Oh yeah.”

He could see that Spock remained skeptical but he put his arms around Jim nonetheless and pulled him close. Jim leaned his head on Spock’s stiff shoulder. He closed his eyes and smiled.

“See, it’s nice.”

Spock did not relax his stiff posture but he did nod. “It is not unpleasant.”

Jim chuckled. “I am glad holding me is not unpleasant, Spock.”

“What did you speak of with my mother?” Spock asked after a moment.

“Vulcans. Mostly your dad.” Jim pulled back a little to look Spock in the eyes. “Hey, Spock, can I ask you something?”

“Affirmative.”

“Have you—have you, you know.”

“Clarify.”

Jim sighed. “You’re not a virgin, are you?”

“That is a highly personal question.”

“You’ve been in my mind and felt my emotions, how much more personal does it get?”

Spock inclined his head. “A valid point.”

Jim smiled. “So?”

“I am not a virgin.”

“Okay. So, do you wanna tell me who?”

Spock almost frowned. “Is this something human couples discuss?”

“I dunno. But it’s something I wanna discuss with you. You know about me and Louellen. And there have been a few guys I messed around with too.”

“Very well.” Spock released him and went to stand at the railing. “I had a male Vulcan sexual partner before leaving Vulcan.”

“Yeah? That’s pretty cool. What happened?”

“Happened?”

“I mean, were you in love or was it a one time thing or what?”

“There was no affection between us, it was a matter of physical release.”

“I didn’t know Vulcans were into that,” Jim said, and then grinned when Spock’s eyebrow rose. “But I am glad to know you like the physical aspect. Anyone else?”

Spock nodded, his cheeks slightly green. “I had a brief relationship with a fellow instructor at Starfleet.”

Jim frowned. “Male or female?”

“Female.”

“So an older woman then since you said you were the youngest instructor. Wait, is she still there?”

“Yes.”

Jim blew out a breath. “Not sure how I feel about running into your ex, Spock.”

“It has been over for months and lasted only two months,” Spock said.

“Who broke it off?”

“Why does that matter?”

Jim shook his head. “It just does.”

“Nyota did. She found our time together emotionally unfulfilling.”

“Nyota?”

Spock nodded. “Nyota Uhura. She teaches linguistics.”

Jim bit his lip. “Do you still have feelings for her?”

“No, I have feelings for you.”

He swallowed. “Does she know? About us, I mean.”

“I have informed her I am bonded, yes.”

“So you two still talk?”

Spock’s brows furrowed together. “We are friends.”

Jim turned away and stared out at the city. “You weren’t together with her when you came to Riverside, were you?”

He held his breath, waiting for Spock to answer. He didn’t know why it should bother him. Spock hadn’t even known him. He hadn’t known Spock. And hell, Jim had been with Lou. So why…why did this bug him so?

“No, I was not.”

He exhaled slowly, and then nodded. “Okay.”

“Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“Why does this distress you?”

“It doesn’t,” he lied.

Spock put his hands on Jim’s arms and turned Jim to face him. Spock’s dark eyes were intense and unreadable. “It does. I feel it. Why are you jealous?”

“I don’t know!”

“There is no need, Ashayam. You are my mate. There is no other.”

He blinked, feeling his throat constrict. “Isn’t that an endearment?”

“It is.”

Jim smiled, his chest not feeling quite so tight as it had a minute ago. “It is cold out here. Can we go inside?”

“Yes.”

Spock followed him inside and then to Jim’s room. For a moment, Jim thought Spock planned to continue on to his own room and he certainly did not want that. He grabbed Spock’s hand and pulled him inside the bedroom and then shut the door.

“Jim—”

“I still need comforting.” Jim looped his arms around Spock’s neck and kissed him. Spock’s lips were cool and kind of stiff.

“We should not—”

“We should. We definitely should. We’re bonded, that’s practically a marriage, right?”

“Jim—”

“We’ve both had sex. I want you, you want me.” Jim kissed the corner of Spock’s mouth. “Don’t you?”

Spock swallowed and his Adam’s apple slid down his throat. “It is not a matter of whether I desire you.”

Jim’s breath hitched. “Oh, hell. God, I love the way you just said that word.  _Desire_.”

Spock’s lips twitched. “You are incorrigible.”

“I know,” Jim acknowledged. “We don’t have to do everything if you wanna wait. I don’t know why you would, but that’s okay. But come on, please? I’ve been thinking about you ever since you rescued Sam and me from the Gorn.”

Spock stared into Jim’s eyes for so long he was certain the Vulcan was going to maintain his stance that they should sleep separately. And okay, if that was what Spock wanted, Jim would deal.

“I am amenable to some physical exploration,” Spock said softly. And then to Jim’s surprise—Spock always seemed to be surprising him—he took Jim’s hand and led them both over to the double bed. “I have been curious to touch more of your skin.”

Jim’s stomach fluttered and if he hadn’t known better he’d think he was nervous. Him? That seemed nuts. But this was  _Spock_. And he’d never had Spock before.

“I wanna touch you too,” he whispered.

Spock’s fingers slid under the hem of Jim’s T-shirt, cool and dry against his hot skin. The same sort of electric vibration he felt every time Spock touched bare skin jolted through him.

“Please,” Jim pleaded.

Spock inched the T-shirt up Jim’s abdomen, his hands following the path of the shirt and Jim quivered. It suddenly occurred to him he was just standing there letting Spock do all the work while he could be touching his Vulcan.

Jim didn’t bother with the slow sensual touch Spock employed, but instead yanked impatiently at Spock’s sweater until he got it to Spock’s armpits. ”Lift your arms.”

The eyebrow came up at the terse command, but to Jim’s delight, Spock did as ordered. And didn’t that put the image of him getting to order Spock around for the rest of their lives into his mind. He pulled off Spock’s sweater and tossed it to the floor, then took care of his own T-shirt until they stood together both staring at each other’s chests.

Jim smiled. “Wow, you really are gorgeous.” His words were rewarded with a slight green flush to Spock’s skin. He opened his mouth to say more but found himself knocked on his back on the bed, Spock on top. “What—”

Spock started kissing him. His lips were no longer cool and stiff but warm and demanding. His hand roamed Jim’s torso while his teeth nipped Jim’s bottom lip.

“God, Spock,” Jim moaned, his own hands slipping over the muscles of Spock’s back. He could feel Spock’s passion, his lust, and it was all directed at Jim and he was lost.

He arched up against Spock, feeling the hard ridge of Spock’s arousal through his pants. Jim’s breath caught and he scooted his hand between their bodies to squeeze the bulge there.

“Jim,” Spock hissed. He opened his lips on Jim’s and then sucked Jim’s tongue into his mouth.

Jim’s eyes closed as he gave himself to Spock’s kiss, the thrill of having Spock’s hands on him, stroking over skin. Gasping for breath, Jim broke the kiss. “Spock, please, I want—”

“Shh,” Spock said, kissing him tenderly. He lifted up off Jim enough for his hands to go to the buttons on Jim’s jeans.

Jim gulped as the zipper was slowly lowered and Spock’s fingers slipped into Jim’s briefs to curl around his erection. “Oh, fuck.”

Spock removed his hand from Jim’s briefs and Jim might have whined a bit at the loss. But Spock shook his head and pulled Jim’s jeans and briefs down enough for Jim’s dick to spring free. Then he took Jim’s hand and brought it to the snaps of his own pants.

Jim smiled and undid Spock’s pants with a little awkward eagerness, he admitted to himself. When Spock’s cock was free of its confines, Spock lay facing Jim on the bed. Jim reached for Spock’s cock and returned to kissing him.

They stroked each other then, fumbling a little as they learned what the other one liked, and Spock kissed Jim with an intensity he had never known and would not have expected. It was all too soon when Jim felt his balls drawing tight, but Spock was a fast learner and seemed to know exactly what pulls and tugs and touches Jim craved. And the feel of the silky, hard cock thrusting through Jim’s grip was enough to make Jim crazed.

“Spock,” Jim groaned against Spock’s mouth, hot breath fanning over his skin as Spock panted. “So-so good.”

“Yes,” Spock moaned, turning his face to bury it in Jim’s neck. Jim felt Spock’s teeth nip at the pulse of his throat and Jim couldn’t hold back a keening cry as his balls pulled tight and emptied all over Spock’s long, fabulous fingers.

Spock stiffened against him, the fingers of one hand tangling in Jim’s hair as he rocked into Jim’s grip on his cock, and then with a sudden soft cry, Spock came in Jim’s hand.

Chest heaving, Jim wrapped his arms around Spock and pulled him as close as he could. He knew Spock would probably want to go to his own room, but he wasn’t yet ready to let him go.

“S’nice,” he murmured, closing his eyes and resting his head on Spock’s chest.

“Indeed.” 


	16. The Tour

Spock rose before the sun and eased himself from Jim’s bed. He had not intended to spend the entire night with Jim, but now that he had, Spock could not regret it. His mind was more ordered than it had ever been and Spock was certain he had the bond with Jim to thank for it.

Jim still slept and in fact sort of sighed in his sleep and squished his face into his pillow. Spock resisted the urge to reach out and run his fingers over Jim’s bare skin and instead went into their shared bathroom.

After taking care of his hygienic needs, Spock went into his room. He dressed in a pair of black trousers and a black knitted sweater and made his way out to the kitchen.

“Good morning, Mother,” he said, spotting his mother sitting at the kitchen table with a plate of eggs and a mug of coffee, her preferred morning beverage. “You are up early.”

His mother was an early riser, but generally not as early as either Spock or his father.

She smiled. “Your father had to go in extra early this morning. After all these years together, he still doesn’t know how to get up and go about his business without making quite a bit of noise.”

Spock couldn’t imagine his quiet, serious father making that much noise, but he knew his mother had no reason to exaggerate. He went into the kitchen to brew his tea.

“Do you want me to make you breakfast or do you prefer to wait for Jim?”

“I will wait. Since I intend to bring him to the academy today for a tour of the campus he may wish to eat at a restaurant.” He finished brewing his tea and then took a seat at the table next to her. He lifted a brow at her smile. “What?”

“You are very pleased with your mate.”

Spock could not deny it. “I have found the experience of having a mate fulfilling.”

She hid a smile behind her coffee but Spock caught it none the less. “And you are not specifically pleased with Jim? Just any mate would have been okay?”

“Negative. But as you are aware, Jim is my t’hy’la so he is not just any mate.”

“You aren’t going to admit you really like him, are you?”

“I find him quite satisfactory.”

His mother laughed. “I am sure he would be pleased to hear it.” She rose from the table and went to rinse her plate off at the sink. “It’s going to rain later so be sure to take an umbrella.”

****

“You are restless,” Spock commented as he sat across from Jim at breakfast.

He had chosen a small café only one street away from Starfleet Academy. Jim had been excited about the tour of the academy. The summer program did not begin until Monday, three days from now.

“I’m pretty excited,” Jim said. He tapped his right foot rapidly. He picked up his coffee cup and drank from it.

“Perhaps you have had enough of that stimulating beverage.”

“Hmm? Oh the coffee? No, no, I’m fine.” Jim eyed Spock’s fried potatoes. “You gonna finish those?”

Spock pushed the plate toward Jim, who had already eaten three eggs, bacon, sausage, and potatoes of his own.

Jim’s smile was gorgeous. “Thanks.”

“You are not nervous, are you?”

“Well.” He shrugged.

“You are not beginning courses today, Jim. I will show you around the campus and you will perhaps meet some of your course instructors.”

Jim frowned. “Instructors? I thought Dr. McCoy was my instructor.”

“He’s your main one. More of a mentor, a counselor. All of your instructors will report your results through him so that he can track your progress. But you will take a variety of courses throughout the three month period. Because of your test results, Jim, you are on a bit of a fast-track program.”

“And then after this amazing program I’m just supposed to go back to Riverside until what?” Jim huffed out a breath. “How can I go back to that boring life?”

Spock knew he had to be the mature one here, so he forced himself to say, “Yes, you will return to Riverside.” His own stomach flipped at the loss of his mate for even a short time. “To finish high school.”

“I’m not gonna want to go back. I know it.”

“That is what your father agreed to, Jim. That is how you were allowed to come here.”

“I know that. But damn, I could take the GED or whatever. We both know I’d pass.”

“I believe you would also. But it is not that long and you will be able to return and join the academy full time.”

“You don’t think it sucks we’ll be separated?” Jim demanded, even as he shoveled a significant amount of potatoes into his mouth.

Spock had to choose his words carefully so he paused to sip his tea. “There will never be a time when I wish to be parted from you, however, given our choice of careers there may be times when it is inevitable. This will assist in preparing for that eventuality.”

Jim did not appear to be pleased with his carefully chosen words because his lips thinned and he didn’t reply.

“Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“May I make the suggestion that we do not dwell on our separation on the second day after your arrival? It is not for months and now is the time for us to learn our bond and about each other.”

Jim bit his lip and sighed. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“There is no need to apologize. If you are finished, I suggest we pay the check and go to the academy.”

“Let me just finish these up,” Jim said. As he was about to eat the last bite of Spock’s potatoes, he frowned again. “Did I just eat your food?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

“Why do you apologize?”

Jim blushed. “I shouldn’t have taken your food. Are you still hungry?”

“Jim, what is mine is yours,” Spock said gently. “You are always welcome to eat what I have.”

“I don’t think you could be more perfect.”

Spock raised a brow. “I am certain you will find that I am definitely not perfect.”

Jim laughed at that and then ate the last bite of potatoes. “Okay, I’m totally ready.”

****

Spock had stopped to talk to the dean of the academy during their tour which ended up taking a bit longer than he had anticipated. When he came out of the dean’s office, Jim was nowhere to be seen.

His lips thinning in disapproval, Spock set out to find his wayward mate. The campus was large and Jim could be anywhere.

He had gone ten point three minutes without any sign of Jim and Spock could not reach him on his communicator. Spock wasn’t even sure Jim had brought it with him since Spock had seen it sitting on the end table beside the bed just prior to their departure.

The sky, as his mother had predicted, had become dark and ominous. He had hoped to make their way home before rainfall.

Spock was growing rather annoyed when he finally saw Jim. He froze. Jim was talking to the linguistics instructor, Nyota Uhura. She had her long dark hair pulled back into a pony tail and she wore her black instructor’s jacket and skirt. He made his way over to the pair quickly.

“Nyota,” Spock said when he reached them. “It is agreeable to see you.”

She smiled. “Yeah, you too, Spock. I was just meeting Jim Kirk.” Her gaze searched his. “Your bondmate apparently.”

Spock looked to Jim who looked rather serene. Spock knew from the irritation thrumming through their bond it was a deceit. He barely refrained from clearing his throat. “Jim, why did you leave the dean’s waiting room? I told you it would be just a moment.”

“It was like thirty moments,” Jim said flippantly. Then he shrugged. “I got bored. And then I ran into Professor Uhura.”

“Jim will be in my linguistics class, of course,” she said.

“Of course,” Jim said with a smile. “I have no doubt I’ll get the top grade.”

“Pretty sure of yourself, cadet.”

“I’m just sure of my abilities.” Jim looked at Spock then with the same smile, which Spock had judged was fake. “I’m going to go check out the science building.”

Spock nodded. “I will be there shortly.” When Jim disappeared into the building, Spock turned back to Nyota. “He arrived yesterday.”

“He knows about us, doesn’t he?”

“Yes.”

Nyota nodded. “I figured. He doesn’t like me much.”

“It would be illogical to dislike you as he does not know you.”

She laughed. “Humans aren’t really logical, Spock. I’ve told you that dozens of times. He’s very young though. Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“He is my t’hy’la.”

“So you said. And I know what that is. Are you sure he’s really it for you?”

Spock was a little surprised by the question for he had no doubts whatsoever and hadn’t since first touching Jim back in Iowa, but he answered anyway, “I am certain.”

Nyota smiled. “Then I’m really happy for you. He’s young but he seems like a sweet guy behind all that cockiness.”

“He is,” Spock agreed. “And I better go to the science building before he gets himself into trouble. Good afternoon, Nyota.”

“See you, Spock.”

Spock walked the few feet to the science building to locate his mate. He found him in one of the classrooms talking to a man who waved his arms and hands around erratically. The man’s eyes were wide and somewhat crazed from what Spock observed.

Alarmed, Spock approached them. The man, whoever he was, wore the uniform of an instructor.

“Hey, Spock,” Jim said excitedly. “This is Bones!”

Spock barely refrained from frowning. “Bones?”

The man scowled at Spock and thrust out his hand. “Leonard McCoy.”

“Oh, no, no.” Jim laughed, smacking the man’s hand down. “Vulcans don’t shake hands, Bones.”

“Oh. Too good for that, huh?” McCoy said, still scowling.

Spock’s alarm increased. “ _This_ is Dr. McCoy?”

“Yeah, awesome, huh? This is his classroom. Decided to look for it and wa-la! Here it is.” Jim grinned. “This is Spock, by the way.”

“I gathered that.”

Spock blinked. “What is the meaning of the moniker Bones?”

“Oh something about his wife leaving him with nothing but his bones,” Jim said with a laugh. “He says it’s something people call him sometimes. Who cares? I like it.”

“Don’t be so smart, kid,” McCoy said with another scowl. It was much less serious than the ones he’d aimed at Spock.

Jim’s smile was unrepentant. “This is gonna be so cool.”

“I’m not a pushover, kid.”

“I request to see your qualifications and credentials, doctor.”

Jim and Dr. McCoy both turned to Spock, their eyes wide.

“Now just one damn minute you hobgoblin—”

“Spock, he’s fine,” Jim protested.

Spock straightened. “We will discuss this later. It is time to finish the tour and then return home, Jim. Before the rain becomes too heavy.”

“Okay. I guess I’ll see you Monday, Bones.”

Dr. McCoy nodded. “You will. And Spock? Check my credentials and qualifications all you want, they’re in perfect order.”

“Good day, Dr. McCoy.” Spock bowed slightly and steered Jim out of the classroom.

“You okay?” Jim asked as they exited the science building.

“I am merely concerned with the academy’s choice of a mentor for you. Dr. McCoy seemed a bit unbalanced.”

Jim laughed. “I liked him. He’s gonna be cool.”

“Your head instructor does not need to be _cool_ , he needs to be efficient and worthy of your intellect.”

“Well, I think he will be.” Jim eyed Spock as they walked toward another building. “What’s your real objection to him?”

“I told you, he seems unbalanced.”

“Not to me.” Jim eyed him. “I’m surprised you don’t already know him. You seem the type to know everyone around you.”

“Dr. McCoy is new here with the summer program on a temporary assignment after an injury during a space mission necessitated planet-side recuperation. I did research his Starfleet career and his background. Perhaps I did not look into him deeply enough.”

“It’s gonna be fine, Spock. He’s fine. I already like it here.”

Spock reluctantly nodded. “Very well.”

Jim smiled. “By the way, your ex is hot.”

“Her appearance is irrelevant to me.”

“Oh, sure. You didn’t hook up with her because she’s hot?”

“We were intellectually compatible.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Oh sure. And me? Are we intellectually compatible too?”

“Of course,” Spock answered immediately. “Our minds are meant for each other.”

“So it was my mind you were kissing last night?”

“Jim—”

“You already admitted you find me hot, Spock.”

“I did not deny this,” Spock said stiffly.

“Good.” Jim stopped him and touched his fingers to Spock's. His smile was gentle. “Because you know I feel the same way.”

Jim’s touch soothed Spock instantly. “You do not need to be jealous of Nyota, Jim.”

Jim’s smile widened. “I know. I’m not…really. I don’t like the idea of anyone touching you but me. I’ll get over it though.” He stroked Spock’s fingers again. “I think.”

Spock allowed the contact a moment more before pulling away. “Our public contact is not proper by Vulcan standards.”

“I’m not Vulcan.” Jim laughed and kissed Spock on the lips. It was quick and over before Spock could react. But he knew he was blushing. “Let’s finish the tour and go home.”

Spock cleared his throat. “Indeed.”


	17. Pet Names and Quiet Meditation

“Spock, you know we’ll be dry again, right?” Jim laughed at the expression on Spock’s face as he held the umbrella over his head. It had started to rain fifteen minutes earlier just as they were leaving the academy.

“That is an illogical thing to say, Jim, for I am well aware that we will dry out.”

“You just look really pissed.”

“I do not.”

Jim smiled. “Okay, babe, if you say so.”

That earned him an arched brow. “Babe?”

“Yep. I have to come up with some pet name for you and that’s the one I decided on.”

“Why that one in particular?”

He shrugged. “It seemed to be the one that flowed best, you know?”

Spock looked even stiffer as they walked under the umbrella together toward the apartment. They didn’t really fit, the two of them, but Spock had insisted. Consequently neither of them stayed very dry.

“Is this a requirement of human relationships?”

“Nah, but it’s a requirement of ours. Your other choices are sweetheart or sweetie, honey, or, um, darling.” Jim wrinkled his nose. “Don’t really like that last one. It doesn’t sound like something I’d say.”

“I cannot say I prefer any of those,” Spock admitted.

“Babe it is then. Hey, Spock?”

“Yes, Jim?”

“What does Pike do at the academy?”

“He only works there part time as a recruiter for those like yourself. Right now he is at Starfleet Headquarters.”

“Yeah?” Jim asked, eagerly. “Can we go there?”

Spock shook his head. “Not today. The rain is becoming heavier and Mother will be expecting us.”

Jim sighed. “Okay.” He stopped in front of a building they were about to pass. Loud, pounding music came from within. “What’s this?”

He peered up and saw the word _Obscure_ written over the door. His hand closed over the door handle.

“That is a club,” Spock said, his voice dripping with disapproval as he tugged Jim’s hand away from the door. “And you are underage.”

“Ah, come on, Spock, it could be fun.”

“It is not.”

Jim looked at him. “You’ve been there?”

“Once with Nyota.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Well, that’s why, Spock. You went there with _her_.”

“Why do you put an emphasis on her?” Spock asked, urging Jim to continue.

“Boring.”

“I thought you declared her hot.”

“Well, she’s hot enough, but she’s not for you,” Jim insisted. He grinned. “But you know that. Because _I_ am.”

“Yes,” Spock agreed.

“See?” Jim said with a grin. “Told you that you’re perfect. Does it rain on Vulcan?”

“Not a measurable amount. Nothing like Earth. It rains a lot here in San Francisco.”

“Think I’ll get to go there someday?”

“To Vulcan?”

“Yeah.” Jim scooted closer to Spock under the umbrella. “You saw where I came from. I’d like to see where you came from.”

“You will,” Spock replied. “To mature the bond we will need to go to Vulcan.”

“Oh, right, the Pon Farr.” Jim nodded. “Almost forgot that.” He grinned. “I’m looking forward to it.” He laughed at Spock’s scandalized look.

“Jim, it is not—”

“I know, I know. You don’t speak of it. It’s gonna be okay, Spock. Look, we’re here.”

“Indeed.” Spock pushed open the doors to the apartment building and Jim followed him inside. As they made their way up to the top floor, Spock said, “You should change to dry clothes, Jim. Would you like tea?”

Realizing he had not yet tried Spock’s spiced tea, Jim agreed and went to his room when they reached their apartment. He saw he had some messages from his brother, so he changed into some dry clothes and contacted Sam on his communicator.

“Hi, kiddo.”

“Sam! I haven’t had a chance to set up a terminal yet. We can talk face to face then. And Dad too.”

“I just wanted to see how you were settling in there. Everything okay, Jim?” Sam asked.

“It’s pretty cool so far. Today we went to the academy for a tour,” Jim said excitedly.

Sam laughed. “Sounds like you liked it.”

“It’s awesome.”

“How are the parents?”

Jim lay down on his bed and stared at the ceiling while he talked. “I think they’ll be fine. Spock’s mom is really sweet and even his dad is okay.”

“Well, everyone usually likes you anyway, Jim,” Sam said in a teasing voice. “And Spock? How’s that going?”

“Spock’s awesome.”

Sam chuckled. “If I didn’t know better I’d say my little brother’s in love.”

Jim felt his face heat. “Shut up.”

“It’s all right you know. If you are.” They both went quiet and then Sam cleared his throat. “What are you going to do now?”

“We’re having tea. With Spock’s mom, I think.”

“Tea, huh?” Sam sounded amused again.

Jim rolled his eyes. “How’s Aurelan feeling?”

“Very pregnant. She can’t wait for Peter to be born.”

Jim smiled. “Me, too. All right, I better go. I think Spock’s getting anxious.”

“How do you know?”

“I can feel it,” Jim said simply. “Through the bond.”

“Isn’t that weird?”

“A bit. But I guess I’ll get used to it. Talk soon, okay?”

“All right, kiddo. Bye.”

Jim sat up and scrubbed his hand across his face.

There was a tap on his bedroom door. “Jim?”

“Yeah, come in, Spock.”

Spock entered his room. He wore another black sweater, this one a turtle neck, and another pair of black trousers. Jim went to him and held out his fingers which Spock met with warmth in his eyes.

“You’re okay?”

“Yes.”

“You seemed anxious,” Jim said.

“Not overly so,” Spock replied. “You were taking longer than I had anticipated.”

“I was talking to Sam.”

“And he is well?”

“Yeah, yeah, he’s good.” Jim smiled, staring openly at Spock. “You look good enough to eat, by the way.”

“I am pleased by your appearance, also.”

Jim felt warmth spread through him and he realized it came from the bond, from Spock. Catching his breath, Jim decided to see if he could project something at Spock.

Spock’s eyes widened. “Jim?”

“Did it work?” Jim asked, stepping closer. “Did you feel what I felt?”

“You…you are in love with me?” Spock whispered.

Jim grinned. “I guess it did work then, huh? Your mom’s waiting.” Jim walked past Spock and out of the room. “Coming, babe?”

“Yes.”

Amanda was waiting for them at the dining room table. She smiled when she saw them. “There you are. Spock, are you all right? You look a bit dazed.”

Spock was still staring at Jim with something like wonder on his face. “Yes, Mother. I am fine.”

“How was your tour of the academy, Jim?” Amanda asked pouring tea for the three of them.

“It was awesome. I can’t wait. Bones is gonna be great.”

“Bones?”

“Leonard McCoy,” Spock said, coolly. Apparently back to himself. “Jim’s head instructor during the summer program. I intend to investigate him further.”

His mother gave him a quizzical look. “Why is that, Spock?”

Jim laughed and shook his head. “Spock thinks he’s nuts.”

“I do question his mental health.”

Jim reached over and patted Spock’s hand. “He’s fine, Spock. He’s just a little gruff. I like him.”

“What do you think of the tea, Jim?” Amanda asked with a smile.

“It’s, uh, spicy.”

Spock arched a brow. “It is spiced tea.”

He laughed again and patted Spock’s hand. “I know, babe.”

Amanda rose from the table. “I picked you up a chicken breast at the store, Jim. I’ll fix it for dinner for you.”

“You didn’t have to go to that trouble. I can eat what everyone else eats,” Jim assured her.

“It was no trouble, so don’t worry about it. I used to eat meat as well.”

“Won’t it offend Sarek?”

“He does not care what you eat, Jim,” Spock spoke up. “We do not concern ourselves with such trivialities.”

Jim sighed. “If you are sure.”

Spock stroked his fingers across Jim’s under the table. “I am certain. Would you care to play chess, Jim, before dinner?”

“Chess? Never played it before.”

“I will teach you if you would like.”

Jim smiled. “Okay, sounds cool.”

****

Jim hovered outside of Spock’s bedroom. He wasn’t sure if he should knock or just go to his own room to see if Spock would come to him. He had a feeling if he waited for Spock, then he’d spend the night alone.

He tapped lightly on the door, not wanting to draw too much attention to the fact he was seeking entry into Spock’s room. Honestly, Jim didn’t think Spock’s parents would mind that much. They seemed pretty accepting of the whole bond thing, but Jim thought it was all a matter of keeping up appearances.

The door opened to reveal Spock. “Jim?”

“Can I come in?”

Spock stepped aside to allow Jim to come into the room and then he closed the door. Jim noticed he had changed into a brown robe.

“What’s that?”

“It is my sleeping robe.”

“Doesn’t look very comfortable,” Jim remarked. He grabbed the collar. “Isn’t it confining while you sleep?”

“It is not. I will meditate first.”

“Oh.” Jim licked his lips and looked around Spock’s room. This was the first time he’d seen it. There were a few of what Jim assumed must be Vulcan artifacts and some containers of incense. “I guess I’m interrupting your routine, huh?”

“Yes.”

“That’s one thing about you, Spock. You never try to spare my feelings.”

Spock arched a brow. “You asked a question to which I replied.”

“You want me to leave?”

“Why are you here?”

“Well, because, you’re my boyfriend.”

“I am your mate.”

“Yeah, which means boyfriend to humans, by the way.” Jim rolled his eyes. “I was hoping we could…spend the night together. Like last night.”

“I see.” Spock’s expression was unreadable.

Jim paced around nervously. “We, uh, don’t have to do anything physical if you don’t wanna. We could just share a bed. I kind of liked sleeping with you last night.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “We could do something physical, though, you know, if you want.”

“Jim—”

“You’re gonna send me away, huh?”

“No, ashaya. You may stay. However, I must meditate before going to bed, so if you are to stay here, you must agree to be quiet.”

“Yeah?” Jim grinned. “I totally can be quiet.”

Spock’s eyebrow shot up. “I am not so certain.”

“I swear. You won’t even know I’m here. Well, while you’re meditating anyway. After, I’ll make sure you know.”

“Jim?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“It is now time to start.”

“Start?”

Spock sort of sighed. “Being quiet.”

“Oh.” Jim smiled. He made a zipping gesture across his mouth and flopped down on Spock’s bed. He sure hoped meditation didn’t take long.


	18. Adjustment

Jim was humming.

Spock tried to concentrate on the incense, on the meditation stone. He steepled his fingers together and kept his eyes closed.

Jim continued to hum.

Spock opened his eyes. “Jim.”

A long silence and then, “Yeah?”

“You are not being quiet,” Spock accused.

“I am.”

“You are humming.”

Jim sat up in bed. “Well, there’s this song I really like, you know? I was just humming the tune.”

Spock stared at him. “That is making noise.”

Jim frowned. “Well, but not much.”

“It is disturbing to my meditation.”

Jim licked his lips, in a way that seemed deliberate to distract Spock further since Jim could not be unaware that it aroused Spock. “All right, no humming.”

Spock closed his eyes so he would not see Jim’s tongue. “Good.”

Five minutes later, Spock’s eyes opened again. The bed creaked loudly and when Spock looked he saw that Jim was doing some sort of movement with his legs. Sawing them back and forth.

“What are you doing?” Spock demanded.

“What?”

“What are you doing?”

“Oh. I was getting restless just lying here, so I thought I’d do some exercises.”

Spock blew out a breath, doused the incense and stood up.

Jim blinked. “What? You done already?”

“No. I have decided that I will be unable to meditate with you here.”

“Oh.” Jim bit his lip. “I’m sorry. You want me to leave?”

Spock felt Jim’s disappointment through the bond and though it would likely be best to tell Jim to return to his room so Spock could meditate, Spock found he could not do so. There was a saying humans used. Something about being wrapped around someone’s else’s finger. Spock very much feared it applied to him.

“No, I do not.” Spock sat on the bed and rested his hand on Jim’s still moving leg. It stilled at last. “However, I wish to make a request of you for the future.”

“Okay?”

“When we retire for the night, I ask that you wait an hour before seeking me out here or expecting me to seek you out in your room.”

“An hour?” The way Jim asked made it sound like it was years.

Spock nodded. “Yes. To allow me to meditate. It is now clear to me, ashaya, that you are incapable of remaining quiet and still for an hour. In fact, I hypothesis that fifteen minutes would be difficult for you.”

Jim opened his mouth as if to refute Spock and then closed it. But then, he said, “You may be right.”

Spock held out his two fingers and was gratified when Jim met them with a smile. “It is something Vulcans require to function.”

“I know. I totally get that. Well, I don’t get that. Because honestly sitting around just thinking and not doing?” Jim shook his head. “But I mean, I know. I read up on all that Vulcan and meditation stuff. I just…wow. An hour?”

“Yes.”

Jim nodded. “All right. I guess I can do that. You want me to disappear for an hour now?”

“There is no point. My meditation has been disturbed.”

“I’m sorry.”

“There is no need for an apology. I should have explained my requirements more fully before.”

Jim smiled and rubbed his fingers along Spock’s, “This is nice. You know, I saw your mom and dad do this earlier. I was kind of surprised.”

“Why were you surprised?”

“Well, because.” Jim shrugged. “I didn’t expect your dad to be affectionate I guess.”

“It is common among Vulcan couples. My parents have shared touch this way for as long as I remember,” Spock advised.

“Well, it’s nice,” Jim repeated. Then he leaned toward Spock. “And human kissing is nice, too. Don’t you think?”

Spock’s gaze went to Jim’s lips. “I would not quite use that term.”

“No?” Out came the tongue to trace the bottom lip and Spock was mesmerized. “What term would you use?”

“I can think of no term to describe it,” he admitted. He tilted his head as Jim kissed him softly.

“I really want you to fuck me,” Jim said, his tongue now tracing over Spock’s lips.

Spock could not hold back a shiver as he found himself instantly aroused. “Jim—”

“Please don’t say no. Please?”

“I do not wish to do so.”

“Thank God.”

“But—”

“Oh, no. Not a but.”

“It would be wise to wait.”

Jim blinked and pulled back, looking away, and Spock instantly regretted it. He could feel Jim’s distress through their bond as well.

“Ashaya,” Spock said softly. He touched Jim’s jaw and turned Jim’s face to look at him. “I desire you.”

“Then why?”

Spock hesitated. “Jim, I ask that you be honest with me.”

“I-what?”

“I know that you have been with the human female Louellen.”

Jim nodded.

“You spoke of messing around with males.” Spock gently stroked Jim’s jaw. “Did that involve sexual intercourse?”

Jim’s gaze searched Spock’s. “Well…no.”

“I suspected as much. Given that, your age, and the fact we are just becoming acquainted with each other and our bond, I thought perhaps to take things a little slow with sexual intimacy.”

Jim bit his lip. “If you think so.”

Spock kissed him. “It does not mean we cannot do other things, ashaya.”

He was rewarded by one of Jim’s beautiful smiles. “Yeah, like?”

“Take off your clothes and I will show you,” Spock ordered.

Jim’s blue eyes practically glowed as he scrambled to do just that. When he was naked and lying back on the bed, Spock’s gaze raked over the perfection that was his bondmate. All that bare skin exposed and waiting for Spock to touch it. He drew in a sharp breath.

“What about you?” Jim asked, licking his lips. “Should you be naked?”

“It is not necessary for this.”

Jim’s eyebrows furrowed together. “But—”

“Shh,” Spock stopped him with fingers on Jim’s lips. Spock lay beside Jim on the bed and splayed his hand over Jim’s bare chest. “I am going to touch your mind.”

“My mind?”

“Your pleasure points are in your brain, ashaya. You will see.”

“Only my mind though?” Jim asked, looking down at his erect penis.

“No.” Spock closed a fist over the tip of Jim’s erection.

“Spock,” Jim gasped, arching into Spock’s grip.

“Now,” Spock said barely above a whisper. “Try to be quiet. My room is closer to my parents’ room than yours is.” His other hand found Jim’s meld points.

Jim nodded frantically. “Anything, anything, just, just please.”

Spock’s fingers slid along Jim’s length even as he entered his bondmate’s mind, seeking the pleasure points.

“Sp-Spock.”

“Shh, ashaya.”

He found the points and stroked them with his mind even as his grip tightened on Jim’s penis, sliding over the slickening, soft skin.

Jim’s eyelids half-closed and he leaned his head back against the pillows, breathing heavily. He was beautiful and he belonged to Spock.

His bondmate wouldn’t last long, Spock knew. He was already showing signs of sensation overload and Jim couldn’t seem to keep his moans from spilling out of his lips.

Spock decided to stop the sounds by kissing him, nipping his lips, scraping his teeth over Jim’s plump mouth. It was enough to send Jim over the edge and he gripped Spock’s biceps, pushing into Spock’s fist, even as cum erupted from the tip all over Spock’s fingers.

Jim panted as Spock pulled him close, easing his head down to Spock’s chest. He petted Jim’s hair while he waited for Jim’s breaths to calm.

When long minutes past with no words from Jim, Spock finally had to ask, “Are you well?”

“Gah.”

“Jim?”

Jim shook his head. Spock became alarmed and rolled Jim to lie on his back while Spock examined his bondmate.

“Explain,” he ordered.

“I’m…fine.”

“You are sure?”

Jim blinked, then nodded. “Just. Wow. That was like the best orgasm of my life.”

“Jim,” Spock admonished, knowing he was now flushed green.

Jim laughed. “You’re amazing, babe. But what about you?”

Spock cupped Jim’s jaw. “I am content for now.”

“You sure?”

“I am pleased with our exploration for tonight. Perhaps tomorrow night we will explore more.”

Jim yawned. “We so are.”

Spock pulled Jim into his arms and told him to sleep.

 


	19. Getting Lost

“Do they often leave you alone?” Jim asked Amanda as he helped her prepare them breakfast the next morning.

“I don’t mind,” she assured him. She handed him the bread for the toast they planned to have and he popped it in the toaster. “Sarek has duties as ambassador. He made sure I understood it would mean separation for us at times. For a time when Spock was small, the two of us stayed on Vulcan while Sarek was on Earth.”

“So you were apart? For how long?”

Amanda seemed to think about it. “The longest was eighteen months.”

Jim blinked and stared at her. “Eighteen _months_?”

“Yes. It was hard, but not impossible. The three of us got through it. But, I think it made Sarek realize he wanted his family with him when he traveled to Earth, which is why we are here now.”

Jim hated the sound of that. Being parted from Spock for a year and a half? Wait, was that how long it would be when he was forced to go back to Riverside? Or longer?

“Anyway,” Amanda said with a smile. “Spock will be back before his father likely. But he had some meetings at the Academy and preparations for the summer program coming up.”

“He told me.” Spock had awakened him before the sun came up to tell him he had to get ready to go to the academy and Jim should continue to sleep. In his own room. Jim had reluctantly moved to the room Spock’s parents had given to him. He guessed he understood. But, honestly, he suspected they knew what was up between their son and Jim anyway.

“Gives us a chance to talk,” Amanda said. She handed a bowl of fruit to him. “Put that on the table, would you, dear?”

Jim put the bowl of fruit on the dining room table and then went to pour himself more coffee.

“It’s nice to have another coffee drinker in the house. Spock and my husband only drink tea.”

“Must be a Vulcan thing.”

“Not sure. I don’t think I’ve ever met a Vulcan who drinks coffee but there might be some. I haven’t met _every_ Vulcan.”

She brought the rest of their breakfast to the table and they sat down to eat.

“Did you know Sarek’s parents?” Jim frowned. “Wait, are they still alive?”

She laughed. Amanda had a great laugh, Jim realized. “Yes, Jim. They are both alive and on Vulcan. I met them prior to my marriage with Sarek.”

“Did you get married or just bonded?”

“They think of bonding as marriage or the equivalent. But Sarek and I also got married in a human ceremony. Since he was the ambassador to Earth and he was marrying a human he thought it was logical.”

Jim made a face.

“What?”

“I was just thinking I’ll probably have to meet them all someday, you know? Kind of not looking forward to that.”

“Yes, you will,” Amanda admitted. “But it won’t be for a while. Our plan is not to go back to Vulcan for a couple of years.”

Jim bit his lip. “I won’t have to go then will I?”

“I’m sure Spock will expect it,” she said gently. “But it will be all right, you know. I can’t say meeting them the first time wasn’t intimidating. Many of them view humans as inferior.”

“Inferior?” Jim repeated. “Well they can all kiss my ass.” He clamped his hand over his mouth. “Sorry.”

Amanda laughed, her eyes sparkling. “We’ll leave that between us too. I don’t think Sarek would approve of you telling his family they can kiss your ass.”

Jim laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I guess not.”

“How do you like living here so far, Jim?” she asked him after a moment of silence.

“I like it a lot. Can’t wait to go to the academy though.”

“And Spock?”

He smiled. “Oh, Spock’s great.”

“I’m glad you think so. When Spock first told us he found his t’hy’la and he was human, I admit I was concerned.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded. “Spock’s had a difficult time adjusting to being a child of both worlds. He had some…disagreements with Vulcan children when he was small. Sarek wanted him to be bonded to a Vulcan female as a child as is their way.”

“Really?”

“I talked him out of it. Told him he should allow Spock to choose his own path when he was ready. And that turned out to be right because he found you.” She smiled at Jim. “But Spock has never had a lot of friends. He isolates himself from both Vulcans and humans. He admires Captain Pike although I’m not sure Spock considers him a friend but rather a person in a position of authority.”

“He’s friends with his ex-girlfriend,” Jim mumbled.

Amanda sipped from her coffee. “Nyota Uhura?”

He tried not to wince at the name. He nodded. “Yeah. You know her?”

“He brought her to lunch here once while they were seeing each other.” Amanda shrugged. “I could tell then they were better friends than anything else.”

“I don’t like her.”

“Jim, I assure you, there is no reason for you to be jealous of her or anyone else where Spock is concerned. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Even before you came to San Francisco, he could talk of little else once he met you in Riverside. And as soon as you did come here, I knew I needn’t have worried about Spock having you as his t’hy’la. You’re a perfect match.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely. I probably shouldn’t say so, but I believe Spock is quite content with you as his bondmate.”

“I hope so. I’m kind of afraid to ask,” Jim admitted.

“You should.” She stood up and started clearing their plates. Jim got up to help her.

****

Jim decided after breakfast to go for a walk. Amanda had warned him to bring an umbrella, but Jim had not. It was clear when he left the apartment.

He wasn’t even sure where he was going, he just decided he may as well explore some of the city while Spock was busy without him. He’d never been in a big city the size of San Francisco and he kept walking for some time until he got to a wharf. He bought and ate some fish and then headed back in what he thought was the direction he’d come but he ended up getting totally lost.

He’d stupidly left his communicator behind because, well, he just hadn’t thought about it at the time he’d left the apartment. He hadn’t expected to be gone long but now he thought as he looked at the sky, getting dark with clouds, he’d probably been gone for hours.

“Well, shit,” Jim said out loud. He bit his lip and looked around the intersection he stood in trying to see if any of it looked at all familiar. It didn’t, of course. And he felt a big fat rain drop hit the top of his head.

“Just great.” He walked a little further in one direction, but it looked kind of unfriendly, so he went back the other way and finally asked someone.

Still by the time he got going in the correct direction, the skies had opened up and he was getting soaked with cold rain and even colder wind.

When he could see the apartment building, Jim finally gave into the relief he felt. He hadn’t even realized how anxious he was. And then he saw Spock walking in his direction. He wore a black hooded rain coat and his face was a mask of fury.

Jim ran up to him, reaching for him. “Spock!”

“Not now. I do not wish to make a public display,” Spock said coolly. He closed his hand around Jim’s wrist and tugged him into the building. They rode up the elevator without speaking but Jim could feel Spock’s agitation and anger through their bond.

As soon as they entered the apartment, Spock called out, “I have found him, Mother.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Amanda said from the kitchen area.

Jim felt instantly guilty for worrying her, but Spock was pulling him toward his room. He would apologize to her later.

As soon as he got Jim’s door closed, Spock asked, “Where have you been?”

“Can I get out of these clothes? I’m freezing.”

Spock nodded curtly but he followed Jim when he went into their bathroom. He simply stared as Jim peeled off the wet clothes and draped them over the shower door. For some reason, Jim felt extra exposed and embarrassed as Spock continue to watch him without expression. He pulled on a robe then and walked back into his room, with Spock still on his heels.

“I went for a walk,” Jim said.

“You have been gone for five hours.”

Jim’s eyes widened. “Was I?”

“You were unaware?”

“I knew it was a while, but not that long. God, no wonder my legs feel like jelly.”

Spock’s brows furrowed. “Explain.”

“Just, you know, wobbly.” Jim shivered. “I’m freezing.”

Spock sat on the edge of Jim’s bed. “Come here.”

Jim sat next to him and was grateful when Spock pulled him into his arms and held him close. “I got lost.”

“Why did you not have your communicator?”

“I didn’t even think about it. Back home—”

“Jim, t’hy’la, you are not back home. San Francisco is unfamiliar to you and parts of it are dangerous. Without some way to reach you, it could have taken many hours to locate you. You are fortunate you found your way back here. I was about to look for you.”

Jim snuggled closer to him. “I asked for directions.”

“If anything were to happen to you—”

“I know,” Jim said softly. “It would kill my dad.”

Spock nodded. “Yes. And I, too, would find it unpleasant.”

Jim swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’m sorry.”

“Why did you not wait for me to accompany you?”

“I was bored and I really didn’t plan on going far. Did I upset your mom?”

“She was concerned for your welfare. We both were.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

“I know you are.” Spock smoothed his hand over Jim’s hair. “You are my responsibility, ashaya. You are my mate and I promised your father to watch after you.”

Jim nodded and hugged Spock tighter. He felt Spock surround him with comfort and calm…affection. He smiled. “You forgive me?”

“Yes. Now, I want you to take a hot shower and get into dry clothes. Come out when you are finished.”

“What are you going to do?”

“My father has invited guests to dine with us tonight,” Spock explained. “I am helping Mother prepare some traditional Vulcan dishes.”

Jim pulled back from Spock’s arms and stared at him, wide eyed. “Wait, what? Are they-are they Vulcan?”

Spock nodded. “Yes, Jim.”

“Oh, my God.”

“You will remain calm,” Spock said in his flat no-nonsense Vulcan voice. ”

“But—”

“T’hy’la.”

Jim nodded. “I’ll try.”

Spock offered his fingers which Jim met, allowing it to soothe him, but Spock took his fingers away too soon, and then he stood. “Come out when you are ready,” he told Jim again.

“All right.”

And then Spock left and Jim remained sitting on the bed, feeling a bit lightheaded.

 _Shit_. A household full of Vulcans.


	20. Guests

“You remember your kin, Stonn,” his father said to Spock as he introduced the three Vulcans he had brought home with him. “And his bondmate, T’Pring.”

Spock nodded and held up his hand in the ta’al. “Welcome to our home, Stonn, and mate of Stonn, T’Pring.”

“And this is Serran, their colleague from the Vulcan Science Academy.”

Serran was a young Vulcan, somewhere around Spock’s age. He said, “I offer my name to you.”

Spock replied, “I reciprocate.”

Sarek turned to Jim who stood off to the side of the living room being surprisingly quiet. Jim had dressed in brown slacks and a beige shirt. He showed no outward signs of stress but Spock was aware through their bond he was anxious.

“And this is James, the mate of my son.”

Jim glanced at the three Vulcans. “Hi,” he said simply, forgetting to do the ta’al.

“This is your mate, Spock?” Stonn asked, staring at Jim. “I was not aware you were bonded.”

“We are t’hy’la,” Spock said.

Stonn raised a brow. “A t’hy’la? You? You are not even fully Vulcan.”

Spock stiffened but would not allow Stonn to draw his ire as he once had when they were children. “Nevertheless, the bond between myself and Jim has been confirmed.”

“A human,” T’Pring murmured. “How…unusual.”

Spock could feel Jim’s irritation and he tried to use the bond to advise Jim not to rise to their bait.

“Shall we adjourn to my study until my wife has dinner prepared?” Sarek suggested into the suddenly tense silence.

Stonn and T’Pring began to follow Sarek immediately but Serran held back.

“Serran? Are you coming?” Stonn asked.

“In a moment,” Serran replied. Spock had noticed the young Vulcan had not stopped staring at Jim. He continued to do so even as he took a few steps closer to Spock’s mate. “I have never met a human such as you. May I have your name?”

“Uh, sure,” Jim said.

Serran stepped even closer to Jim. “Your eye color is…striking. Is it a family trait?”

“Yeah, I guess so. My whole family has blue eyes.”

“Then I am certain your family is quite aesthetically pleasing.”

Jim blinked, glanced uncertainly toward Spock. “Thanks?”

Spock clenched his fists.

“Spock? Can you help me in the kitchen for a moment?” Spock’s mother called from the other room.

Spock did not want to leave his mate alone with Serran but he had no logical reason to refuse to do so or to ignore his mother’s request. However, there was no reason he could not bring his mate with him either.

“Jim, I am certain Mother could use another helper. Will you accompany me to the kitchen?”

Jim nodded rapidly. “Definitely.” He smiled at Serran which annoyed Spock. “Excuse me.”

Serran inclined his head. “Perhaps I will sit beside you at the meal.”

Spock narrowed his eyes. That was certainly not going to be the seating arrangements. As soon as Jim reached Spock, Spock held up his two fingers and he was not only gratified that Jim touched them but also that Serran witnessed it. Spock knew he was behaving illogically but Jim was his mate. Spock would allow no other near him.

“There you are,” his mother said when they entered the kitchen. “How are our guests?”

“They went with Father to his study,” Spock replied.

“So Stonn is related somehow?” Jim asked.

“A cousin. T’Pring was bonded to him when they were children. I am unfamiliar with the other one.”

Jim smiled. “Yeah and you dislike him.”

His mother laughed. “Jim, keep your voice down.” She whispered, “Why does he?”

“He’s jealous,” Jim whispered back.

“I am not.”

“Bond works both ways, babe.”

“He does show an unusual amount of attention to that which does not belong to him,” Spock said coolly. “However, it would be illogical to be jealous.”

Jim smiled and patted Spock’s hand. “It would be because it’s totally unnecessary. I only have eyes for you.”

Spock felt unexpected warmth at Jim’s words but he straightened. “I was not concerned.”

“Of course not.” Jim turned to Spock’s mother. “What do you need help with?”

   ****

They had a circular table and Spock had placed himself in charge of the seating arrangements, therefore, he’d placed Jim between himself and his mother. His father went next to his mother. Serran next to him and then finally Stonn and T’Pring, with T’Pring on the other side of Spock.

Though it was hardly logical, Spock found having his mate next to him and far away from Serran quite pleasing. He did not miss the looks Serran kept sending Jim’s way, however.

“James,” Serran said when the conversation had lapsed. “Are you originally from San Francisco?”

“No. From Riverside.”

“Is that a planet?” Serran asked.

“No a city. In Iowa.”

“Ah.” Serran nodded. “Did you and Spock meet here?”

Sarek cleared his throat, but it did not stop the inquiry as all three visiting Vulcans had their attention on Jim.

“No, in Riverside,” Jim replied.

“How unusual,” Stonn murmured.

Jim tensed next to Spock. “What’s unusual about Riverside?”

“Stonn means no offense,” T’Pring spoke up.

“It is true I find the circumstances of your bond worthy of questioning,” Stonn said.

“What?” Jim’s voice rose.

Spock projected calm through the bond. ”As I already stated, our bond has been confirmed.”

Stonn nodded. “Indeed. And if I think about it, Spock, I should not be surprised.”

“Why is that, Stonn?” Jim asked, his gaze narrowing.

Despite his efforts to calm his mate, Spock could feel Jim’s ire.

“Due to his disadvantage on his maternal side, I should have suspected if Spock bonded with anyone it would be a non-Vulcan. A human makes logical sense since Spock himself is human. Pure Vulcans would not want to mate with him,” Stonn explained.

“Now wait a minute.”

“Jim,” Spock said in a low voice.

Spock’s mother stood. “It’s time for the course. I’ll be right back.” And she disappeared into the kitchen. Spock doubted she was upset. She was used to this from Vulcans. Spock’s father’s expression remained stoic.

“No, no.” Jim’s eyes flashed angrily. “You think you can insult Amanda in her own house? Disadvantage? I don’t see any disadvantage.”

“You too are human. No offense is meant, James. It is well known humans are inferior to Vulcans. I merely state factual knowledge.”

“Oh yeah? Well it’s not well known to me and I don’t accept it. It’s arguable with me, but there’s nothing wrong with Amanda. And Spock? He’s better than all three of you put together.”

“Human emotional responses,” Stonn said in a weary voice.

“Yeah, well, I don’t know about you superior Vulcans,” Jim said sarcastically. “But where I come from we’re taught to respect our hosts and not insult them in their own home.”

“James,” Spock’s father said coldly. “That will be enough.”

Jim pushed away from the table and stood. “Yeah, you’re right. Enjoy the rest of the  _human_  cooked meal.”

Spock watched as his mate stormed from the room and down the hall. His distress and anger still thrummed strongly through the bond.

“Please accept our apologies,” Spock’s father said. “He is young and human. He does not yet have control of his emotions.”

Stonn waved that away. “No offense is taken where none was meant. Since our arrival on Earth we have experienced such behaviors frequently. It is most illogical but expected.”

They changed the subject to Vulcan Science Academy matters and Spock’s mother came out from the kitchen with the next course. She frowned at Jim’s empty chair but she did not question it. Not in front of their guests.

It was not until Stonn, T’Pring, and Serran left the apartment that Spock sought out his mate. The outer door to his room was locked so Spock used the door through their shared bathroom.

Jim lay on his back, his knees bent and his arms crossed under his head. He stared at the ceiling.

“Are you hungry?” Spock asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“No.”

“Jim—”

“Look, I know I screwed up. It’s just they made me angry. They can say whatever they want about me. Whatever. But they can’t say shit about your mom and you. It’s not right.” Jim sighed. “I’m sorry I embarrassed you and your dad though. He must hate me.”

“To feel such a strong emotion toward you is not in his nature.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “That makes me feel  _loads_  better.”

“Jim, my father does not hate you. In fact I believe he approves of you.”

“He didn’t approve of that.”

“No,” Spock acknowledged. “My father believes it is just as illogical to berate guests in his home as you believe it is not right for them to insult their hosts.”

Jim sighed. “I guess. I should apologize. To him. Not them.”

“Later when you have calmed down.”

“I’m sorry, Spock. I shouldn’t have embarrassed you like that.”

“Your apology is not necessary.” Spock placed his hand on Jim’s leg. “They were trying to bait you.”

Jim smiled a little and put his hand on Spock’s. “I know. I still think they’re jerks.”

“In the end it doesn’t matter what they think, Jim. Our bond is ours. And what anyone else says is irrelevant.”

Jim sat up and scooted over to where Spock was. He leaned over and kissed Spock’s cheek. “You’re right. You’re always right.”

“Usually, yes,” Spock agreed, letting his amusement show through their bond.

“I should go help your mom clean up.”

Spock nodded. “I am sure she would appreciate it.” He stood, took Jim’s hand and pulled him up. “Taluhk nash-veh k'dular.”

Jim smiled a little. “Vulcan?”

“Indeed. Come, let us go help Mother.”

“Wait! What does it mean?”

Spock unlocked the door and went out into the hall.

“Spock!”


	21. Fathers

Jim hesitated outside of Sarek’s private study. He knew he needed to apologize for yelling at Sarek’s guests and leaving in the middle of dinner but really Stonn and T’Pring had made him so mad.

Biting his lip, he tapped lightly on the door.

“Enter.”

Jim stood there.

“Enter,” Sarek said again.

Jim pushed the door open. “Sarek, do you have a minute?”

Sarek nodded and gestured to a chair in front of his desk. “Please sit, James.”

So he did, though he found the high-backed chair stiff and unyielding. Uncomfortable.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry for disrupting dinner.”

“Humans find it difficult to quell their rising emotions,” Sarek said. “Young humans especially.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be like this fifty years from now,” Jim admitted. “They just…made me so angry.”

“There will always be those in the world who wish to incite you, James. You must learn to pick your battles.”

“The things they said didn’t bother you?”

“They are young and foolish and have not learned to govern their tongues. There is a misconception that Vulcans do not feel, but, in fact we do. Our emotions run deep. As a people we once nearly destroyed ourselves which is why we follow logic now.”

Jim nodded. ”Yeah, okay.”

“You may go, James,” Sarek told him.

Jim rose and walked to the door. He stopped and turned around. “You said to pick your battles, right?”

“Yes.”

“If Amanda and Spock aren’t worth fighting for, sir, then excuse me, what is?”

Sarek said nothing.

Jim turned to open the door.

“James?”

“Sir?”

“I informed Stonn and T’Pring that they were no longer welcome in our home,” Sarek said quietly.

Jim tried not to smile, but he was pretty sure he failed. “That is good to hear.”

Sarek nodded and Jim left his study.

He started walking toward Spock’s room and then remembered the whole meditate for an hour stuff from the night before. He turned and went to his own room instead. Earlier he’d set up the terminal so he could do face to face contact with his family so he decided now would be a good time to check in with his dad.

“Hey, Dad!” Jim said, smiling when his dad appeared.

“Jimbo.”

“Dad.”

His dad laughed. “You look pretty happy. I take it things are going well there.”

“Really well. I love it here.” Jim hurried to say, “Not that I don’t love it there.”

“Hey, I was young once, Jim,” his dad said. “I get it. It’s exciting. New places. New experiences.”

“How old were you when you met Mom?”

“Not as young as you. We met in Starfleet Academy. We had a class together.”

Jim smiled. “Yeah?”

“She was the prettiest girl in the whole academy. Actually Pike asked her out before I did.”

“Captain Pike?” Jim asked, eyes wide.

“What other Pike is there?” His dad chuckled. “Yeah. Fortunately for me she didn’t much care for Chris and wouldn’t go out with him a second time.”

“How come she didn’t like him?”

“He spilled a drink all over her. So when she said no for the second date, I asked her out. And the Kirk charm won her over.”

Jim grinned. “Always does.”

“Sure does. How are things going with Spock?”

“Fine, Dad.”

“He’s not using some Vulcan mind trick on you or anything?”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Seriously? No.”

“Maybe you wouldn’t know about it. He does claim to have some bond thing with you. Isn’t that some mind thing?”

“Yeah but it’s not a trick.”

“You would like him even without that?” his dad asked.

“I more than like him and yes.”

“Jim, I know at your age it’s really easy to think you’re in love but—”

“Dad, I really don’t need the ‘you’re too young to know what love is’ speech, okay?”

“It’s not a speech,” his dad mumbled.

“I love you, Dad, really. But you don’t know anything about Spock or how I feel about him.”

“I don’t want you making any mistakes.”

“I know. But I’m going to make mistakes and there’s nothing you can do about that. That’s how we learn. But Spock, Dad? He is definitely not a mistake.”

“You sure?”

Jim smiled. “Yeah. Very.” They talked for a few more minutes about other things, but when his dad yawned, Jim said, “I should let you go. I know it’s late there.”

“Yeah. I’m beat.”

“Say hi to Sam and Aurelan. And Peter.”

“He’s not born yet.”

“Well, say hi anyway.” Jim laughed. “Night, Dad. Live Long and Prosper.”

His dad sighed. “Damn Vulcans. Night, Jimbo.”

Jim figured Spock still had some more meditation time so he went and laid down on the bed. It had been a long day what with him getting lost in San Francisco and the snooty Vulcans at dinner.

He decided he would close his eyes for just a little bit, but a while later he felt fingertips lightly stroking his forehead. He blinked his eyes open to find Spock sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Hey.” Jim smiled.

“I did not intend to wake you.”

“No, I’m glad. You done with your meditation, babe?”

“I am.”

Jim nodded and licked his lips. “Come on, come lay beside me.”

“I should go back—”

“Oh, no, you shouldn’t. I have something I just have to do to you. Besides, we’re bondmates, remember? We sleep together.”

Spock shook his head. “Not all mates do.”

“Spock, I’m only gonna be here for three months, we’re sleeping together. Now get your Vulcan ass into this bed.”

Spock arched a brow but stood up. He wore the brown robe he’d worn the night before. “You will need to get up if we are to lay under the covers.”

Jim nodded and got up. He peeled off his shirt and pants until he was left in only his boxer shorts. He yanked the covers down, then eyed Spock. “You gonna wear that to bed, babe?”

“What would you prefer?”

“Well, since you asked, I would prefer you naked.” Jim grinned.

“I get too cold.”

“All right, but as long as I can get to the goods.”

Spock stared at him. “The…goods?”

“Yeah,” Jim pointed to the bed. “On your back.”

“Ashaya—”

“Spock, that thing I want to do to you? I wanna blow your mind. Well first your cock, and then your mind.” Jim winked. “Bed.”

Spock hesitated but then with a short nod, he placed himself carefully on his back on the mattress. Jim had to bite back a laugh because he looked so prim and proper.

“Spock?”

“Yes, Jim?”

“I’m gonna suck your cock not execute you.” Now he was laughing. “Relax.”

Jim crawled onto the bed and undid the tie at Spock’s waist. His cheeks were flushed green.

“You aren’t embarrassed are you? Spock, it’s just me. I’m your t’hy’la.” He kissed Spock’s stomach.

“I know.”

Jim smiled and then scooted down a bit to kiss Spock’s thighs. Spock quivered, but did not tense. Spock was already half aroused, so Jim wrapped his hand around the base of Spock’s dick and opened his mouth over the tip. Jim’s tongue darted out to swipe up the drop of pre-cum that appeared there and Spock groaned.

Encouraged, Jim sucked the head of Spock’s dick into his mouth. It was a bit salty and musky but not unpleasant. He bobbed up and down on the tip for several long moments just enjoying the sound of Spock’s heavy breathing.

After a bit he rolled Spock’s balls and then sucked in the shaft deeper almost to the back of his throat.

“Jim,” Spock gasped, rising up from the bed.

Jim hummed in approval and sucked harder and deeper until Spock made an almost mewling sound as his fingers dug into the sheets on the bed. He took Spock to the back of his throat, sucking and swallowing until his mate began to thrash underneath him.

“Jim, I—”

Jim nodded, encouragingly and Spock shot cum into his mouth. He swallowed as much as he could, but some dribbled onto his chin when he released Spock’s spent cock.

He kissed Spock’s thighs again and then crawled up next to his lover, wrapping his arms around Spock. Spock’s face and neck were flushed green.

Jim smiled down at him. “Did I blow your mind?”

Spock’s brown eyes were soft and warm with affection. “I believe you did.”

Jim kissed him and then snuggled into contentedly.

“You do not wish reciprocation?”

“No, babe, this was all for you.”

“But—”

Jim brushed his fingers over Spock’s brow. “Spock, please? Okay?”

“If you are certain.”

“I am.” He kissed Spock and then turned over to his side. Spock turned too and wrapped his arms around Jim’s middle, spooning them. “Good night, babe.”

“Good night, ashaya.”


	22. An Opportunity

“Have a seat, Spock,” Captain Pike told Spock when he entered Pike’s office.

Spock sat in the chair in front of Pike’s desk. He had received notification on his PADD that morning that Pike wished to see him. He’d considered bringing Jim with him because he knew Jim was curious about Starfleet Headquarters, but Jim had been sleeping and the request from Pike had not indicated he should bring Jim.

“How is Jim?” Pike asked. “Settling in?”

“Yes, sir. He seems to be adjusting to the location change well.”

Pike smiled. “Gets along with your parents?”

“Indeed. I believe they both find his company agreeable.”

“Good to hear. What about you, Spock?”

“Sir?”

“Do you also find him agreeable? To be honest, I wasn’t so sure the two of you would get along that well based on my observations in Riverside. I was surprised when you said he was your bondmate.”

Spock did not wish to discuss his personal relationship with Jim, however, he said, “We are both intellectually and spiritually compatible. Indeed, our interactions so far have been conducted without any complications.”

Pike’s lips twitched in a way Spock recognized as amusement. “I’m glad to hear it’s been uncomplicated. I understand he met Leonard McCoy.”

At the reminder of Dr. McCoy, Spock stiffened. “Affirmative. Are you quite certain he was thoroughly vetted by Starfleet?”

“Of course he was. Fine doctor, too. You didn’t care for him?”

“I have not formed an opinion of him, however, his mental faculties did seem questionable.”

“He’ll be fine, Spock. He might be a little…abrasive.”

To put it mildly, Spock thought.

“But I think he’ll be an excellent instructor for the summer program.” Pike steepled his fingers together. “And that brings me to why I wanted to see you, Spock.”

Spock waited.

“In the fall, I’m taking a ship out to explore the Hydra II Sector,” Pike said. “I’d like you to be on board as my science officer with rank of Lieutenant.”

Active duty on a starship was why Spock had joined Starfleet. It would be an excellent career opportunity.

“It wouldn’t be a long mission,” Pike continued. “Six to eighteen months.”

“Eighteen?” Spock repeated.

“At the most. Probably not as long as that. I know you’ve been seeking active duty, Spock. I also know that at the end of summer, Jim is going back to Riverside to complete his education there. Correct?”

Spock nodded. “Yes, Captain, that is the plan.”

“So, the two of you would be separated anyway. It’s a good mission, Spock. It’ll give you the experience you’ve been wanting.”

Spock had to agree. Exploring the Hydra II Sector would be fascinating. “It does sound like an opportunity not to be wasted.”

“Look, I know your concern is Jim. You’re going to find at some point you may be separated during your careers and you would have been apart anyway, as I said, before he can join the academy full time. Talk it over with your parents and Jim, but I believe you should accept this mission, Spock.”

And Spock knew he likely would.

“All right, that’s it for now. Let me know as soon as possible, though, because I’m building my team.”

With a nod, Spock rose from his chair. “Thank you, Captain. I will advise you of my answer in the near future.”

Spock left Starfleet Headquarters and was about to walk home when he heard his name called. He turned to greet Nyota.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” she exclaimed, catching up to him.

“I had an appointment with Captain Pike.”

“How’d it go?”

“It was…interesting. Why are you here, Nyota?”

“Had to drop off some papers. Look, why don’t we have tea at that little place half a block from here? You remember it, don’t you?”

Spock did and he saw no reason to refuse the invitation. They made the short walk together and then sat at a table in the back with their tea.

Nyota had chosen an iced tea. She took a sip through an elaborate pink straw. “So, what did Pike want?”

“He offered me a science officer position on an exploratory mission leaving in the fall with the rank of Lieutenant.”

Nyota grinned. “Spock, that’s wonderful. Congratulations.”

“Thank you, Nyota.”

“I assume you accepted it.”

“I have not.”

“Why not?”

“It may be as long as eighteen months.”

She shrugged. “So? Oh. You’re hesitating because of Jim Kirk?”

“He is my mate.”

“Yeah, I realize that, Spock. But surely he wouldn’t keep you from doing this?”

Spock shook his head. “I do not believe he would object.”

“I would hope not. You can’t pass this up, Spock. You have to go.”

“I am certain that I will,” Spock admitted. “However, it would mean the longest time separated since the discovery of our bond.”

“Well, you gotta do what you gotta do.” She took a long swallow from her straw. “What’s really bugging you?”

“Jim was a bit rebellious in Riverside,” Spock said quietly. “His father and brother care for him, but they do not seem to be able to discipline him.”

“So you think he’d gonna go wild without you around to watch him?”

“Perhaps. Jim is to go back to Riverside when summer is over, however, if I was planet side, I would be able to keep in close contact and perhaps visit during our separation. This would not be possible during the exploratory mission.”

“No, it wouldn’t. You’ll just have to trust that he’ll do the right thing, Spock. You have to do this. We both know it.”

“Yes,” Spock said with a nod. His communicator beeped. “Jim.”

Nyota smiled. “You should answer it.”

Spock flipped it open. “Yes, Jim?”

“Hey, where are you? Your mom and I are going to go to lunch.”

“I am currently having tea with Nyota.”

A long pause.

“Jim?”

“That’s…nice,” Jim said. “Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you later. Kirk out.”

Spock blinked at the abrupt end to the transmission.

Nyota smirked. “He’s jealous.”

“There is no reason for him to be jealous,” Spock pointed out.

She snorted. “I know that and you know that. But he’s young. He’s just thinking about how his boyfriend is out with his ex.”

“We are not out. We are having tea.”

Nyota laughed. “I know, Spock. Anyway, how about we get some cookies? I’m starved.”

****

Spock found his father in his study when he returned home less than an hour later. Jim and his mother had not returned from their lunch engagement.

“Father, may I have a word?” Spock asked after obtaining permission to enter.

“Of course, Spock.” Sarek waited until Spock was seated. “What is on your mind?”

“Captain Pike offered me a position on a starship leaving in the fall to the Hydra II Sector. I would be his science officer with the rank of lieutenant. With a probability of the mission lasting six to eighteen months.”

His father nodded. “I presume you have accepted.”

“I intend to, though I have not done so yet.”

His father studied him. “It is difficult to be parted from one’s mate at such a long distance and for many months. But when you decided to enlist in Starfleet this became a possibility, Spock.”

“I know you did not agree with my decision.”

“It was not my place to agree or disagree, my son. However, because this is what you have chosen, it would not be logical to put the needs of your mate above your other responsibilities.”

“Are not the needs of our mates most important?”

“In the long term, yes. You are both young and it will be years before the formal bonding on Vulcan will take place. It will be more difficult to be separated after _koon-ut-kal-if-fee._ ”

Spock nodded. “Should I advise him of this now or wait until the summer has ended?”

“Delaying the telling of it will not change the outcome. I would advise you to tell him sooner rather than later.”

Spock rose. “I shall give Captain Pike my answer, and then meditate.”

Sarek nodded. “I will share the meal with you later.”

Spock went to his room for his PADD and sent his acceptance to Captain Pike.


	23. Finding Out

Jim glanced up from his menu to look at Amanda, who sat across from him at a little bistro they’d chosen not far from the apartment. “What are you going to get?”

“Hm. Lots of choices. Are you going to get meat?” She smiled warmly.

“I shouldn’t.”

“Why not? It’s perfectly fine, honey.”

“Well, but you don’t eat it.”

Amanda waved her hand. “Mostly from habit. Plus when I was pregnant with Spock the smell of meat made me violently ill. I ate it before then. Sarek accepted it. It would be illogical to force me to go by his preferences.”

Jim smiled. “You know I really like that.”

“What?”

“You about Sarek. You really love him, don’t you?”

“Of course.”

“Well, it’s nice. I mean even when you’re sort of making fun of him it’s always with so much love, it’s like you glow.” Jim blushed and looked down at his menu. “I-I never really got to see that with my parents, so I like it.”

“Oh, Jim. You’re the sweetest boy,” Amanda said, covering his hand with hers. “Spock is very lucky.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. And I think he thinks so too.”

“Hey, you know Vulcan right?”

She set her menu down. “Sure, I do. Why do you ask?”

“What does _taluhk nash-veh k'dular_ mean?”

Amanda’s eyes widened. “Did Spock say that?”

Jim bit his lip. “Is it bad?”

She cleared her throat. “I’m not sure it’s my place to tell you what it means, Jim. What are you going to order?”

He sighed in disappointment, “It _is_ bad?”

“No.” She shook her head. “It is very good, Jim.”

“Should I just look it up?”

Amanda shook her eyes. “Jim, it is a very tender, important sentiment for a Vulcan to say. You should ask Spock about it and not try and look it up from a Vulcan translation. Please?”

“Okay, you’re right I guess.”

“Now, for the third time,” she said with a smile. “What are you going to have?”

“My favorite is hamburgers,” Jim admitted.

“Then that’s what you should have. If you like cheese, how about a cheeseburger?”

Jim nodded, grinning. “Okay, deal. And you?”

“A salad, I think. And the potato soup.”

A waitress came by to take their order, and Jim looked out at the street.

“You look sad, Jim. What is it?”

Jim blew out a breath. “Is it normal to date your ex?”

The teacup she had just picked up rattled in her hand. “Pardon?”

“I contacted Spock thinking maybe he could join us, but he was with…her.”

“Her?”

“Nyota Uhura.”

“Oh.”

“They were having a tea party or something.”

She laughed and shook her head. “I can’t imagine Spock having a tea party, Jim. He had a meeting with Captain Pike this morning. I’m certain he just happened to run into Ms. Uhura.”

“Yeah, convenient that.”

“I really can’t believe you’re jealous of her,” Amanda said, sipping her tea.

“She’s beautiful.”

She shrugged. “So are you.”

Jim laughed and rolled his eyes. “Okay whatever.”

“It’s true and I know Spock. He only has eyes for you.” She smiled. “I’m more convinced of that than ever.”

“You like being mysterious, don’t you?”

Amanda laughed. “Maybe a little.”

Jim laughed too and he found he really liked Spock’s mother.

****

When Jim and Amanda got home, he could tell that Spock had come home but his room was closed which told Jim Spock was probably meditating. Something Vulcans did far too often as far he was concerned.

So Jim made some coffee and went out on to the balcony. He was trying to get used to heights. He wasn’t sure how successful his experiments were really. He still felt really queasy looking down.

When the sliding door opened behind him, Jim knew Spock had come to look for him. Spock stopped just a little behind him. Didn’t touch him, just stood there quietly.

“Hey,” Jim said softly.

“How was your lunch with Mother?”

“It was nice. We had a good time. Too bad you couldn’t be there.”

“I was at Starfleet Headquarters meeting with Captain Pike. Jim, will you turn to face me?”

Jim did turn then but he stepped away from the railing.

“You are quite pale,” Spock said. “Perhaps it would be wise to speak in my room.”

“Okay,” Jim agreed.

After they entered Spock’s room, he closed the door. “You may wish to sit.”

Jim did not like the sound of that, but he sat on the edge of Spock’s bed. “I’m not gonna like this, am I?”

“I do not wish to lie to you, ashaya,” Spock said. “I believe you will not be particularly pleased.” He sat on the bed next to Jim.

“This have something to do with your meeting with Pike?”

“Yes. Captain Pike intends to take a ship to the Hydra II Sector in the autumn. He requested me as his science officer.”

Jim blinked, licked his lips. Shook his head. “Oh.”

Spock watched him carefully. “You would be returning to Riverside to complete your high school education. Most of the mission would be during a time we would likely be separated by your schooling.”

There was a slight buzzing in his ears, but Jim ignored it. Ignored the sinking in his stomach too. “Most?”

“It is possible the mission could last as long as eighteen months.”

He nodded or thought he did. He kind of felt numb. “And just like that…boom no more mates.”

“No,” Spock said immediately. “We are always mates. The mission will not change that.”

“No? You’ll be living an entirely different life exploring the _stars_ and I’ll be…I’ll be stuck in Riverside same as always.”

“Jim—”

“God, I’m being a dick, aren’t I?” Jim stood up and started pacing. “It’s just… _space_. I wanna go so badly and now you’re gonna go without me. And yeah I totally knew that was a possibility but now it’s happening and what am I going to do now that you made me totally want to be with you all the time and now that you won’t be here and—”

“Ashaya, you are babbling.”

“I know. I think I’m gonna be sick,” Jim said, sitting back down. He felt the sting of tears. “You gotta do it though. I know that. I just-I just didn’t think it would be like this. So soon.”

Spock put his hand on Jim’s cheek. “I do not wish to leave you, ashaya. But as my father said I enrolled in Starfleet knowing that I would have to be sent on missions. It is the responsible, logical course.”

“You spoke with your father?”

“Yes. Right before I sent my acceptance to Captain Pike.”

Jim suddenly couldn’t breathe as his chest constricted. “You-you already gave your answer? You didn’t even talk to me first?”

“I thought you would agree it was logical,” Spock explained. “And after speaking with my father and Nyota—”

He sucked in a breath. “What?”

“You know I had tea with Nyota.”

“You talked to her about it but not to me?” Jim whispered.

“I did not seek her advice, Jim. She was there right after I met with Pike.”

“Unfuckingbelievable.”

“You-you are distressed.”

“No.” Jim shook his head.

“I feel it.”

“I’m not distressed. I’m _upset_. Humans get upset, Spock. I can’t believe you talked to your ex but not to me.”

“Ashaya, it was not like that.”

Jim rose again and he wiped angrily at the tears streaming down his cheeks.

Spock looked stricken. “Do not cry.”

“I can’t help it, okay?” Jim sniffled.

“You misunderstand.” Spock put his hands on Jim’s arms. “It is upsetting to me to see you so…distr…upset. It is-it is—”

Jim frowned. “What?”

Spock was breathing heavy. “Your emotions…they are overwhelming me.”

“Overwhelming? Spock?” He grabbed onto Spock. “What? How can I help?”

“Meld,” Spock whispered. “Skin.”

Jim lifted up his shirt, grabbed Spock’s hands, and placed them on his bare skin. “Meld?”

Spock’s hand went to Jim’s face. “Ashaya?”

“Okay.”

Spock entered Jim’s mind and Jim gasped. “Shh, it is all right.” Spock’s arm wrapped around Jim’s waist and pulled him close.

“Is-Is that better?” Jim asked.

“Yes.” He dropped his hand from Jim’s face and pulled him closer still. “I apologize, t’hy’la. It was not my intention to hurt you. It disturbs me when you are hurt.”

“I’m sorry, too. Spock, I’m not a child. I’m supposed to be your mate, right?”

“Yes.”

“You need to talk to me. Not Uhura. Okay?”

Spock nodded. “She means nothing to me. She is only a friend. You are everything.”

Jim smiled, leaned against him. “I don’t want you to leave.”

Spock stroked Jim’s hair. “I know. But it is not for months. We still have time, ashaya.”

Jim exhaled slowly, then he pulled back to gaze into Spock’s eyes. “I’m jealous.”

“I told you—”

“No. That you’re going up there.”

“You will be there before you know it.”

Jim laughed a little. “Not soon enough. Not with you.”

Spock just squeezed him tighter.

“Love you,” Jim mumbled into Spock’s neck. “What does _taluhk nash-veh k'dular_ mean?”

“It is similar to the sentiment you just used for me,” Spock said quietly. “Perhaps a little more intense. Jim?”

“Hmm?”

“Are we all right?”

Jim kissed him. “Yeah, babe. We’re all right.”    


	24. The Night Before

Spock was reluctant to let go of Jim. He had made Jim cry and that was not something he would forget any time soon. But neither would it be logical to hold onto Jim all day and night. That would be far too much of an emotional display. He slowly eased away from Jim, but it was with reluctance.

Jim smiled at him and that eased a little of the ache inside Spock. He desperately needed to meditate to soothe the bond, to soothe himself after hurting his mate.

“I know,” Jim said, touching his cheek. “You need to meditate.”

Spock nodded. “I am in need.”

“I feel your turmoil,” Jim told him. “I’ll leave you to it.”

“Jim.” He pulled Jim back with his hand on Jim’s wrist.

“Spock, it’s all right, I promise.”

“If you are certain. I do not wish to part from you if you are still in need of comfort.”

Jim kissed him. “I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be in need of comfort for the next three months. And you can definitely comfort me tonight in bed. But for now, I’m okay, Spock.”

“I-I made you cry,” Spock whispered. “I do not wish to do that ever again.”

“Babe, I’m human and kind of an emotional one at that. I bet your dad has made your mom cry. Have you seen that?”

Spock thought about it and nodded. “I believe he has.”

“See? Just humans, Spock. It doesn’t mean anything bad. Well, really bad anyway. We’re mates, right?”

“Yes.”

“And as far as you’re concerned that’s forever, yeah?”

Spock frowned. “As far as I am concerned? Jim—”

“Me, too, Spock.”

Spock stared at him for a moment. When he’d first told Jim of their t’hy’la bond, the younger man had been quite uncertain. But now gazing into the deep blue of Jim’s eyes, Spock saw nothing but love and contentment.

Jim kissed him again. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yes, t’hy’la.”

****

When Spock exited his room two hours later he was startled to hear Captain Pike’s voice coming from the direction of the dining room. When he reached it, Pike was seated at the table with Jim and Spock’s mother on either side of him. His mother appeared to be sipping tea while Jim and Pike had coffee.

“Spock, you’re awake,” his mother greeted him warmly.

“I was not sleeping, Mother. Captain Pike, I was not expecting you.”

Pike smiled. “I was in the area and decided to stop by and say hello to Jim. Your mom has invited me to stay for dinner.”

“Would you like some tea, Spock?” his mother asked.

“That would be agreeable.” Spock took the seat next to Jim.

“Jim has been telling me how excited he is to begin the program tomorrow,” Pike said. “I’m sure he’ll do great.”

“I’m sure too,” Jim said with a grin.

Pike chucked. “Meant to tell you, Jim, that someone you met recently is also going to be part of the program.”

Spock tore his gaze from Jim to look at his captain. “Captain?”

“The young man informed me he had dinner here. A Vulcan named Serran.”

Spock stiffened. “Serran is part of the summer program?”

“Hey, that’s pretty awesome,” Jim said. “I’ll already know someone.”

Spock glanced at Jim. “You met him once.”

Jim grinned. “Yeah, but I did meet him. Therefore I know him. You know kind of, sort of.”

“You don’t like him?” Pike asked Spock.

His mother brought Spock’s tea. “Who doesn’t Spock like?”

“Serran,” Jim replied.

“He seemed nice when he was here,” his mother said.

“To dislike Serran would be illogical,” Spock informed them. “I do not know him nor have I formed an opinion of him.”

“You’re just jealous,” Jim said with a wink.

Spock frowned. “I am not jealous.”

“Why would Spock be jealous?”

“I am not, Mother. Jim is teasing.”

“Well, good,” Pike said. “He’s going to be your student, Spock.”

Spock sipped his tea. “I look forward to it.”

****

“You don’t have to meditate?” Jim, his mouth full of toothpaste, asked Spock later when Spock entered their shared bathroom while Jim brushed his teeth.

“The meditation from earlier was sufficient.” Spock picked up his own toothbrush to begin his oral hygiene.

Jim spit, rinsed, and then stretched his arms above his head, revealing a patch of skin just above the waistband of his pajama bottoms. Spock’s gaze was compelled to stare there. Then Jim turned and went into his room while Spock finished brushing his teeth.

When he entered Jim’s room, Jim already lay on his back, arms folded beneath his head.

“You should go to sleep, Jim. Tomorrow will be a full day.”

“I’m a little nervous.”

“I believe it is normal for humans to experience nervousness when faced with the unknown.”

Jim’s lips curved. “Yeah, I guess. Speaking of the unknown, when are you going to fuck me?”

“I think time would be best served in rest tonight,” Spock said, noticing the primness in his own voice.

“Is that your way of saying not tonight, Jim, I have a headache?”

“I am not experiencing pain.”

Jim sighed. “It’s an expression, Spock. It’s an excuse to get out of…sexual congress.”

“I assure you I have no reason to avoid that. However, it was a draining day for both of us and I believe a night of full rest would be advisable.”

“All right, professor.”

Spock swallowed. “I would ask that you not call me that.”

“Ever? Or just tonight?” Jim’s blue eyes were sparking and he was almost irresistible.

“Tonight. Or we will not get the rest that I deem appropriate.” Spock saw the mischievous glint in Jim’s eyes just as he opened his mouth. “No, Jim.”

Spock moved the covers on the bed and got in next to his mate. He noticed Jim’s smile then but this one was not teasing or mischievous but simply affectionate. He arched a brow. “What?”

“I really love how you’re gonna sleep with me even though you’re not gonna sleep with me.”

“That is nonsensical.”

“Totally,” Jim agreed. He scooted down under the covers and put his arm around Spock’s waist. He yawned. “I am pretty tired now that you mentioned it.”

“Indeed.” Spock brushed his fingers across Jim’s. “Goodnight, ashaya.”

“Goodnight, babe.”


	25. First Day

Of course he was nervous. This was big. This was really big.

Sure Jim knew he was smart even before they’d gotten all impressed over his test scores. But now he was here. At _Starfleet Academy_ , for God’s sake. What if he fucked it up at the summer program and they told him never to come back?

Jim’s stomach growled loudly. “Ah, geez, I’m _starving_.”

“That is factually incorrect,” Spock said, walking beside him to the academy.

“I know I’m not actually starving. It’s exaggeration for effect.”

“If you had eaten breakfast at home you would not be experiencing stomach discomfort now.”

“I was too nervous.”

“Acknowledged. However that is why you are now complaining.”

Jim paused in front of a bakery. Spock kept walking. “Spock.”

Spock stopped finally some paces away. “Jim, why have you stopped?”

“I’m gonna get something in here.”

“If we stop here I will not have enough time prior to my first class to prepare.”

“You’re pretty prepared already,” Jim assured him, knowing how hard Spock had worked on his curriculum. “Look, you can go, I’ll get there when I’ve gotten something from here.”

“You should not be late your first day.”

“I won’t. Seriously. Go, Spock. I know the way. I’ll be there.”

“Very well.” Spock turned with obvious reluctance and continued along his way to the Academy.

Jim shook his head, then smiled and turned to go into the bakery just as someone else attempted to enter through the doorway.

“Oh, excuse me.”

“No,” said the other man. “I apologize. I was unaware of your presence.”

Jim stopped, stared, and then smiled when he recognized the Vulcan. “Serran. Hi.”

Serran straightened and blinked. “Jim Kirk. It is pleasant to run into you here this morning.”

“It totally is. You’re attending the summer program at the Academy, too, right?”

“Affirmative. I got the highest test scores.” Serran’s lips curved upwards in a way Jim assumed was a smile for Vulcans since he’s noticed both Spock and Sarek did it. “Save for one other.”

Jim grinned. “Well, I don’t like to brag.”

“I was surprised my scores were bested,” Serran replied. “But not unpleasantly so. I would count myself fortunate to be one of your acquaintances, Jim Kirk.”

“Cool, I’d like that too. But it’s just Jim. Sounds weird hearing my last name when you address me.”

“As you wish, Jim.”

They stepped into the bakery together and approached the display cases.

“Have you been here before?” Serran asked, clasping his hands behind his back very much like Spock.

“Nope. Totally my first time. You?”

“I have not. I have been told they have Kreyla though and wished to try it.”

“Amanda, Spock’s mother, makes it. It’s quite good,” Jim said. “I should invite you over for some.”

Serran inclined his head. “I would be pleased to accept such an invitation when and if it is offered.”

Jim eyed a big crusty bagel. “I think I’m gonna have that with tons of cream cheese.”

“I admit to finding human culinary tastes fascinating,” Serran said, eyeing the bagel. “Perhaps someday I will try it myself. For now I will stick with the Kreyla.”

They both ordered their food, paid for their purchases and exited the bakery, walking together toward the academy.

“I had assumed you would make your way to the academy with Professor Spock,” Serran said.

“We were together. But then I was hungry and Spock was anxious about making it on time. I didn’t want to make him crazy, so I told him to go ahead.”

“Crazy?”

Jim shrugged. “Vulcan crazy. Or its equivalent.” He remembered then who he was talking to and he blushed. “Sorry. Sometimes I don’t think about what I’m saying.”

“There is no need to censor yourself around me, Jim. I find your way of speaking and candor quite refreshing.”

“Oh. Cool.” Jim grinned. “You know you aren’t at all like Stonn and T’Pring.” Then he bit his lip. “You’re not really close with them, are you?”

Serran shook his head. “No. I know T’Pring more than Stonn. She is my cousin on my maternal side. Stonn I met only when we came from Vulcan to Earth.”

“Do you like him?”

“I have not really formed an opinion of him.”

Jim laughed. “I see you have already perfected Vulcan diplomacy.”

“They do require we learn it at an early age. I will say I would not spend a great deal of time in his company were I given the choice.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not so diplomatic and I freely admit I think he’s an asshole.”

“I do apologize for his behavior at your home the other night. It was not proper.”

“Neither was mine, really. But he made me so mad.”

Serran nodded. “I believe that was his intent, Jim. It is wise to refrain from showing one’s emotions sometimes even when human.”

Jim sighed. “I know. You’re right.”

Serran stopped before the Academy. “It appears we have arrived. I have a meal break at eleven thirty. If you are free at that time also, I would be pleased to accompany you for refreshment.”

“That sounds great. Meet around here, okay? In this quad area.”

“I will be here.”

****

“Hey Bones,” Jim greeted Dr. McCoy after his class.

Bones looked up from the PADD he was working on. “Kid.”

“I wanted to say I loved your class. I was really impressed. And God, you’re totally smart.”

Bones smirked. “Buttering up your teacher already?”

Jim laughed. “Nope. I don’t really need to, actually. And I mean it. Totally. Listen some friends and I are gonna meet for lunch now. You wanna come along? If it’s allowed. No pressure or anything.”

“Who are these friends? Not that hobgoblin?”

“You mean Spock? I don’t think so. I didn’t arrange to meet him.” Jim frowned. “And watch it, would you? He’s my boyfriend.”

“Yeah yeah. Who then?”

“Serran, Hikaru Sulu and Pavel Chekov. I actually just met those guys. But I knew Serran from before.”

“Serran?”

“Yeah, he’s a Vulcan, too.” Jim eyed him dubiously. “You aren’t a Xenophobe, are you?”

“Watch your mouth, kid. I find everyone equally annoying. Since I don’t have any lunch plans, sure, I’ll join you. And yeah, it’s allowed.” Bones picked up his PADD and followed Jim outside.

Waiting for him in the quad area were Serran, Sulu, and Chekov.

“Hey, guys. You introduce yourselves to each other?” Jim asked.

“We did,” Serran said. “Dr. McCoy, it is pleasing to make your acquaintance. I have read all your medical papers numerous times and I found your time on the Excelsior of particular fascination.”

Bones blinked. “Oh. Uh. You are?”

“Serran, doctor. And may I present Hikaru Sulu and Pavel Chekov. Pavel is from Russia.”

Bones stared at the other two and then shook their hands. “Russia huh?”

“Dah. It iz a vonder to meet you. I enjoyed your class.”

Jim grinned. “See everyone’s gonna be fast friends. So where shall we eat? I heard the cafeteria is kinda lame but I’m good with anything.”

“Let’s go there. This is our first day. I’d like to check it out,” Sulu said.

“Okay, let’s do it.” They headed in that direction. “Don’t you wish we got to wear cadet uniforms for this summer program? I was pretty disappointed when Spock told me we didn’t.”

“They’re uncomfortable,” Bones said. “Collars would choke you.”

“Well, maybe. But still.”

As they entered the cafeteria, Jim stopped and stared at the Vulcan eating at a table with one of the other instructors. Nyota Uhura, of course.

“Isn’t that sweet?” Jim said.

Bones frowned. “Jim?”

“Let’s go say hi.”

“Hi to who?” Bones asked but Jim was already walking away toward Spock and Uhura. The others dutifully followed.

Spock looked up at Jim’s approach, and then his gaze went to those coming up behind Jim. “Hello, Jim.”

“Hi, Spock. Professor.” Jim smiled at Uhura.

“Cadet Kirk.”

“You are having lunch with Serran?” Spock queried.

“Sure am. And Sulu, Chekov and Bones. But you’re having lunch, too, so no big deal, right?”

“Of course not.”

“Jim, there is a table over there that will seat all of us,” Serran spoke up.

“Great. I’ll get out of your hair. See you later after classes. We’ll walk home together.”

Spock nodded. “Yes, Jim.”

Jim turned and walked away, rolling his eyes. “I can’t believe he’s having lunch with her.”

“Vhat is vrong with Professor Uhura?” Chekov asked.

“Nothing exactly.” He shrugged. ”She’s just my boyfriend’s ex.”

“Ah.” Chekov nodded.

“Whatever. Let’s just eat.” Jim sighed. “I’m _starving_.”


	26. Not Jealous

Spock glanced away from the student he was conversing with to see Jim entering his classroom. He turned his attention back to the student.

“I am sure you will find Riley interesting reading, Cadet. Dismissed.”

She nodded. “Thank you, Professor.”

She turned to walk away and stopped when she saw Jim approach. The cadet suddenly smiled. “Hi.”

Jim returned her smile though with much less warmth than the one she gave to him. “Hello.”

“My name is Darla. Darla Rivers.”

He shook her offered hand. “Jim Kirk.”

Cadet Rivers stepped closer to Jim. Spock merely watched their interaction curiously. “Are you in Professor Spock’s class? I think I would have noticed you.”

“Oh, no. Can’t be.”

“No?”

Jim shrugged. “It’s against rules or whatever.” He flashed a grin at her. “Spock is my lifelong mate.”

Cadet Rivers blinked and her smile faltered as she looked back at Spock who kept his expression carefully blank. “I didn’t know that.”

“Yep,” Jim continued. “It’s a Vulcan thing, I guess. But basically he’s considered my husband although I usually refer to him as my boyfriend.”

“I-I see. Well it’s nice to meet you,” she said, blushing scarlet. “Bye, Professor.” And then she scurried from the classroom.

Jim’s smile for Spock was noticeably warmer. “I kind of like claiming you as mine.”

Spock nodded. “I noticed.”

“Are you ready to go home?”

“Yes.” Spock stuffed his books and PADD into a bag. “Your day was adequate?”

“Oh, it was more than adequate. It was awesome. I think I’m really going to love being here and it’s going to suck having to go back to Riverside.”

Spock opened his mouth to reply.

“Please don’t tell me one of those clichés about how my time back in Riverside will be over before I know it and you and I will be reunited once again.” Jim shook. “It’s total bullshit and we both know it.”

“I was not going to say that,” Spock replied. “I was going to tell you once more to enjoy the time you have now and not worry about what is to come.”

They walked out of Spock’s classroom.

“How about your day, babe? Was it also adequate?” Jim was smiling.

“You are making fun of me.”

“Only a little. And it’s because I think you’re the world’s greatest guy ever.”

Spock rolled his eyes. “My day was indeed adequate.”

“And your lunch with your ex?”

“Why is it necessary to qualify her as my ex? She has no current relationship to me beyond friendship.”

“I don’t like her.”

“I am aware of your dislike though I find it irrational.”

Jim sighed. “And illogical.”

Spock nodded. “I have already explained that it is you who I am with, who I want to be with.” They had made their way off campus and were now walking down the long blocks to the apartment.

“Yeah well I have already explained I’m an illogical emotional human. I get jealous.”

“I understand. I am hopeful that as your maturity level rises you will no longer be so insecure,” Spock said.

“Ouch.”

“Clarify.”

“You basically just called me an immature, insecure kid, Spock.”

“I merely stated factual information.”

“Ugh. Vulcans.”

Spock decided a change of topic was in order. “And your own lunch with Serran?”

“Oh that was totally cool. I really like him.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah. I think we’re going to be good friends. I also really like Chekov and Sulu. And of course Bones.”

Spock was still unsure that the doctor was completely sane but he refrained from speculating. “Did Serran seek you out?”

“No, actually we ran into each other at the bakery. He was getting some kreyla. I totally told him we’d have him over for some of your mother’s.”

“Did you?” he asked more sharply than he intended.

Jim glanced at him sideways, frowning. “It’s okay, isn’t it? I mean he wasn’t like Stonn and T’Pring.”

“You may invite anyone you wish, Jim. It is your home also. I am wondering if I need to remind Serran that we are bonded.”

“Huh?”

“I suspect he is romantically interested in you,” Spock said bluntly.

Jim laughed. “I don’t think so.”

“He did comment on the striking color of your eyes,” Spock reminded him.

“Well, yeah, and I know you were jealous—”

“I was not.”

“But I think he knows about you and me, so really, you don’t have to be concerned.”

Spock straightened. “I am not concerned.”

“No?” Jim grinned. “Even though I have a thing for snooty Vulcans?”

“I am not a snooty Vulcan, however, I am quite secure in the affection you have for me, so there is no cause for me to feel jealous of Serran. I merely sought to remind him of my claim so that he would not suffer needless embarrassment.”

“Well, good,” Jim said with a wide smile. “Because you have reason to be secure. And damn did you have to say your claim? God, now I’m all horny.”

“Jim,” Spock admonished as they stepped inside the building that housed their apartment.

****

Spock went to Jim’s room later that night after his hour of meditation. He found Jim working on his terminal, but he smiled and leaned back in his chair when Spock entered his room.

“Your meditation went all right?”

“Affirmative. Are you doing coursework?”

“Yep. Just finished actually.” Jim swiveled in the chair to face Spock. “Now I’m ready for my other lessons, Professor.”

Spock swallowed. “Are you indeed…Cadet?”

Jim grinned and stood up, coming to where Spock stood near the doorway to the bathroom. He leaned forward and nipped Spock’s bottom lip. “I totally think you need to claim me to show me exactly who I belong to…Professor.”

Spock’s breath hitched. “I can tell you are going to be a difficult student."

“Uh-huh. No doubt you’ll need to punish me. A lot.”

He grabbed Jim’s biceps and yanked him to him so their bodies were flush against each other. He lowered his mouth to Jim’s in a punishing, hard kiss. “You do indeed have a lot to learn.”

Jim’s pupils were blown wide. “Show me.”

Spock growled low, reaching for Jim’s clothes, as he pushed him toward the bed. “ _Mine_.”       


	27. Mine

Jim’s pulse suddenly sped up to a million beats per minute as Spock basically tore at his clothes.

Oh hell yeah!

He reached for the hem of his T-shirt intending to speed up the process but Spock swatted Jim’s hands away and yanked off Jim’s shirt himself.

Jim traced his bottom lip with his tongue as Spock started pulling at Jim’s pants. “The lube is in that drawer behind you.”

“Be quiet,” Spock ordered.

Jim’s whole body shook at the command and his cock rose to full hardness even as Spock pulled his pants off and tossed them to the floor. He now lay in front of Spock in only his briefs. Spock’s eyes seemed to devour him, his gaze raking over Jim from head to toe.

“Now you,” Jim urged.

“I told you to be quiet, Cadet. You don’t want anyone to hear you, do you?”

Jim swallowed the moan that rose to his throat. He shook his head rapidly. “Of course not, Professor.”

Spock knelt on the bed beside him. “You seem incapable of following instructions. Perhaps a gag would be warranted?”

His eyes widened, not sure if his Vulcan was serious. He chose to say nothing, just stared at Spock, and acted obedient.

Spock gave a low growl and then rose from the bed to go to the drawer with the lube. Jim was itching to remove Spock’s clothes, especially his black cable knit sweater, but he kept his hands still and watched as Spock rid himself of his own clothes. The sight of Spock completely naked and hard for Jim had Jim panting and even a little lightheaded.

Spock knelt on the bed, his gaze burning through Jim. “You must agree to be quiet, Cadet.”

“I…okay, I’ll try.”

“You’ll try what?”

Jim licked his lips. “I’ll try, Professor.”

Spock growled. He fucking growled and Jim was pretty sure he’d never recover from this. Hell, who was he kidding? Spock had him hook, line and sinker.

Spock’s weight crushed him into the mattress but he found he loved the heaviness, loved feeling trapped there. Spock would not hurt him. He was safe to be who and what he wanted.

It was weird then because he felt a light probing in his head and when he concentrated on it, it opened wide and Spock was in his head, possessive, seizing, and Jim was all the more aroused. His body burned, his cock so fucking hard, it felt like it’d crack in two.

“Spock, please,” he gasped when Spock’s teeth scrapped his bottom lip.

“Hush.” Spock’s hand covered his mouth and Jim’s tongue darted out to lick at Spock’s palm. Spock’s eyes widened, the look of pure lust in them making Jim shiver. Jesus, he was gonna come if Spock didn’t stop that.

_Is that not the point?_

_Spock…you’re talking in my head._

_Yes. You may beg here if you wish._

_Ah, geez._

Spock removed his hand from Jim’s mouth and sat up to squirt lube out of the bottle.  

Jim bit his lip then, his breaths short.

Spock looked up and into his eyes. “You are anxious?” he asked out loud.

“A-a little.”

“I will not hurt you, ashaya. It would pain me to do so.”

Jim smiled, the tightness in his chest loosening. “I know. I feel the same about you.”

Spock leaned over and kissed him deep and slow. “If you wish to wait—”

“No. Never. I want it now. I want you inside me. Everywhere.”

Spock swallowed, his Adam’s apple slowly sliding down his throat. His fingers, slicked with lube, entered Jim, pushing into him with aching gentleness. Jim bit back a cry at the burning sting, but his gaze never left Spock’s.

His hands slid over Spock muscled back, loving the way Spock quaked at his touch. His Vulcan’s eyes had gone impossibly dark and so intense, Jim thought he just might die from the emotions swirling around them. Whoever said Vulcans didn’t feel had never met one.

Jim pushed up against Spock and the long fingers inside him went deeper still, brushing along his prostate and Jim couldn’t keep the moan from spilling from his lips.

“Shh,” Spock said, claiming his lips, claiming him. “Yes,” Spock agreed. “You are mine. Forever and always.”

“Then take me,” Jim urged. “Please.”

Spock closed his eyes, exhaling deeply, and he withdrew his fingers. Jim watched him as he sat back, opened his eyes, and lubed up his cock. Jim couldn’t help but lick his lips over the sight. Later, he’d taste that Vulcan cock again.

Jim spread his legs and then lifted them enough for Spock to align his dick at Jim’s hole. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Finally.

“Taluhk nash-veh k’dular,” Spock whispered just as the tip of his cock pushed into Jim.

“Me too. Uhh.”

“Shh,” Spock said again, slipping his hand once more over Jim’s mouth. “My parents.”

Jim nodded, eyes wide. He tried to relax as best he could when Spock’s cock entered him further, spreading him, burning him with the invasion.

_It is all right, t’hy’la. Relax._

_I am._

_Does it still hurt?_

_Not exactly. B-burns._

And then Spock pressed all the way in, his balls resting against Jim’s body and he was lost, as his eyes rolled back in his head.

_Jim?_

_God, Spock, fuck me._

Spock began to thrust, slow and deep, and Jim found he never wanted it to end. Always wanted Spock inside him like this.

Since his mouth was still covered by Spock’s hand, Jim projected his words as Spock had,

_I love you._

Spock’s thrusts sped up, went impossibly deeper still, and Jim clung to him, held him closer, desperately rising to meet each penetrating thrust. He was so close…so damn close.

_Come, Jim. For me._

And then he was, his orgasm slamming hard through him, his cock emptying, splurting everywhere. He thought he might die from the intensity.

When Spock tensed inside him and then gasped as he emptied into Jim, he felt it all over again, and wasn’t that a fucking perk of the bond. Ah, Jesus.

Jim zoned out then, only vaguely aware of Spock rising and taking care of him, cleaning them with a cooling cloth and then returning to the bed to hold him.

“I have claimed you,” Spock informed him, looking down at Jim from above him, his dark eyes warm and affectionate.

Jim smiled. “You sure as hell did.”

“You are mine.”

Jim yawned. “I already was.”

Spock nodded. “Yes. But now I have claimed you.”

He laughed. “Yeah, you said that. Okay. Consider me thoroughly claimed. I’d let you claim me again, but my ass is a little sore right now.”

“You are not injured?”

“Nah. Just, well, you know, I think that’s normal.” He licked his dry lips and closed his eyes. “Gotta sleep. Class tomorrow.”

“Indeed. Goodnight, t’hy’la.”

“Night, babe.”


	28. Top of the Class

Jim barely glanced up from his PADD when the chair across from his became occupied. He reached for his coffee and took a sip, then tried a smile.

“Professor Uhura.”

“Kirk,” she replied, taking a sip from her own beverage, a floral tea judging by the aroma. “You got a perfect score on the test. The highest in the class.”

“I would imagine so if it’s perfect.” This time his smile was genuine.

“I didn’t know you were that interested in linguistics.”

He shrugged. “I studied a lot back in Iowa.”

“On the farm.”

“You got something against farms, Uhura?”

“Hmm. No.”

“I did a lot of studying. I’m not just a pretty face.”

She nodded. “I didn’t think Spock would be shallow enough only to go for you because you’re pretty.”

Jim took another sip of his coffee. “Glad we all agree I’m pretty at least.”

“Save it, Kirk. I’m not a lovesick Vulcan.”

“Spock’s hardly lovesick.”

She rolled her eyes. “That’s what you think. You’re all he talks about. Apparently you’re excelling at all your classes.”

“That was kind of the point of the summer program,” Jim said. “To get ahead so when I do join the academy, I’ll already be top of the class and further than everyone else. Besides, I’m hardly the only one doing well.”

“No, that’s true,” Uhura said. “There’s Serran. He’s taken a real liking to you.”

“Vulcans do seem to like me,” Jim said with a smile. Then he thought of Stonn and T’Pring and his smile faded. “There’s also Chekov and Sulu. They’re doing well.”

“Sure. You’re still doing better.”

Jim laughed. “So what’s your point, Nyota? You want me to start sucking?”

She narrowed her eyes. “I didn’t say you could call me by my first name.”

“You didn’t say I couldn’t either. By my book that means I can.”

“And no. I guess I’m just saying you surprised me.”

“You said yourself Spock wouldn’t have wanted me if I didn’t have a brain.”

“Well,” she said with a shrug. “He didn’t actually pick you. It was all preordained bond stuff, right?”

“Something like that. But I’m pretty sure Spock would have ignored it if he weren’t really into me.”

“You sure are confident in yourself, aren’t you?” She sighed and sipped her tea. “I think you’re right though.”

“Jealous?”

“Of you? Don’t make me laugh, Kirk. I’m sure Spock told you he and I are only friends at this point.”

“But you used to be more,” Jim pointed out.

Uhura flipped her head, her pony tail swishing behind her. “Not for very long and it ended a while ago. I wanted something more from him and he wanted something more from me. Neither of us got what we wanted.”

Jim shook his head. “And what did Spock want?”

She smiled. “You I think. He didn’t know it at the time, but yeah, he wanted you.” She stood. “By the way, I thought you’d like to know I’m going to be on the mission with Captain Pike in the fall. Communications officer.”

“Congratulations,” Jim replied. “It’s shaping out to be quite the voyage.”

“Keep up the good work, Cadet. You’re going places.”

“Apparently not to the Hydra Sector,” Jim muttered.

“Hello Jim,” Serran said as he took Uhura’s vacated seat.

Jim smiled. “Hey there.”

“You are done with your courses for the day?”

“Yep. Just waiting for Spock. We’re going to walk home together.”

Serran inclined his head. “Your conversation with the professor was unpleasant?”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Jim shrugged.

“You did well on the test, did you not?”

“Of course. Highest score.”

“You are bragging.”

“No, I’m not.”

Serran nodded. “Yes, you are. I am not saying you do not have a reason.”

Jim blushed a little. “Sorry.”

“There is no need for apology, Jim. Though I confess I do find your red cheeks appealing.”

“My what?” Jim gaped at him.

Serran frowned slightly. “Your red cheeks. Is that not an acceptable term?”

“Well, yeah. It’s just…Santa Claus has red cheeks.”

“You refer to the mythological old man who delivers unwarranted gifts at Christmas?”

Jim laughed. “Yeah him.”

“I assure you there is no resemblance.” Serran paused and to Jim’s surprise his cheeks flushed slightly green. “In fact, you are the most attractive human I have met so far since coming to Earth.”

A shadow fell across their table and Jim glanced over in surprise. He smiled instantly.

“Hey, Spock.”

“Jim.” Spock held two fingers toward Jim, and though Jim was surprised as Spock did not do so usually at the academy, he touched his fingers to Spock’s. Spock eyed Serran far less warmly. “Cadet Serran.”

“Good afternoon, Professor Spock. I was about to come by your office to discuss the report you had requested.”

“Yet, here you are.”

Serran shuffled his things. “I could discuss it with you now.”

“That will not be necessary, Cadet. Send it to my PADD. I am going home for the day. Jim?”

Jim stood. “See you tomorrow, Serran.”

“Good day, Jim.”

When they were out of sight of Serran, Jim smirked at Spock. “Were you trying to intimidate him?”

“That would be illogical.”

“I know, but were you?”

Spock sniffed. “He is attempting to woo you.”

Jim laughed out loud but then saw Spock did not appear to be joking. “Nah, I don’t think so.”

“Jim, I overheard him say you were the most attractive human he has yet met.”

“Well, yeah, he said that, but I doubt he meant it.”

“Vulcans do not lie.”

“Speaking of, do they avoid telling things?”

Spock arched a brow. “What?”

“How come you didn’t tell me Uhura was going with you on the ship?”

“She is not going with me, Jim. Captain Pike requested her as his communications officer.”

“Still. You didn’t tell me.”

“I was afraid you would be uncomfortable with the information.”

“Spock, you can’t not tell me things just because you think I won’t like them. We’re together, right?”

Spock glanced at him with a raised brow. “I should think after the last several nights that should be quite clear.”

Jim knew he was blushing again. He cleared his throat. “So, the point is, tell me stuff. Knowing who is on the ship with you, especially when it’s her, is important.”

“Are you angry with me?”

“No, babe,” Jim said with a smile as they reached their apartment building. “Just, you know, don’t try to spare me.”

Spock nodded. “Very well.”

They stepped onto the lift together.

“You know before when you said that this was my home and I could invite whoever I wanted over?” Jim asked as the lift rose to their floor.

The doors opened and they got off the lift.

“Yes,” Spock said with a nod.

Jim smiled. “Serran’s coming for dinner Saturday night. Oh…and Bones, too.”

Spock arched a brow. “I see. Very well.”

Jim leaned over and kissed the corner of Spock’s mouth. “You’re the best, babe.”  


	29. Where Home Is

“I hope that Jim inviting his friends for dinner has not put an undue burden on you, Mother,” Spock said to his mother in the kitchen Saturday evening.

“Don’t be silly. It’s no trouble,” she said, waiving it off as though it were indeed nothing.

“I will prepare the meal for them if required.”

She smiled. “It’s not. Jim contacted me before inviting his friends over to find out if I minded.”

Spock had not known that and was gratified to learn that Jim had been thoughtful enough to check with his mother before inviting his friends.

His mother reached out and patted Spock’s hand briefly. “This is nice, Spock.”

“Clarify.”

“You with Jim. Oh, I know you’re going to tell me how illogical and emotional I am.” She sighed. “When you were a little boy you were so quiet and shy. Being a child of both a human and a Vulcan had to be difficult. I didn’t know if you’d ever find someone that perfect for you. But you have. Jim’s fantastic.”

“We are compatible,” Spock agreed.

Her smile widened. “You are.” Then her smile faded and she bit her lip. “I do have some concerns though.”

“Concerns?”

“Oh, it’s nothing really.”

Spock arched a brow. “You would not broach the subject if it were nothing, Mother. You are troubled by Jim?”

She shook her head. “Oh, nothing so dire, Spock. I adore him. No, it’s more a concern for when the summer ends.”

“You speak of our separation.”

“I know it’s necessary and all and a great opportunity for you.” His mother sighed. “I guess I wish Jim could stay here with your father and me instead of returning to Iowa while you are gone.”

“His father requests that he return to Riverside to complete his education.”

“I know. And that’s his right, of course. But you said yourself Jim was a little rebellious there. With your being here, I knew you could at least keep track of him, but now with you being in space, I’m just a little more anxious is all.” She smiled again. “Don’t mind me.”

Spock, too, felt a slight trepidation about Jim returning to Riverside, but there was little he could do about the circumstances of his separation from his mate, therefore, he had decided it would be illogical to focus on it.

“I am certain we will all manage, Mother,” Spock told her.

“Manage what?” Jim asked, coming into the kitchen.

“It is of no consequence,” Spock replied.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, your father can’t make dinner. He has a late meeting,” his mother announced.

“Ha! You know what that means, babe?” Jim grinned.

“What does it mean?”

“Humans will outnumber Vulcans at dinner.”

“I fail to see the significance of that,” Spock replied.

“Oh I am sure we’ll give you fits of illogic.”

“Of that I have no doubt.”

The doorbell rang.

“I assume that would be our guests.” Spock walked out of the kitchen with Jim following closely behind. Spock stopped at the door when Jim looked at himself in the hallway mirror. “What are you doing?”

“Huh? Oh, making sure I look good, of course.”

“Why?”

“Cause I wanna look good for our guests.”

Spock surveyed Jim and noticed he was wearing nice black slacks and a blue buttoned down shirt. He’d combed his hair too. “You chose that blue to offset your eyes, did you not?”

Jim grinned. “You noticed?”

Spock narrowed his eyes as the doorbell rang again. “It is difficult not to. However, I am certain that you recall who you belong to.”

He opened the door then to Leonard McCoy and Serran.

“I was beginning to think we had the wrong place,” McCoy grumbled.

“Bones!” Jim exclaimed from behind him. He brushed past Spock and shook McCoy’s hand. “Glad you could come.”

“It’s a free meal, kid.” McCoy stepped inside.

Jim turned to Serran who stood in the doorway waiting to be invited inside. “Come on in.”

“Thank you,” Serran said politely. “Professor Spock.”

“Cadet Serran.”

Jim laughed. “Hey, do we have to be all professor and cadet tonight? We’re just four guys having dinner. With Spock’s mom. How awesome is that?”

Spock did not miss the way Serran’s gaze followed Jim as he bounced over to the dining room.

****

“You would say the summer program has been a success, would you not?” Serran asked as they all sat in the living room after dinner having tea and coffee.

Spock sat on the couch with Jim sitting next to him, very close, and on the other side of Jim was Spock’s mother. McCoy and Serran had taken other chairs in the living room. Jim’s leg kept a steady bounce.

“Yes, I believe it has been successful. I have discussed it with the dean of the academy as well as Captain Pike who implemented it and they have both been pleased,” Spock replied. “I am certain they will implement it again next summer.”

“Are you going straight to the regular academy in the fall, Serran?” Jim asked.

“That is uncertain at this time as I may be required to return to Vulcan, but I would prefer to stay,” Serran said.

“What about you, Bones? What are you going to do next?”

Dr. McCoy shrugged. “Hell if I know. Pike asked me to be the CMO on his ship.”

Spock stiffened.

“Really?”

“Yeah, but I said no.” McCoy took a large swallow of coffee. “Too vague timewise and I’m looking to see my kid before I go into some long space mission again.”

“You have a child, Leonard?” Serran inquired.

“Yep, a daughter, Joanna. They’ve offered to have me at the Academy for another semester so I might do that,” McCoy said.

“How unfortunate you will not be with us, doctor,” Spock murmured.

“Yeah a real tragedy,” McCoy said with a snort.

“Well, you can always come visit me in my prison,” Jim said, sounding forlorn.

“Riverside is not a prison, Jim.”

“It kinda is, Spock.”

“No, it is not. You are speaking from an entirely emotional place. It is your home.”

“I kinda thought _this_ was my home.” Jim got up from the couch. “Anyone want more coffee or tea?”

“I would like some more tea, Jim,” Serran said. He then leaned over to say something to McCoy.

Spock’s mother touched Spock’s arm and said, “You should go in and check on Jim.”

“Why?”

“He’s upset, Spock.” Her voice was whisper soft.

Spock blinked. He felt nothing along their bond to indicate such. But perhaps Jim was becoming better at controlling his side of the bond than Spock thought. He nodded and rose to go into the kitchen.

Jim had his back to Spock and he stood at the sink, doing nothing but staring out the window.

“Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“What has distressed you?”

“Nothing.”

Spock concentrated and now he could feel the emotional upheaval bleeding through their bond. He stepped closer. “You are not being truthful.”

“It’s just…the summer is going so fast. I’m going to have to go back there soon and I want to be here with you.”

“But I will not be here.”

Jim laughed but it wasn’t with humor. “I know. How could I forget?”

“Your distress is affecting your memory.” Spock touched Jim’s shoulder. The despair was suddenly palpable. “Are you crying?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know.” Jim wiped his face.

Spock grasped his arms and turned his mate to face him. Jim’s eyes were wet and red. “Ashaya, I thought you had accepted this.”

“I have. Okay? Doesn’t mean I have to love it.”

Spock exhaled slowly. His mate’s needs mattered more than anything. “If you wish me to withdraw from Captain Pike’s mission, I will do so.”

If anything, Jim looked more upset. “No, no, Spock. I don’t want that. I’m just being a selfish idiot.”

“You are not,” Spock said softly. “And you are right, this is your home.”

Jim smiled and wrapped his arms around Spock’s waist. Spock pulled him closer, inching his hands under Jim’s shirt, seeking skin. He let the contact soothe them both.

“I should get more coffee.”

“I am certain you have had enough caffeine, Jim.”

He laughed at that. “What? No.”

“You are bouncing constantly. You will never get to sleep tonight.”

“You’ll have to entertain me then, won’t you?” Jim pulled back and winked. “Okay. Getting the dessert and the coffee and tea. Well, you carry the tea. I only have two hands,” Jim said illogically.

“I only have two hands as well,” Spock pointed out.

“God, you are so cute, babe.”

Spock had no idea why Jim thought that made him cute, but he picked up the teapot and followed Jim out of the kitchen.  


	30. Departure

“This is so cool,” Jim shouted over the loud, thumping beat of the music. They’d managed to gain entrance to the club, _Obscure_. How, Jim wasn’t quite sure. It was Bones that got the three of them past the bouncer, some big muscular dude with a goatee that Bones seemed to be friends with.

“Don’t act like you just got off the corn picking truck, kid, and you’ll be okay,” Bones told him as they surveyed the crowded dance floor.

“Do you intend to consume alcoholic beverages, Jim?” Serran asked from beside him.

Honestly, Jim had been surprised the Vulcan had agreed to sneak into the club. Jim would never have asked Spock for he knew how _that_ conversation would have gone. Serran had been surprisingly willing. Jim had begun to suspect Serran might have a bit of a thing for Bones.

“No alcohol,” Bones said. “It’s bad enough I got you two in here as it is. If Starfleet finds out I could be under disciplinary action.” He eyed Jim. “And if your husband or whatever finds out I can kiss my ass goodbye.”

“Well, I certainly didn’t tell him. I just want to do some dancing.” He was already tapping his legs and he noticed a tall blonde woman eyeing him from the side of the dance floor. He vaguely recognized her from the academy. Janice Rand or something.

Serran followed his glance. “You intend to engage in movement on the dance floor with that female?”

“Well her or someone.” Jim grinned. “You two can stand here all night, but I’m going to dance.”

He made his way on the dance floor and the blonde immediately came to him. They started gyrating to the music, sometimes coming close to rubbing on each other. He was aware of Bones and Serran joining him on the dance floor and dancing with each other but Jim was having far too much fun to pay attention. He hadn’t danced in ages.

He’d danced three songs, totally exhilarated. He’d danced with others on the floor, switching all around, and was getting set to dance a fourth song with Janice, as she confirmed her name was, when he suddenly felt intense jealousy. Jim stumbled.

Janice gripped his arms. “Jim? Are you all right?”

“Uh, yeah, I…I’m fine.” And then he noticed Spock, looking angry—yes angry—making his way toward Jim.

Janice followed his gaze. “Isn’t that Professor Spock?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, great. He’s probably gonna make a big deal,” she complained.

“Yeah,” Jim agreed. “You don’t have to worry. But I do.”

“Why?”

“He’s…well he’s my…you know. My husband. Kind of.”

Her eyes widened as she stared at him but Jim stopped paying attention to her because Spock had reached them. He said not a word but closed his fingers around Jim’s wrist and tugged him from the dance floor.

“Spock! Wait!” Jim protested.

But Spock didn’t stop until they were out of _Obscure_ and standing on the sidewalk. By then Spock wasn’t the only one angry.     

“Let go of me,” Jim snapped. Spock released his wrist instantly. “What the fucking hell?”

“My apologies,” Spock said stiffly. “It was not my intention to hurt you but rather to take you out of a situation you had no business being in.”

“What?”

“If the academy learns of your entering such a facility while underage you could be expelled.”

“That would be my problem not yours,” Jim told him.

“Since they know of your relationship with me it would also reflect on me,” Spock replied.

Jim narrowed his eyes. “So, I’d be an embarrassment to you.”

“Jim, it is my duty to see to your welfare and that you conduct yourself with circumspection.”

“No. You’re supposed to be my lover, Spock, not my fucking father!”

Spock straightened, his expression going completely blank. He did not say a word, but turned on his heels and began to walk up the street.

Jim stared after his retreating figure. “Spock! Spock, wait.” He hurried to catch up with his mate, but people on the sidewalk kept getting in his way and the Vulcan had long legs. By the time Jim reached the apartment building there was no sign of Spock.

With a heavy heart, Jim made his way up to their place but he couldn’t find Spock in his room, so he went to the kitchen where Amanda was fixing herself tea.

He bit his lip. “Did-did Spock come in?”

“Yes,” she said softly. “He went outside onto the balcony. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine.” He wasn’t sure if that was for Amanda or himself though. He went out to the sliding door leading to the balcony and saw Spock standing by the railing. He slid open the door and went outside.  

“Spock?”

Spock didn’t answer but Jim knew by the stiffening of Spock’s shoulders he was not pleased.

“Spock, I’m sorry. I’m such a dick. I know that. We both know it. Please, just, can you…?” He went to Spock and touched his back, trying to get Spock to turn around. Spock didn’t move. Jim’s heart hammered hard. “Spock, please? I’m sorry.”

“I was not aware I was overstepping our relationship,” Spock said quietly.

“You-you aren’t.”

“I am not trying to be your father, Jim.”

Jim swallowed. “I know that. That was a dick thing to say. I know you only want what’s best for me. I was being stupid. I shouldn’t have gone there. It was just—it’s almost over. I wanted to do something fun before I had to go back. I knew it would upset you, so I didn’t tell you. It was stupid. I’m sorry.”

“I do not try to restrain your activities.”

“No, I know. Spock, can you, please, look at me?”

Spock finally looked at him, but his eyes were distant. Jim’s stomach twisted, his heart plummeted. He was trying, really, not to get all emotional on Spock. He knew it made him uncomfortable. Jim had been working on it these last months. But damn he felt his eyes sting.

“I love you,” Jim whispered, ashamed when his voice broke.

Spock stared at him then, seeming to focus on Jim for the first time.

“I didn’t mean to make you mad at me.”

“I am not,” Spock said. His hand rose to Jim’s cheek and his fingers spread out. “You are distressed. There is no need, ashaya.”

“Yes, there is. I upset you.”

Spock shook his head. “A small thing. A mere misunderstanding. Your Starfleet career is important to you. I only sought to prevent you from damage.”

“I know. It was stupid. I jeopardized Bones and Serran, too. Just because I can’t control myself.”

“I sometimes forget how young you still are,” Spock said. “And the woman. You wanted her?”

“What?” Jim’s heart was hammering once more. “No, no. God, no. Oh, Spock.” Jim threw his arms around his lover. “Never. I don’t want anyone but you.”

Spock’s arms came around him. “You spoke before about it being difficult.”

“It’s not. Not at all. I thought it would be. But I love you so much. God. I felt your jealousy. I just didn’t think.”

Spock leaned his forehead against Jim’s. “We are still learning about each other, about our bond. It is normal to feel uncertain for both of us.”

“Yeah?” Jim pulled back to search Spock’s face. “So you forgive me?”

“There is nothing to forgive, ashaya.” Spock kissed him. Then he turned Jim’s wrist over to look at it. “I did not cause you pain?”

“No, you didn’t.”

Spock lifted his wrist to his lips. “I would never wish to harm you, t’hy’la.”

Jim smiled. “We’re okay then?”

“Always.”

****

Jim couldn’t believe the day had come for him to be parted from Spock. He was returning to Riverside and Spock was going into space with Captain Pike. With Uhura. Without him.

He was holding it together as he waited at the station for his train to arrive. The train that would take him away from Sarek and Amanda. And Spock. Spock.

It was killing him.

The three of them stood with him. His second family. He’d wanted to ask to stay with Spock’s parents but then Sam and his dad had sounded so excited to have him coming home Jim hadn’t had the heart to tell them he didn’t want to.

Jim was managing not to cry….barely. During the night Spock had held him and he’d cried a little then. He didn’t want to put on such a display in public with his Vulcan father-in-law and Vulcan mate watching him. He had to be strong.

He’d already said goodbye to the friends he’d made during the summer program. Most especially Bones and Serran, who promised they would try to visit him in Riverside if given the chance.

“Did you remember everything, Jim?” Amanda asked him. She’d asked before and Jim had answered. He knew she was as anxious as he was though so he didn’t mind her asking again.

“Yeah, I got it all,” he assured her. He heard the train approaching. They all did. Amanda bit her lip while the Vulcans looked more calm and collected. Jim was not fooled. He felt Spock’s anxiety, his dismay.

Amanda straightened her headscarf. “I guess this is it.”

“Yes. For now.” Jim intended to come back as soon as he could. The minute there was a holiday break he would come back to see Amanda and Sarek. But not Spock. Spock would be in space. He went to her and wrapped his arms around her in an embrace. She would hug him, anyway.

“Take care of yourself, sweetheart,” she whispered, holding him tight.

His throat clogged and he nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He pulled away from her because he had to and he raised his hand in the ta’al for Sarek.

“Live Long and Prosper, sir.”

“Live Long and Prosper, James,” Sarek replied. “You are welcome to return whenever you desire.”

“Thank you.”

Spock’s parents stepped back then to leave them privacy.

For a long time he and Spock just stared at each other. Jim’s throat was raw, desperately trying to keep himself from crying.

“Parted from me and never parted,” Spock finally said.

“Never and always touching and touched.”

Spock stroked his fingers along Jim’s.

“You-you won’t forget me?”

“I will not. You are all there is for me.”

Jim’s breath hitched and the train stopped behind him and the doors opened. “I’ll miss you.”

Spock nodded. “The train is here.”

“I know.” He pulled on all the strength he could. “Be safe.”

“And you.”

Jim bent down to pick up his bag. “See you.”

“Goodbye, Jim.”

He turned and walked up to the stairs of the train, and boarded it without looking back. As he got to his car and took his seat, he allowed the tears he’d held back to fall.       


	31. Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This might be a tough one.

_Hey, Spock. I made it. I’m here. Dad picked me up. He hugged the stuffing out of me. And right now I bet you are wondering exactly what that means, huh?_

Spock picked up his teacup and took a sip. Then he typed back.

_I am aware of the strange human saying. Continue._

_I think he felt bad or something because he took me to a restaurant on the way back to the farmhouse that serves these big greasy burgers. I had two. Now my stomach hurts._

_I am not surprised. I am gratified that you made it there without incident._

_Aurelan’s baby is adorable. Peter is his name. I forget if I told you that. But anyway, Peter Kirk. He’s got the Kirk blue eyes. But you know they are already talking about leaving._

Spock looked up from his PADD for a moment as the waitress in the tea shop set a scone in front of him and then continued on her way. It was supposed to be some sort of fruit scone but Spock could not decide what the odd almost gray sort of fruit was supposed to be.

_Where will they go?_

_Chicago. Sam’s talked about it for years. There’s this science institute there he’s always wanted to be a part of. Aurelan, too. I guess it’s going to be just Dad and me. When…_

When Jim didn’t continue, Spock prompted.

_When?_

_Does your ship leave?_

_The ship is Captain Pike’s._

_Yeah._

_One week from today._

A full two minutes passed without anything else from Jim.

_Jim?_

_I’m here, Spock. This is just really hard. I just…hate it._

_We can only hope that it will pass quickly._

_And when you are on the ship, we won’t be able to talk like this, will we?_

_It is not likely. The sector where the ship is going will not be in range._

_Okay. I have to go, Spock. Aurelan wants to show me how to change Peter’s diaper._

_Very well. Talk soon, Jim._

_Sure, Spock. Bye._

Spock curled his fingers into a fist. This was indeed more difficult than he had anticipated. He could almost hear the overwhelming sadness in Jim’s words over the PADD.

Nyota flopped down across from him. “Sorry, I’m late.” She eyed his PADD. “Who were you talking to?”

“Jim.”

She smiled and shook her head. “Never thought I’d see it.”

“See what?”

“You have it bad.”

“I do not understand.”

“You’re really in love with Jim Kirk, aren’t you?”

“He is my mate.”

Nyota nodded. “Sure, I understand that. And I imagine that’s part of it for a Vulcan. But I think it’s more than that. I never would have believed  you could be this way with someone when we were dating.”

Spock decided a change of subject was in order. “Are you ready for the voyage at the end of the week?”

She threw her head back and laughed. “Okay, I get it. Shut up, Nyota. I’m totally ready. I can’t wait.”

****

_Three weeks later_

“I think that’s everything,” Sam announced as he, Aurelan and Peter stood in the front hallway of the farmhouse.

Jim forced a smile. “Seems to be.”

Sam stared at him for a long time. “We don’t have to go.”

“Don’t be stupid, yeah you do. We talked about this. This is what you guys want.”

“We can postpone it until you graduate.”

“And then what? You’ve lost another year.” Jim put his arm around Sam. “I love you. But you have to do this. We both know it. Now’s as a good a time as any. Better even.”

Sam hugged him. “You really are the best. You’re going to be that big starship captain someday and I get to say that’s my brother.”

Jim’s throat clogged. “Yeah.”

“Oh, you guys,” Aurelan said with a sniff. “You two are going to get me going again.”

Jim pulled away from his brother. “You’d better get going. The train leaves soon.” He kissed Aurelan’s cheek. “Take care of both of them, okay, Re?”

“I will, Jimmy.” She smiled but there were tears in her eyes.

“Did you say goodbye to Dad?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, before he left to go into town earlier.”

“Okay, then. Be safe.” Jim followed them to the door. When they were gone, he leaned against the door and sighed.

So far he managed to survive Spock leaving him and now Sam. He was still in once piece. It fucking hurt like hell, but he was keeping it together. Hell, he was keeping it together even after getting the message from Amanda and Sarek saying they were returning to Vulcan for a few weeks. They left two days ago.

What Jim really wanted to do right then was to get on the old motorcycle his dad had in the barn and just ride to the ends of the Earth. Or until he ran out of gas anyway.

He went out to the barn and got on the bike. When he’d come back to Riverside, he and his dad had a long talk about responsibility and adulthood. There’d been a little bit of trying to talk Jim out of Starfleet again, too. They’d agreed to disagree on that.

By the time Jim turned the cycle around and headed back to the farmhouse—he couldn’t think of it as home, not anymore—it was after dark. He’d stopped for a bit at a place where he could get a drink and no one asked him how old he was. A girl he’d once known had been there and wanted to get involved in something, but Jim didn’t want anyone but Spock now. Part of him was pretty sure that was fucked up, but there it was. Ruined by a Vulcan.

He’d smoked a couple of cigarettes with her, the kind that were more vapor than smoke, but he hadn’t really liked it and he couldn’t help but think Spock wouldn’t approve. Damn Vulcan wasn’t even there and Jim was worried about his disapproval.

He put the bike away in the barn but didn’t go back into the house immediately. Instead he took out the PADD he had tucked into his jacket and sat in one of the old stalls that used to contain horses years ago. His dad had sold the last one when Jim was ten.

He had a message from Bones which made Jim smile for real for the first time that day.

_Hey, kid._

_Told you I’d write you so I guess I am. It’s boring here without you. And even the hobgoblin. That’s Spock. Serran is still bugging me. I think a full-blooded hobgoblin is even more annoying than the half-one._

_Actually, that’s one of the reasons I’m writing you. Serran and I have decided to put you out of your misery there and come to see you. Yeah, yeah, you can thank me later. Can’t stay long or anything, but a couple of days is probably all you can stand of us anyway. We should arrive tomorrow afternoon. Hope that’s okay with your dad. Probably should have asked him first._

_Anyway, if he doesn’t want us there, you’d better message me back before tomorrow morning. See you soon, kid._

Jim grinned. Now he had something to look forward to! It had only been three weeks but damn he missed everything about San Francisco. And everyone.

He got up and went into the house to tell his dad.

“Dad? Hey Dad?”

And that’s when Jim saw his dad lying on the kitchen floor. His heart leapt to his throat.

“Dad?”

Jim skidded to the kitchen floor. His father was face down. He turned him over.

“Dad! Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.”

His father’s eyes were open and staring straight ahead. Jim’s eyes stung as tears began to flood down his face.

“Please, no. Please. Please. Don’t do this to me. Please. I can’t. Please.” He grabbed the collar of his dad’s flannel shirt and buried his face in his father’s chest. “No, please. Don’t leave me, too. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

But of course his dad couldn’t answer. He was cold to the touch and Jim knew exactly what that meant.


	32. Homecoming

Spock was at his science station surveying the Hydra II Sector when crushing grief assailed him. So sharp, so poignant, his head exploded with pain, anguish. He caught his breath against the onslaught.

“Commander?” Pike’s captain’s chair swiveled toward him. “Is there a problem?”

His eyes suddenly burned with tears, tears he could not stop from forming. His heart began to pound, it constricted, squeezing in his side.

Sorrow, immense sorrow that seemed unending.

Pike had risen now and approached his station as had Nyota.

“Spock?” Pike asked.

“Jim,” Spock got out, his voice strangled. This pain, this absolute devastation came from Jim.

“What about Jim?” Nyota whispered. “Is he all right?”

“No.” Spock’s hand clenched into fists. It was too much, so much anguish, grief, sadness. He swayed in his chair.

“Commander, you’re off duty now. Report to the medbay.” Pike looked to Uhura. “You see that he gets there. I want a full report.”

“Yes, Captain.”

****

“I’ve contacted Sam,” Bones said gently, kneeling beside the couch where Jim sat huddled under a blanket. “He’s catching the next train from Chicago.”

He had his knees drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped around the knees. In spite of the blanket Serran had covered him with half an hour ago he was freezing. So freezing.

Jim nodded, staring at nothing.

“Look…ah, I tried to reach Spock, but they said…he’s probably too far right now. But they’ll keep trying.”

Jim nodded again.

Bones squeezed his leg. “Listen, Jim, Serran made you some tea. Do you want it?”

Jim didn’t respond. Didn’t know how to respond. He was numb. So fucking numb. And cold.

“You’re shivering. Maybe the tea will help warm you up, okay?” Bones pried Jim’s hands from clenching tight around his legs and he placed the mug of hot steaming tea into Jim’s hands.

“I also sent a message to Spock’s parents on Vulcan. I haven’t gotten a response yet.”

Jim blinked and focused on Bones. “All right.”

“Do you need anything, Jim?” Serran asked, softly. He stood next to the couch and behind Bones.

What he needed was his dad. He wanted his dad. Tears welled in his eyes again and he shook his head. He couldn’t. It would kill him to start crying again.

“Something to eat?” Serran suggested. He looked very upset. Even for a Vulcan.

“No, Serran. Thank you.” Jim looked at them. At least his two friends came. He had them, didn’t he? “Sit down, okay?”

They both appeared to want to argue but Serran took a chair near the couch and Bones sat in the very opposite corner of Jim on the couch.

“It was a heart attack,” Jim said. “He wasn’t old enough to have a heart attack, was he?”

“You can be all ages for that, unfortunately,” Bones replied.

Jim nodded. “If I was here, do you think I could have saved him?”

“I don’t know, kid. From what they said, he went pretty quick. It’s hard to say. And really, Jim, don’t do that to yourself.”

“I should have been here.”

“Jim—”

“No.” Jim shook his head. “I mean, I never should have left. I shouldn’t have gone to San Francisco. Maybe there were signs, you know? If I’d been here I wouldn’t have missed them. He could have gone to the doctor or something. Right? I—I could have done something.”

“Jim, honey, no. Please don’t do this to yourself,” Bones said softly, squeezing his leg. “This sort of talk does no one good. It’s not your fault. He just had a bad heart.”

“If I’d stayed here, we could have had more time. Maybe he would have died anyway, but I’d have those stupid three months with him.” The tears were falling again and Jim didn’t even try to brush them away. His stomach hurt, his chest hurt. He wanted the numbness back. “But I was so fucking selfish. Only thinking about what I wanted. He didn’t want me to go and I shouldn’t have.”

“I know it feels like everything is coming down on you right now. Everything is as bad as it could be, but, Jim, I promise, it will get better.” Bones sighed. “You’re tired. I know you haven’t gotten any sleep. I want you to go upstairs and try to get some.”

“I can’t sleep.”

Bones stood up and pulled Jim off the couch and to his feet. “I’ll give you something that will make you sleep. The next few days are going to be rough. You need what rest you can get.”

Jim let Bones take him upstairs and then he led him into his room. For a long time, Jim just stared at his bed, still unmade from the night before. Well, the night before that, actually. He’d never gone to sleep after he found his dad.

“It’s gotta be the worst thing in the world to die alone, don’t you think, Bones? No one there to help you or tell you they love you. Any of that.”

“Jim.”

He sighed and lay down on the bed, under the covers. He stared at Bones as he tucked the covers around him. His eyes welled with tears again.

“What?” Bones asked gently.

“No, it’s nothing.”

Bones sat on the edge of the bed. “It’s not nothing. Tell me.”

“Just thinking about my dad. He used to tuck Sam and me in bed when we were little kids.”

“Yeah?” Bones smiled and brushed a lock of hair off Jim’s forehead. “Bet he was a great dad.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m gonna give you a shot now, okay? It won’t hurt. Just a little pinch.”

Jim nodded. Bones jabbed his neck. “Ouch. You call that a little—”

****

He woke to voices, clearly trying to be quiet, but not really succeeding.

“Yeah, it’s going to have to change. He might not like it, but I don’t know what else to do.”

Sam. His brother was there.

“He’s a bit in shock. I gave him something to sleep, but I gotta tell you he wasn’t doing well. Not at all,” Bones said.

“I know. And I hate that he had to deal with this by himself. But I’m here now. I can take care of him.”

The voices drifted away then and came back with Sam’s voice again.

“I don’t even know them. They aren’t taking care of him. He’s my brother.” Sam sighed. “Jim might not admit it, but he and Dad were really close. They’re so much alike, it’s scary. Were.”

“I think he’s awake,” Bones said, suddenly coming close to Jim’s bed.

Jim stared at him. “Hey.”

“Hi, kid. Your brother’s here.”

Jim sat up as Sam came to him, sat on the bed and hugged him.

“Can you give us a minute?” Sam asked Bones.

“Sure, I’ll be downstairs.”

Sam leaned back and studied Jim’s face. “You’ve been crying a lot, kiddo.”

“I’ve tried not to.”

“No, it’s okay. He was our dad. You can cry.”

“Did Aurelan come?”

“No, she stayed in Chicago with Peter. We thought it was too much traveling.” Sam touched Jim’s face, wiped under his eye. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have had to face that alone.”

“Yeah. I—I wasn’t here when it happened. I found him.”

“I know. Maybe that was for the best. It probably would have scared you seeing it happen.”

Jim nodded, not really knowing what to say.

“Look, kiddo, we need to talk about something.”

“All right.”

Sam kept his arm around Jim. “After the service for Dad, you’re coming to Chicago with me.”

“What?”

“Jim, you can’t stay here by yourself. I know we’ve all been treating you like you’re already an adult, but the truth is, kiddo, you’re just a kid.”

“I’m not,” Jim denied.

“Yes, you are. You’re a minor. You can’t stay in Riverside by yourself. You’re coming to live with us in Chicago.”

Jim shook his head. “I don’t want to live there. I want to live in San Francisco.”

“When you’re old enough, if you want to move there, then you can. But right now, I’m responsible for you.”

“Sammy, no. I could-I could live with Sarek and Amanda.”

Sam was already shaking his head. “No. They aren’t your family. I don’t even _know_ them.”

“You could meet them.”

“It doesn’t matter, Jim. I’m not letting you stay with two fucking strangers over your own family,” Sam snapped. “They aren’t anyone to you. All they are is Spock’s parents. And I don’t even really know Spock. Who isn’t even around.”

“He’s on a ship.”

“And he might be on that ship for the whole time you’re a minor. I know you love him and you’re bonded by Vulcan law or whatever, but you aren’t a Vulcan and he’s not here. And right now you’re my responsibility as my kid brother. When the service is over, you’ll need to pack up your stuff. We’ll put the farmhouse up for sale. Neither of us wanted to stay here anyway. This was dad’s dream.”

“You can’t just come here and upend my whole fucking life, Sammy,” Jim said angrily.

“I can, because I’m your damn family, Jim, and I want what’s best for you. I know you never have been able to wait to get away from us, but you’re going to have to wait now.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Jesus, Jim, you’ve always been talking about getting away from Riverside and the farmhouse and going out into space. And us. Us, too.” Sam’s eyes were filled with tears.

“I didn’t want to get away from you and Dad.”

“It felt like that sometimes.”

“But you wanted to get away too. You were the one who told me you had to leave, you had to get to Chicago.”

“Yeah,” Sam admitted. “Yeah, I did. I hated it here.”

“Me, too,” Jim whispered. He looked away from Sam. “Do you remember when Dad sold the last horse?”

“Yeah.”

“He looked so sad. I remember what he said, Sammy.”

“I remember too, kiddo. He said since the two of us didn’t want this place he might as well get rid of the horses. Hank was the last one.”

“He looked so sad," Jim said again. "Mom was gone and we didn’t want to stay. Do you think we made him sad, Sammy? Were we such fucking brats that we broke his heart?”

“No, Jim, no. No.” Sam pulled him into his arms. “That’s not it at all. Dad loved us. He was proud of us. Okay? He was proud of us.”

Jim’s tears started flowing again as he leaned his head on Sam’s shoulder.

****

Jim sat on a bunch of old crates left in a field in the middle of Riverside. The crates had been there for years. He’d often gone there just to sit and think. Now after his father’s service, he was there at night with Bones and Serran. None of the three of them had said much. He was glad they were there though.

“You are really going to Chicago, Jim?” Serran asked.

“Looks like I don’t have much of a choice. I don’t want to stay here, but I don’t want to go there.” Jim swung his feet.

“They still have not reached Spock?”

Jim shrugged. “I guess not.”

“And Sarek and Amanda?”

“They offered to take me, but Sam said no.” Jim sighed. “I’m just going to take the GED and get my diploma.”

“Well, you won’t have to worry about that,” Bones spoke up. “You’ll pass that with flying colors. You hear that?”

“Hear what?” Jim asked.

Serran tilted his head. “A rather odd buzzing mechanical noise. I have been hearing it since we arrived at this location. From the shipyard perhaps?”

“We’re not that close,” Jim replied, standing up. “Yeah. Yeah, I hear it too.”

He started walking toward the middle of the field and the noise got louder.

“Jim? Jim, what are you doing?” Bones demanded.

“Shh!”

Serran suddenly pulled Jim down to a crouch as right in front of their eyes a very large starship appeared.

“Fuck me,” Jim breathed.

“What the hell?”

“Cloaking device?” Serran murmured.

Jim frowned. “I’ve heard rumors of the Romulans having something but…shit.”

“Jim, this ship is a Romulan vessel,” Serran whispered.

“Yeah, I got that myself. What the hell are they doing here?”

“I don’t know, Jim,” Bones said. “But we better get the hell out of here and report it right away.”

“Definitely,” Jim agreed. “I’m getting on that ship.”

Bones stared at him. “What now?”

“I’m getting on the ship. You go back and report it, Bones.”

“Are you out of your corn picking mind? Jim, that’s a Romulan ship.”

“I know what it is. That’s why I’m getting on it.”

“Oh, sure. You think you can just walk up the ramp and say how ya doing fellows?”

Jim shook his head. “Of course not. I’ll have to knock someone out or something.”

“Oh, my God,” Bones moaned.

“I will go too,” Serran announced.

“You too?”

“Jim should not face this alone,” Serran said quietly. “Spock would not want him to.”

“Spock wouldn’t want him to do it in the first place.”

“Spock isn’t here,” Jim said. “And I’m done arguing. See you, Bones.”

And Jim took off running, followed by Serran.


	33. Insidious

“That was…exhilarating,” Jim whispered to Serran after they took out two guards to get onto the ship. “I love that neck pinch thing.”

“Nerve pinch,” Serran said primly.

“Shh.” Jim pulled Serran’s arm and yanked him down and out of the way of a big Romulan coming toward their location.

The Romulan, big, beefy and bald, paused right by their location. He looked around, eyes narrowed. Jim could hear him breathing he was so close. Jim started to sweat. He wiped his palms on his jeans and hoped Serran would be ready with the nerve pinch, because though they’d taken the disruptors from the guards, Jim didn’t really relish using them.

But then, the Romulan shook his head, mumbled something to himself, and moved off. Jim leaned against the bulkhead with a sense of relief. “Wow, this place is huge. And so intense. Wonder why they’re here. I’m dying to find out.”

“There is no way for us to know in the short amount of time we are here,” Serran whispered. “I recommend we return to Leonard and report our findings to the Federation immediately.”

“We just got here.” His communicator beeped. Jim winced, hoping that wouldn’t alert any Romulans to their location. Of course they’d know soon enough when the guards they’d overpowered woke up. “Bones, in case you’ve forgotten, we’re on an enemy ship.”

“ _I_ haven’t forgotten, you idiot. The ship is cloaked again. You better get your asses off that ship and fast. Your boyfriend’s gonna pop a vein if anything happens to you,” Bones said, furiously.

“I haven’t had a chance to even look around and figure out what they’re here for.”

“Let those in charge figure it out, Jim. Jesus, kid, you may be a badass genius, but you’re only sixteen. Get off that ship.”

Jim bit his lip. Of course he knew Bones was right. He was totally in over his head. And Spock would go fucking nuts if something happened to him. He had a feeling a Vulcan losing his shit would be something to see.

But he also knew that this was big. Very big. Something bad was going to happen. Jim knew.

“Bones—”

The ship began to shake and vibrate.

 _Shit_.

“Jim,” Serran said, grabbing his arm. “The ship is moving. I believe we are about to take off.”

 _Shit_.

“Bones, we’re taking off,” Jim said.

“What? You’re what?”

“I know, I know. Tell Spock—I don’t know. Just tell Spock. And we need help.”

“Jesus, Jim, of all the stupid—”

He heard voices coming toward their location. He closed the communicator and stuffed it out of sight.

“Jim, there is something I must tell you,” Serran said softly.

“Now? They are coming.”

Serran nodded. “Now.” He stood up just as two Romulans appeared by them.

“Get up, Human,” one of the Romulans said, pointing his disruptor at Jim. “Drop the disruptor.”

Jim tried to control his shaking. But fuck, he was scared. He left the disruptor on the floor and stood up, hands raised. A glance at Serran told him he still held his disruptor.

“My mother was Romulan,” Serran said quietly. He walked over to stand next to the two Romulans.

Jim thought he might just throw up. His stomach twisted and he was unable to hold back a dry heave. Betrayal, thick and insidious, curled around his mind…his heart, infecting them.

“You bastard,” he whispered. He felt like he’d been kicked.

“I am sorry, Jim. I like you.” He pointed his disruptor at Jim.

Panic nearly overwhelmed him. “No, please.”

And Serran fired.

****

Jim woke to find himself strapped to some sort of flat metal bed-shaped contraption. He had no idea how long he’d been out but his head hurt like a son of a bitch. That was nothing compared to the way his heart hurt.

That he had been captured by Romulans and betrayed by someone he thought was a friend was certainly clear. He was pretty sure he was never going to see Spock again and that just about killed him. He had no idea how far the bond thing worked but he tried anyway.

_I’m sorry, Spock. I really screwed up._

“This is him? The famous James T. Kirk?” Someone he could not see demanded, approaching him. Suddenly a large, muscular, bald Romulan glared down at him. He looked angry and more than a little crazy. “Do you know who I am, James T. Kirk?”

Jim shook his head.

“I am Nero.”

The name meant nothing to him.

Suddenly he was raised up so that he could see the room around him with the Romulan, Nero, and three other Romulans, one of which was Serran.

“Do you know where Spock is?” Nero demanded.

“I don’t know any Spock.”

Nero got in his face. “You lie! I know you know him. Where is he?”

“I don’t know any Spock,” Jim repeated.

Nero grabbed Jim’s face, squeezing his fingers hard into the flesh. There’d be bruises for sure. “I should just kill you now.”

Jim didn’t respond, just kept his face as blank as he could, as a Vulcan would. Inside, he was ready to pee his pants.

Nero released his face and walked away. “You think I can’t make you talk? I can, James T. Kirk.”

He returned to Jim holding a Centaurian Slug between his two fingers. The slug wiggled helplessly in his grip.

“Do you know what this is?”

Jim shrugged, his heart pounding so hard he thought it might burst.

“It is a Centaurian Slug. It slips into your mouth, makes its way to your brain stem, all the while slithering inside you. When it attaches itself to your brain stem, you will tell me all I want to know and more. You will beg for release.”

Okay, he sure as hell did not want _that_ , but Jim wouldn’t give in. He’d rather die now than tell this Nero anything he wanted to know. He was pretty sure this guy intended to kill him anyway. And he had a feeling it would be in an incredibly painful way.

“Still no?” Nero shook his head, an ugly smile on his face. “Very well.” He held the fingers holding the slug over Jim’s mouth.

“Wait,” Serran spoke up. “Nero, he is just a kid.”

“Now, yes, but later—”

“Remember your brother? He was the same age as Jim,” Serran said. “Jim knows nothing that will help you. I can tell you where Spock is. He is in the Hydra II Sector. Too far at the moment to affect your plans for Vulcan.”

Nero stared at Jim for a moment, still holding the slug, then abruptly, he turned away. “Very well. Guard him. It is time to prepare the red matter.”

Nero walked away, followed by the other two Romulans, leaving only Serran with Jim.

“I am sorry, Jim. I did not intend for you to board the ship.”

“But you knew it was in Riverside?”

Serran nodded. “Yes. That is why I came with Leonard. It was my intention to board when you and Leonard were otherwise occupied. However, you are unpredictable.”

“What is he doing with Vulcan?”

“He plans to destroy it.”

“What? How can you allow that? You’re half Vulcan, right?”

“Yes,” Serran said. “Nero is my half-brother. I have traveled with him. There is nothing I can do to stop what he plans.”

“So, you are just going to let him?”

Serran opened his mouth to speak but as Jim watched, a hand came to his neck and squeezed, dropping Serran to the ground.

An old Vulcan appeared. A familiar old Vulcan, Jim realized.

“Spock?”

“I see you have gotten yourself into a mess, have you not?”  


	34. A Familiar Face

Spock was sitting on a biobed in the ship’s medbay waiting to be dismissed to return to the bridge. The crushing grief had muted, but he could still feel it, an ache so powerful he felt it in his heart and in the pit of his stomach. That he could not be with Jim right now was a burden he felt very strongly.

It had been logical, of course, to accept the separation between them, to get used to it for the future if nothing else, though it was likely once Jim finished the academy they could arrange to serve on the same ship given their bond, there were always unknown circumstances that could separate couples.

Spock had not expected this rush of emotional turmoil to happen so soon after they had been separated.

Nyota had stayed with him in the medbay and now she returned with a cup of tea in her hands, which she gave to Spock.

“How do you feel?” she asked. “Any better?”

“No. I have attempted to strengthen my shields but with only limited success,” Spock admitted.

“What do you think happened?”

Spock shook his head. “I do not know. I only know Jim is devastated.”

Nyota patted his arm. “I know this must be so hard for you.”

“Yes.”

“Could it be his family? Something to do with them?”

“I would prefer not to speculate.”

The doctor walked past them, and Spock opened his mouth to ask when he would be permitted to return to the bridge, when a wave of excitement, fear, and immense dread hit him so hard he dropped to his knees. The teacup crashed to the floor.

Nyota gasped. “Spock!”

“Something is very wrong. We must return to Earth. Get Captain Pike.”

****

“So, I’m just supposed to return to Earth, leave the Hydra Sector, based on a feeling you have?” Pike asked, standing in front of Spock with his hands on his hips. Spock was once more sitting on the biobed.

“Affirmative.”

“Why?”

“Jim is in danger,” Spock said quietly.

“Commander, I was unaware when I chose you for this mission that you would be emotionally compromised due to your bond with Cadet Kirk.”

“It is more than that, Captain. I am aware you are not familiar with Vulcan bonds. I do not ask this merely out of emotional concern for Jim. The danger is of a physical nature.”

“There’s a space station between here and Earth. We can have Uhura contact the station and have them contact Earth. That should give us some clue about what’s going on if anything before we go flying back there at warp speed for no reason.”

“There is a reason,” Spock said quietly. “But I agree your suggestion is sound.”

Pike turned to Nyota. “Contact the station. Priority channel.”

“Yes, sir.”

Pike turned back to Spock. “Are you fit for bridge duty?”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Then let’s go.”

****

“Spock! Shit, what the hell happened to you?” Jim exclaimed, staring at the old Vulcan as Spock approached the metal bed contraption Jim was strapped to.

Spock looked amused. “I am from the future, Jim.”

“No shit.”

Spock removed the straps and helped him to the ground and to stand. Spock kept his hands on Jim’s arms.

“You are remarkably young. Are you…a teenager?”

Jim nodded. “Yeah, sixteen. I’ll be seventeen in the spring. How old are you?”

“Considerably older. Fascinating. Yet you and I are already bonded, are we not?”

“Yep. We discovered the bond when you came to Riverside.”

Spock nodded. “Fascinating,” he repeated. “This is the youngest you have yet been.”

Jim sighed. “No offense, Spock, because really, I am so fucking glad you’re here. But why is future you on a Romulan ship?”

“I wonder what you are doing on one as well, ashaya,” Spock said. “But we cannot linger here. We have much to discuss but we must move on from this location.” He glanced down at the unconscious Serran. “Who is he?”

“His name is Serran. Until very recently I thought he was a friend.”

“We will leave him then.” Spock closed his hand around Jim’s wrist and pulled him with him. “Come.”

“Funny how when our skin touches, it feels pretty much the same when I touch younger you,” Jim commented as they left the area and walked down what looked to be a vacant corridor. It was the direction Spock had come from.

“I am Spock, so that is hardly surprising or particularly humorous.”

Jim saw the corridor was actually littered with unconscious Romulans. “You?”

“Affirmative.”

“How long will they be out?”

“Preferably long enough for us to reach the red matter.”

Jim frowned. “Red matter?”

“It is Nero’s intention to use the red matter to destroy Vulcan, Jim. I am here to hopefully prevent that.”

Jim stopped for a moment and stared at the elderly version of his bondmate. “You’ve tried this before, haven’t you?”

Spock stopped as well, a little further down. “You are as brilliant now, I see, as you are when you are older. I have indeed, Jim, and failed.”

Jim licked his lips. “Does that mean…he’s destroyed Vulcan?”

“Yes. And its six billion people.”

“Oh, my God. Sarek, Amanda. They’re on Vulcan right now.”

Spock nodded. “Yes.”

“How many times?”

“This is my third attempt. I hope that it will be my last and that it will be successful.”

Spock continued down the corridor and Jim followed after him.

“I don’t really want to know what happened those other times, do I?”

“Knowing they were not successful is likely enough.”

“Did I die? Either time?”

“No, you did not.”

“What about you?”

“Negative.”

“Or any version of you?”

“I did not.”

Jim exhaled. “Okay, well, that’s good. What are we supposed to do? How can we stop it?”

“This is the first occurrence where I have been on their ship without their knowledge. We will use that to our advantage. I suspect they will soon realize that you are not where you are supposed to be when your young friend awakens.”

“He is not my friend,” Jim replied. “How do they plan to do it?”

“They inject the red matter into Vulcan’s core. How did you come upon this ship, Jim?”

“Oh. Well, it was parked in Riverside. Cloaked in a field. We went there to hang out after my dad’s funeral.”

Spock paused. “Your father?”

Jim nodded, feeling his heart clench. “He died a couple of days ago. Heart attack.”

“I am sorry, t’hy’la.”

He swallowed. “Yeah. Anyway, I had to know what Romulans were doing in Riverside and I kind of got carried away and got on board. Serran came with me. I didn’t know he was half-Romulan at the time.”

“Trouble finds you wherever you go, Jim. Come, we are running out of time.”


	35. Sacrifice

“What do we do?” Jim asked, running after the Vulcan. It amazed him how fast the older Spock was.

“There is a shuttle on board this ship,” Spock explained. “I intend to commandeer it with the red matter in my possession.”

Jim stopped him with a hand on his sleeve. “And then?”

“There are escape pods on the ship. You will need to be in one of them.”

“Escape pods?”

Spock nodded. “There is a planet known as Delta Vega where the escape pod will land. You must be very careful, ashaya. It is a dangerous planet.”

“Why can’t I go on the shuttle with you?”

Spock hesitated. “I intend to fly the shuttle into the Narada to destroy it along with the red matter.”

Jim’s breath caught and for a moment all he could do is stare at the older version of his t’hy’la. He shook his head.

“Jim—”

“No. No way. I’m not going to let you do this.”

“There is no other way, Jim.”

“Yes, there is.”

Jim and Spock froze and turned to see Serran standing behind them. Jim reached for his disruptor, but Serran waved him off.

“I come as an ally, Jim.”

“You’re no ally of mine,” Jim insisted.

Serran shook his head. “You are wrong. The only way for Spock’s plan to work is for me to assist you.” He stepped closer. “Jim, please. You must trust me. You do not have a lot of time. Nero is coming.”

“Why would you help us against your brother?”

“I am Vulcan too. And Nero’s’ next destination is Earth.”

Jim turned wide eyes to Spock. “Is that true?”

“Yes,” Spock said.

“As you see, you need my help.”

“What do you propose?” Spock asked.

“I propose that you and Jim take the escape pods to Delta Vega and I will pilot the shuttle with the red matter,” Serran said calmly.

Jim shook his head. “That’s a suicide mission, Serran.”

“Perhaps. Perhaps not.” Serran exhaled slowly. “Kaiidth.” He turned to Spock. “You know this is your best chance.”

“Look, I don’t like the fact that you betrayed me, but I still don’t want you to die,” Jim told him.

“I do not wish to die either,” Serran replied. “However, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one. Do they not, Spock?”

Spock nodded. “They do.”

“You’re going along with this?”

“It is either myself or Spock, Jim. I am the logical choice. I am familiar with the operation of the Romulan shuttle.”

Jim would prefer there were no sacrifices. He hated no win scenarios. “Does the shuttle have any kind of escape pod?”

Serran hesitated. “Yes.”

“You could use it, maybe, at the last moment before impact, couldn’t you?”

“Perhaps.”

“Whatever we decide, we must do it now, Jim,” Spock said.

And they were both looking at him like he should decide. Did they forget he was not quite seventeen years old? He didn’t want to decide this. But somehow Jim guessed maybe he had to.

“Jim—”

“All right, let’s do it.” And they ran for the location of the red matter and the shuttle.

When they had everything secured for the shuttle, the alarms of the Narada screeching around them, Serran showed them the escape pods.

“You must hurry. You do not want Nero to find a way to prevent the launch,” Serran told them, already turning toward the shuttle.

“Serran.”

“Yes, Jim?”

“We’re counting on you not to betray us. If you do…I swear I’ll do whatever it takes to find you.”

Serran smiled just a little “I know. I have no doubt. Live long and prosper, Jim. Tell Leonard…I am sorry.”

He turned and went into the shuttle bay.

Jim felt an unexpected tightness in his chest. He had not anticipated feeling this loss over Serran, not after his betrayal. And yet…he did. Perhaps Serran would make it. Jim didn’t know.

Spock grabbed him then and shoved him into an escape pod, which was a tiny thing Jim barely fit in. The door closed and Jim was locked in. He waited a moment and then pressed the button that would release the pod into space.

****

The impact of the pod slamming onto the surface of what Jim guessed was Delta Vega must have been jarring to say the least. He’d been knocked out. After he regained consciousness his teeth felt like they rattled in his mouth for a good five minutes. He scrambled to open it and get out. He appeared to be in some sort of crater so after securing himself in the cold weather gear Serran had supplied them with, Jim hoisted himself out of the crater and onto the planet surface.

“Spock?”

But there was no sign of another pod in his immediate area. Snow and ice swirled around him and Jim could tell the temperature would quickly make him a popsicle if he didn’t find shelter soon.

He looked up into the sky, hoping for signs of an explosion of the Narada, but he saw nothing. At least Vulcan was still there which was a hopeful sign.

More than anything in the world he wished Spock was with him. _His_ Spock, the one he hadn’t seen since San Francisco. The emptiness was like an aching hole in his heart.

Jim took a deep breath and looked around, trying to figure out his best route for shelter. When he found it, he hoped he would also find older Spock. He hated to think he might be stranded here alone.

He started walking to the right and had walked about a mile when he heard a weird sound. Jim stopped, looked around. Coming straight at him at lightning speed—warp speed even—was a giant long legged monster thing.

“Oh fuck!” Jim started running but the snow was making it impossible to run fast. He was about to become monster chow.

He fell to the ground and the creature reached him with its mouth open. Jim closed his eyes, not wanting to watch it eat him. And then nothing happened.

Breathing hard, he opened his eyes. The creature lay dead at his feet and older Spock stood there holding a disruptor. He reached a hand down to help Jim up.

“Thank fucking God,” Jim panted.

“There was no deity involved.”

Jim wheezed out a laugh. “I know. God, it’s good to see you. Do you think he did it?”

Spock nodded. “There was an explosion almost immediately after my pod landed.”

“Vulcan is safe?”

“It would seem so.”

Jim launched himself at the old Vulcan. “You did it! You saved Vulcan.”

Spock’s arms came around Jim, holding him tight. Perhaps a little tighter than it was necessary, but Jim didn’t mind. “I needed you and your young friend to do it.”

Jim closed his eyes. “Serran. I wonder if he made it.”

“I do not know. Come, Jim, the danger has not passed. We need to seek shelter, and then find a way to get you back home.”

Spock led him toward caves and Jim was pretty sure Spock was very familiar with Delta Vega.

“You’ve been here before, huh?”

“Yes,” Spock replied.

“Do you think Spock’s okay?”

“I am certain he is. You would have felt it if he was not.”

Jim bit his lip, nodded. “Even with you here?”

“Even still, yes.”

Spock gently pushed Jim into a cave and then together they managed to get a fire lit.

“There is a Starfleet Station on Delta Vega. After we rest, we’ll make our way there so we can notify them of your location.”

Jim nodded. “I can’t wait to get back. I probably worried everyone. Sam, Bones. Spock. God, I miss him.”

“I am certain he feels the same about you,” Spock said.

“And my dad,” Jim said softly. “I barely had time, you know, before everything happened.” He blinked away tears. “In the other times, when you tried to save Vulcan, did he live longer?”

Spock hesitated, staring into the fire. “Not then, no. You lost him very young.”

“Oh.” Jim stared at his hands. “I just…I wish there was something I could have done to save him.”

“Death is inevitable, t’hy’la, and never easy. Your father loved you and you loved him. You must take comfort in that.”

Jim nodded, swallowing heavily. “You’re right.”

“You will soon be reunited with Spock and that will help.”

“Yeah it will.” Jim smiled. “But it’s nice to have you. Really nice.”

“Indeed it is.” Spock patted Jim’s hand and he felt that same tingly warmth. 


	36. Goodbyes and a Future

Spock held back as he waited. He had been told that his bondmate was safe and had suffered no injury. That was, of course, the most important thing.

Standing a few feet to his left and in front of him was Jim’s brother, Sam, who also waited for Jim’s arrival. They’d talked quite a bit about Jim in his absence and Sam had agreed what was best for Jim was to be with Spock and his family.

Next to Sam stood Dr. McCoy, looking very impatient. They’d all been briefed on the circumstances of Jim’s infiltration of the Romulan ship. Starfleet officers also waited nearby intending to question both Jim and the older Vulcan that accompanied him. Jim seemed to be rather vague about his identity.

The doors to the shuttle opened, however the first one off was not Jim, but rather a man who was talking excitedly in a Scottish accent. Spock did not know him.

Jim appeared next at the top of the shuttle ramp. He had dark smudges under his very blue eyes and appeared to be in somewhat of a daze as he walked down the ramp. Jim’s gaze lit on Sam and McCoy and he started to head in their direction.

Spock felt it in his mind and heart when Jim’s gaze abruptly left them and landed on Spock where he stood. Joy and sorrow and guilt and hurt flashed all in Spock’s mind at once, all coming from his far-too-young-for-this bondmate.

Jim passed by Sam and McCoy and the Starfleet officers as though he and Spock were the only ones in the world. Their world, definitely.

Jim launched himself at Spock, throwing himself into Spock’s arms with enough force to have knocked an ordinary man off his feet. Spock closed his arms around Jim and pulled him tightly against him.

“T’hy’la,” he whispered in Jim’s ear.

Jim gave a little hitched breath, a tiny little hiccup, but it was enough for Spock to know his t’hy’la was crying. He was glad when others around them averted their eyes, but still Spock moved them even further away from the gathered crowd.

“It is all right, Jim,” Spock said. “I am here.”

“I was afraid I’d never see you again.” Jim’s voice was muffled by his face being crammed against Spock’s chest, but Jim would not move away. Any attempt to put even a little bit of space between them was met with Jim crawling closer.

“I would never permit that to happen,” Spock assured him.

“I almost got shot by Romulans.”

“A reasonable consequence of obtaining uninvited access to their ship.”

Jim snorted against Spock. “And then this Romulan tried to put a bug in my ear.”

Spock stiffened. “A slug?”

Jim nodded. “One of those, yeah.”

Spock exhaled slowly and squeezed him tighter. “He did not succeed?”

“No. Serran stopped him.”

“I am grateful to him.”

“Then this giant monster tried to eat me on Delta Vega.”

“You are here so you have not been eaten. How did you escape?”

“Spock.”

“Yes?”

Jim laughed a little and snuggled closer. “No. You. Only older. Older Spock. He saved me by shooting the monster.”

“He is the older Vulcan who accompanied you?”

“Yeah. He was trying to save Vulcan. More than once, too.”

“It would appear you two have quite a tale to tell,” Spock said, placing a kiss on top of Jim’s head.

Jim clutched Spock. “Don’t leave me.”

“I will not.”

“Everyone leaves me,” Jim whispered.

Spock closed his eyes and leaned against his bondmate. “I am sorry about your father. I grieve with thee.”

Jim nodded. “Don’t leave me.”

“I will not, ashayam.”

****

Jim sat outside on the old wooden crate gazing at the stars. In his hand he held the model of the starship Sam had given him so many months ago now.

He wasn’t surprised at all when Sam sat next to him on the crate, just as he had done on Jim’s sixteenth birthday.

“What a surprise to find you out here again,” Sam said softly, nudging Jim’s shoulder with his. “I’m surprised Spock let you out of his sight.”

Jim smiled. “It’s hard for him. He’s not at all used to this and he’s definitely not used to me. I think my stowing away on a Romulan ship freaked him out a bit.”

“It freaked us all out, kiddo.” Sam sighed. “I love you like crazy, but I have to admit I’m not entirely sorry it’s Spock and his parents who have to keep an eye on you now.”

“I think somewhere in there was a reason for me to be offended, but I’m just happy I’m going to San Francisco.”

“I know you are and that’s why I agreed. I want you to be happy, Jimmy.”

Jim nodded, a lump forming in his throat. “Still gonna sell this place?”

“I don’t know. Part of me thinks we should hold on to it for a while,” Sam admitted. “See what we think after the grief fades away a bit.”

“It hurts, Sammy. Not having him.”

“I know, kiddo. Me too.”

“It’s hard to believe how much it’s changed since my birthday.”

“Yeah. We’ll never be the same. We’ve got no parents now.”

“Does that make us orphans?”

Sam nodded. “I guess maybe it does. But we have each other even if we’re miles apart. I’ve got your back and you have mine.”

“Always.”

“And you have Spock now. I’m pretty sure he’s not going to let anything happen to you.”

Jim smiled. “I’m pretty sure, too.”

“It’s fucking freezing out here. Let’s go inside.”

Jim stood, looked around the yard. He’d lived most of his life here and it had been home. Without his dad, though, not so much.

Spock was waiting for him when he got inside. “I was about to come for you to tell you to come inside.”

“Was just thinking.” Jim snuggled up close to Spock, who pulled him close.

“About what?”

“About how fucking awesome you are.”

Spock shook his head but Jim felt his amusement through the bond.

He pulled back. “I need to talk to Bones. Is he around here?”

“Last I saw him he was talking to…the other Vulcan.”

“You mean the older you.”

He nodded. “Yes, I suppose.”

“It’s strange, huh? Thinking of other us.” Jim frowned. “Do you think there are others out there? You and me?”

“Perhaps.”

“I sort of like the idea of you always belonging to me,” Jim said with a smile.

Spock’s eyebrow shot up. “It is you who belong to me.”

Jim leaned up slightly to plant a kiss on the edge of Spock’s mouth, then he stepped back and touched his fingers to Spock’s. “I’ll be back, all right?”

For a moment Spock looked uncertain, Jim guessed maybe he’d look that way for a while, but then he inclined his head. “I will be waiting.”

****

He actually found Bones and the other Spock standing in a far corner of the farmhouse. They didn’t appear to be saying much of anything, but they were comfortable in their silence.

“Hey, Bones, can you give us a few minutes? I want to talk to you, so don’t go far.”

“All right,” Bones said, moving off toward the kitchen.

Jim smiled at older Spock. “Thank you…for everything.”

”There is no need to thank me, ashayam. It is you who finally helped me end the continual time loop of trying to save Vulcan. You will always have my gratitude and my love.”

“You have mine, also,” Jim whispered. “But you know that. What will you do now?”

“I will go back to my own time.”

“You can do that?”

Older Spock nodded. “Yes.”

Jim bit his lip. “And you won’t tell me how you do it, will you?”

“It is my secret, Jim.”

“I know, stubborn Vulcan.” He sighed. “What waits for you there? Do I?”

He smiled a little. “Yes. I am anxious to return to my Jim.”

“Am I an old man? I guess I must be.” Jim laughed.

“Well, you are sixteen. I suppose lots of beings would appear old to you.”

Jim grinned. “Maybe.” Jim stepped close to him. “Promise me you’ll be happy now, all right?”

“I will be happy, ashayam. Do not fear.”

Jim hugged him then, before he could protest, not that he thought Older Spock would. His Spock didn’t.

“I love you,” he whispered, his throat closing.

“And I you, ashayam.”

****

“Hey.”

Bones looked up from the glass of bourbon he held. He’d been staring into it. “Hey, kid.”

“I’m sorry. About Serran.”

“Me too.”

“Did you—”

“Yeah. Once. It wasn’t serious or anything.” Bones shrugged. “Not yet anyway. Hadn’t gotten the chance. I didn’t know about—”

“No, of course not,” Jim said hurriedly. “But in the end, he helped us. I don’t think we could have done it, saved Vulcan, without him. That’s something anyway.”

“Yeah it is. Don’t look so maudlin, kid. I’ll be okay.”

Jim smiled and touched Bones’ arm. “I know you will be. We all will be. And you know what?”

“What?”

“You’ll be my CMO one day when I’m captain.”

Bones snorted at that. “Right.”

“I’m serious. And Spock will be my first officer. You two will be important, of course, but I’ll be in charge.” Jim laughed.

Bones rolled his eyes. “You’re such a dreamer.”

“Yeah,” Jim said. “I’ve always known I wasn’t going to live an ordinary life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is basically the end here. And what a voyage it has been for me. And I hope for you. I thought at one point I would get it up over 100,000 words like Going Boldly but I just didn't manage it. This was my first attempt at an AU Star Trek and I loved writing it. I loved this Jim and this Spock very much. There was a sweetness to this Jim, one who hadn't been abused or experienced Tarsus. I couldn't resist saving Vulcan of course.


	37. Epilogue - To Boldy Go Where No Man Has Gone Before

_Several years into the future_

“Jim.”

“Mm.”

“Jim.”

“Mm.”

“Captain.”

Jim’s eyes opened. Spock stared down at him, standing above him, out of their bed.

“I knew that would get your attention,” Spock said amused.

“Why are you out of bed?” Jim yawned and then flopped on his back. Had to be early still. He hadn’t even heard the rooster.

“There are no roosters on the Enterprise,” Spock reminded him.

Jim grinned. He loved it when Spock read his thoughts. “Yeah, yeah. Still, babe, why _are_ you up?”

“We are due on the bridge soon.”

“How long?”

“One hour.”

“Well, hell, that’s plenty of time then.”

Spock arched a brow. “For?”

“You to fuck me.”

“You need to eat and take a shower.”

Jim scoffed. “I can take a shower in five minutes and I’ll eat an apple on the bridge. Get back in bed.”

“I have already dressed,” Spock protested.

“Come on, babe, please?” Jim licked his lips and smiled as sweetly as he could at his husband and bondmate.

Spock almost sighed as he yanked his uniform shirts up over his head and laid them on a chair nearby. “You know I will always indulge you.”

He peeled off his boots and then his pants and knelt on the bed next to Jim. He pulled aside the covers surrounding Jim.

“Kiss me,” Jim urged.

Spock touched his fingers to Jim’s.

Jim growled. “You know I mean human kissed.”

“Perhaps.” Spock leaned down to kiss Jim.

And God, what a kiss it was. It left him breathless, yearning. Desperate for Spock. As he always was.

Spock broke the kiss to reach for the lube beside the bed and squeezed some on his fingers.

“Yes, Spock. Yes.”

Spock’s fingers entered him, pushing into him. Jim moaned and nearly jumped off the bed.

“Please, please, Spock. I’m begging.”

“I can tell.” Spock spread his fingers over Jim’s face. “My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts.”

“Yes, God. Fuck me. Do it all.”

Spock lifted Jim’s legs and entered him even as their minds joined. Soon Jim couldn’t contain his cries and he gave himself over to Spock.

“Mine,” Spock growled.

“Oh, yes,” Jim said breathlessly. “Yours.”

****

“Keptin on the bridge,” Ensign Chekov declared.

Jim stepped off the turbolift, Spock by his side, and smiled as he surveyed the bridge. That never got old, he had to admit.

Spock moved off toward his station. Jim spared a glance in Lieutenant Uhura’s direction, who smiled warmly.

He moved to his chair, recently vacated by Scotty. He squeezed Scotty’s shoulder and sat down.

“How are things, Scotty?”

“Fine, Captain. No issues.”

Jim smiled. “Status report, Mr. Sulu?”

“We’re approaching the space station now, Captain. The conference is already in session and they’re expecting you.”

“Excellent.”

The conference they’d been asked to attend by Starfleet was a peace conference. The Klingons were invited. The Tellarites. Even the Romulans. Didn’t mean it would go peacefully, of course. In fact, Jim was pretty sure it would not. Fortunately, he was prepared for anything.

“Captain, we’re being hailed.”

He turned in his chair toward Uhura even as Spock came to stand beside him. Spock was always a comforting presence in his mind and by his side. Always. “By who?”

“Another ship, sir. The Commander says he knows you.” Uhura frowned. She hesitated, then blurted out, “It’s a Romulan ship.”

Jim exchanged a look with Spock. “On screen.”

The view screen blinked and then the inside of a Romulan ship appeared. Another ten seconds passed and then a very familiar figure appeared.

“Jim, Spock.” He held his hand up in the ta’al. “Live Long and Prosper.”

Jim stared at the half-Vulcan, half-Romulan on the screen. “Serran?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---The End---
> 
> And that finally really is the end of this one. I want to thank you for reading this. And I especially want to thank Carla_L who has been my faithful beta reader for this story from the beginning. Her encouragement and support has meant the world to me.


End file.
